Journey, Sojiro's story
by Aikida
Summary: The quest to find his one and only truth leads Sojiro down a twisting path of confusion and bloodshed. The only one he can trust is the reliable Yasue who may or may not have a few deadly secrets of her own.
1. I Shall Become Myself

Disclaimer: Of course, Sojiro Seta, Kenshin, Yumi, Shishio... errm... Karou, and... I feel like I'm missing someone, don't belong to me, but so Watsuki-sama. The rest though, i.e. Yasue and Shizokuma, do, so don't steal them without permission. If you have permission you can steal them. : )

This story is about the adventures after Sojiro finds emotion. I've read others where Sojiro becomes insane with the effort to understand them, but in this, he is sane. I rated this PG, but later chapters WILL NOT BE! Perhaps... there is a lemon one, though it's not very explicit. Enjoy

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Chapter one - I Shall Become Myself (The Threads of Past and Present)

_To this day he had never had someone to shed tears of caring for him. If he had someone like that I'm sure he would have had a completely different life… that he would…_

"Do you believe me when I say I love you"

"Sojiro"

Sojiro's head snapped up, his eyes wide open

"Sojiro, you must not do that. The soup is hot! It will burn your face if you nod off into it" Shizokuma said, chuckling.

"Oh yes Shizo-sama. I apologize for worrying you" Sojiro replied, bobbing his head up and down. Shizokuma chuckled again.

"What is it that you do all night to make you so tired" she asked, walking away. Sojiro continued to smile. "You've created quite a debt here you know, but I'm willing to forget it if you do me a favor" she said, turning to peer at him. Sojiro smiled, waiting for her to continue. "I got in a load of rice and a few barrels need to go to the back shed. I'll feed you before you leave."

Sojiro stood and bowed. "Thank you Shizo-sama! Thank you very much. I would like that." he said. She nodded. Shizokuma showed him the back shed and then the rice barrels. The familiar objects sparked something deep inside.

"Just put those in the shed and I'll let you off." She said, patting Sojiro on his shoulder before walking back into her restaurant. Sojiro turned to the barrels, staring at them a moment before swinging his arms into the straps and loading the barrel onto his back. He'd done this before, a long time ago. All day he'd be forced to carry barrels back and fourth. Hundreds a day. For his reward he was fed little and beaten a lot.

_What the hell are you smiling for?_

Sojiro paused and touched his forehead. The sake bottle flew through the air and crashed into his head. The blood ran down his face, dripping over his eye, down his cheek, over his smile...

Sojiro stepped foreword, balancing himself. Since his battle with the Battousai, his logic had begun to twist. Shishio, the strongest man, lost to a weak fighter whose morals were… wrong. How could a wanderer, a protector, defeat the man whose name meant death and destruction? Were the weak strong? Was Mr. Shishio wrong? No... yes...

Sojiro stepped forward again. He'd been out there for five minutes and hadn't even made it twenty steps to the shed. With a sigh, he smiled and began to walk. It was true he had learned that what Shishio had taught him was wrong, but did that mean the Battousai was right? He had thought at one point he was, but now he wasn't so sure. He couldn't just forget what Shishio had taught him so easily. The one rule he had lived his whole life by couldn't be forgotten so quickly.

The strong live and the weak die. He had thought about that on his walk north. Shishio was defeated and the Battousai went home on his companion's shoulders. He had to leave that place. He had to go somewhere where the past couldn't catch up to him.

The shed was small, only big enough to hold the extra supplies, but it harbored the same scent that the other one had. The water from rain and snow had seeped deep into the wood and let off musty fumes. Sojiro let the rice barrel slip off of his shoulders and land in front of him. The weight was gladly discharged and Sojiro allowed himself a short rest before he would go back and get the others.

I think I might stay here for a while 

Sojiro looked up, seeing Shishio leaning against the wall, his hands resting behind his head and a contented smile on his face. He looked as he had the first time they met. "Mr. Shishio. Is it true what you said? Do the weak die" Sojiro asked him, hiding his body behind the rice. Shishio disappeared. Sojiro tried to smile, but found that the simple task wasn't as simple as he'd thought. The sight of Shishio had relieved him slightly. The charred body of his strong master had set him at ease for a moment and then the burning sensation of unanswered questions flared up deep in his soul. "That is why I lost. That is why I'm weak. What was Senkaku talking about? Why was he so jubilant that Himura had shown him mercy? That's why I killed him, after all. Just to see him by the water so calm after he had been defeated so easily..."

Not killing… protecting the weak… 

"Goodbye Shizo-sama. Thank you for the meal." Sojiro said. He was finally able to leave after putting the rice barrels away, washing the dishes, sweeping the walk, and cleaning the floor. Sojiro walked out of Shizokuma's and stared at the sky. The moon was big tonight. Mr. Shishio was greater... or had been.

"Oh Sojiro! You must be careful out there. There have been a lot of raids by some group of bandits. I think they call themselves the Gundashi or something. Anyway, I don't think they're any match for you kiddo, but still, be alert and watch your back."

What's wrong kiddo? 

"Yes Yumi, I will be." Sojiro smiled and plodded away, a grin upon his face. Shizokuma blinked and creased her brow.

"Yumi" Shrugging, she went back inside her restaurant and closed up.


	2. The Arrival of the Gundashi

**Thanks to all those people who reviewed this for me. I appreciate it very much. : )**

**Disclaimer: I, of course, was not genious enough to think of the characters of Rurouni Kenshin and therefore do not own them.

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**Chapter Two – Touch me and You'll Get Cut (The Gundashi)**

_If you're weak you die... but still..._

Sojiro plodded down the street, his head swinging from side to side as he hummed a tune to himself. It was so dark out. The moon barely showed through the thick collection of clouds in the sky. Those rice barrels had been a lot heavier than he had remembered. Then again, he hadn't really done much since the fight…

_Uh oh, looks like Sojiro screwed up again and broke another rice barrel..._

Sojiro stopped.

"If you want money so much you should go out and earn it yourselves instead of taking it from others!" Yasue screamed, crying out as the man's hand flew out and struck her in the face, sending her back into the wall, woven baskets falling on her from the shelf above.

"No! Get out you scumbags," she howled, jumping up from the pile of baskets and attacking the man's red clothed arm as he reached for her money. She had been about ready to close up and had put all her earnings in a drawstring bag.

"How dare you call me that? Give me want I want."

Sojiro cleared his throat and smiled. "Excuse me, but who are you and why are you hurting Miss Yasue?" Sojiro asked. The man threw Yasue off of his arm and turned to Sojiro. _When did he get there? What a small kid… isn't he scared he'll get hurt? _

"I am Mikazu of the Gundashi. Who're you, you little punk?"

"I am Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana," Sojiro said, blinking afterwards in surprise. What had he just said? The Juppongatana? Wasn't that behind him now? Obviously not...

"Ju…pon… never heard of it. Listen kid, just keep walkin'. We didn't come here for you," Mikazu said. If Sojiro were just an ordinary kid he would have walked away. Mikazu was definitely a man of strength. Then again, so was Makoto Shishio, but by looking at him you'd think he was only an emaciated invalid, not a strong and powerful swordsman who was allowed the title of the Battousai. Mikazu had long black hair that surrounded his face and made it look long and thin. It was tied back with a thick dark blue ribbon, which held it rigidly in place in the back of his head. Mikazu stood tall, almost six feet and upon his bulging body he wore a red gi and a black hakama. His companion, who now held Yasue up by her ebony hair, wore the same attire and looked strangely like Sojiro himself, but something about him seemed off.

_Protecting the weak isn't right..._

Sojiro didn't move, just smiled. Yasue growled and began to kick at the burly man who threatened her. Sojiro began to tap his foot impatiently on the dusty, half-frozen ground. Mikazu shrugged and nodded to his companion, watching as Yasue glared at him. "Now dear if you had just given me what I wanted then you wouldn't be in this predicament, would you?"

_He brought it upon himself, always smiling like that..._

"I worked for what I have right now. You've done nothing but steal from those who couldn't kill you!" Yasue yelled, her foot flying at him. Mikazu reached forward and grasped her neck through her pale purple kimono, hoisting her up above him with one hand. He then used his other hand and squeezed the sides of her kneecap with his fingertips. Yasue screamed.

_After all, trying to use a sword to protect people isn't right at all..._

She stared down at Mikazu, hate flaming in her green, cat like eyes. "Just give it to me. It would make this all very easy for both of us," Mikazu said quietly. Yasue spit in his face, her fingernails digging into his arm until it began to draw blood. Mikazu wiped the mess on his face away angrily, glaring at Yasue. He drew his sword slowly, letting the lights glint off of the sharp blade. Yasue began to choke as Mikazu's grip tightened around her slender throat. "Give it to me Yasue," he growled.

"Never in a million years." She laughed, her eyes tearing up as she struggled to breathe through Mikazu's grasp.

_Does dying really make you that happy?_

Mikazu swung his sword up, the point a hair's width away from her right arm. "Stupid," he mumbled. The younger boy with him grinned and began to rummage through some things in the store. Sojiro silently jumped lightly up and switched to his other foot. Mikazu barely had enough time to see the clouds of dust being punched into the air before Sojiro's sword pierced through his arm. Mikazu stared a minute, sweat dripping from his face before the pain registered and he released Yasue. Sojiro took back his sword, a placid expression on his face.

Mikazu stumbled back, cradling his wounded arm. The other boy stopped rummaging through the shop and looked up, a surprised expression on his face. "Why you little punk. You were lucky to get that first hit. I'll be back for you girl. And I'll make sure you never smile like that again you bastard punk," Mikazu grunted, turning to leave.

_Nobody helped me back then. Back then, you didn't protect me.._

"But I can protect you now and that's all that matters."

"Sojiro? Oh… you…" Yasue stuttered, sitting helplessly on the ground. Sojiro offered her his hand, looking down benevolently at her confused face. She grabbed it and stood up, collapsing into him as a sharp pain shot through her legs. "I didn't think you were going to help me," she whispered, clutching onto his blue gi sleeves.

Sojiro pushed her back and held her at arm's length. "I was just waiting for him to forget I was there. I'm sorry Miss Yasue. Are you feeling all right?" he asked. She nodded, fisting her hands under her chin.

"I was just about to lock up and go home when they showed up."

"I suppose I'll escort you home to make sure you get there all right."

_Perhaps a part of you does not want to live at the expense of others..._

"I would appreciate that Sojiro. Thank you," she said, bowing her head.

"Sojiro, are you done with your chores yet? If you're not I'm going to give this to someone who actually deserves it," the old woman yelled.

"I have one more thing to do. Would I still be able to eat?" Sojiro asked, smiling at the hags scowling face. For a while they stared at each other, their expressions not changing. Suddenly the old woman smiled and said 'no' before cackling and walking back into the house. Sojiro kept smiling and nodded as he walked back to his chores, his stomach heavy with hunger.

"Sojiro…" 

"Yes Miss Yasue?"

"It's late; you can sleep here. I have extra blankets for you. I can get them."

"Miss Yasue, I can walk back by myself. That's fine. I'm not really all that tired," Sojiro answered, smiling again. Yasue bit her lip, frowning. It was so dark out…

"Would you… _please_ stay? I'm afraid they'll come back. I would feel much safer if you stayed with me. At least for one night," she said, covering her face with her hands so he couldn't see how red she had turned.

"If it makes you feel safe I'll stay for the night," Sojiro said, nodding to her. Yasue lowered her hands, staring at him.

"Plea- wait… you will?" She inquired, pulling on her sleeves. Sojiro nodded. She hiccuped a sound of relief and guided him into his room. He thanked her and she left.

Later, while she was in her own room, Yasue scrutinized the ceiling, thinking. Sojiro had been the object of her affection for a while, but he had been skipping out on visiting her at night. Was there another girl he saw instead? Yasue turned on her side, closing her eyes. You could have called it love at first sight, but that wouldn't have been exactly right. When he had first come to the shop and smiled, she couldn't sense any genuine feeling behind it. It almost seemed as though he had successfully pulled off showing a charming and warm smile without feeling it at all. From then on, Yasue had wanted to put meaning into it and quickly it turned into a crush.

It wasn't like she was head over heels in love, but there was still an attraction. "If it makes you feel safe I'll stay for the night" Yasue mumbled, opening her eyes. Did he do that to make me feel better or was it to shut me up? "If it makes YOU feel safe…."

Yasue closed her eyes again and tried to go to sleep.

_If you're strong you live; if you're weak you die. What protected me back then was the truth that Mr. Shishio taught me…and a single wakizashi. That's why Mr. Shishio is the one who's right. I wasn't wrong for what I did. The one who's wrong is you!_

Sojiro sat up, holding his head in his hands. "I'm confused," he mumbled. At some point he had been sure that what Shishio said was the infallible truth. The strong live… the weak die. Then he had realized, through his defeat by Kenshin, that Shishio was wrong. So why did he still believe in those words?

_I won't know whether or not he's right or Mr.Shishio, whom I've always believed in. So now I will find out with my Shuntensatsu_

"Shishio…" Sojiro flipped the covers off of him and sat cross-legged on his futon. "I know you're wrong so why do I still follow your words? I don't understand. Once again I'm confused," he whispered. It didn't take long for his breath to turn white.

"Sojiro?" Yasue stood by his door, which was opened only enough for her face to show through. She called his name out again and then stepped inside, leaning against the wall and shutting the door behind her.

"Yasue you should be asleep right now," Sojiro said, smiling. Yasue lowered her eyes and bowed, turning and opening the door. "Was there something you wanted to ask me Miss Yasue?"

She stopped, closing the door slightly and pivoting her body. "Um… no, there wasn't,"

she retorted, swallowing hard and returning to the door.

"Very well, but I have a few to ask you. Would you please come and sit down? Unless of course you're tired." Sojiro's smile was frightening. Yasue swallowed again and nodded, coming to sit by his futon. He was such a small boy that sometimes it was hard to believe he was even remotely close to her age. She averted her eyes, not wanting to see his face, not wanting to see his grin. "First, are you all right?"

She nodded, slumping a little. Could you just stop smiling? That'd make me feel a whole lot better.

"Second, why didn't you scream for help? Why didn't you ask me to help you?" He asked. Yasue looked up, furrowing her brow. "When you were at your store, I was right there. Why didn't you ask me to help you?" he said. Yasue frowned, fidgeting uncomfortably and clasping her hands in her lap. She barely remembered what happened as it was.

"Did you need to be invited? Is that why you didn't help me? Because I didn't ask you to help me?" she asked, beginning to feel stupid. If I had known that I would have asked for help before Mikazu had popped my kneecaps, she thought, a sharp pain springing out in her knee as if to remind her.

"I… no, that's not it. I did help you, but why didn't you ask me to? You were defenseless and I was right there with my sword in my hand and you didn't ask me to help. You didn't ask for anyone to help you..." Sojiro looked at her and smiled again. "And that I just don't understand. That… confuses me…"

_You're frustrating Mr.Himura. The very fact that you're standing here frustrates me._

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_Note: Sorry if this took a long time. I was so bored, it's surprising this didn't get done sooner. Anyways, the third might take a little longer since I'm thinking I might have lost the notebook with the first like.. 16 chapters in it bites fingers. Don't fret though, I will find it! It had to be around here somewhere. _

and to my beta, Danny, the reason he called her by her name... yeah, he does, so he did. I hope this makes sense.


	3. Innocent Insults

**kimberlyann:** I think the italics in the center are interesting too rubs chin Thanks for reviewing for me. Glad you like it :)  
**xzig-zagx:** Yasue is a character invented by moi. She is not in the RK anime. You will find out in the next chapter (i think) how long Sojiro has known her. Tee hee.  
**Tenken's Amour:** Why thank you for liking it!  
**Mashimaro:** Shukuchi comes later, muuuuuch later.  
**Tenken's Lover:** Oh yes. Two lemons actually and a lot of touching in between. Mucho touching.  
**Leona Westly: **HAHA! Chivalrous. Just wait till you get to the later chapters. He doesn't stay that way!  
**"Oro" Object:** I did find my notebook thank god. Unfortunately, the cover fell off and I did a half ass job of repairing it. You know, since all my notebooks fall apart, they should come out with some device that fixes that for you. Like notbook tape or something. Clip on front covers... gah

ONTO THE STORY!  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Rurouni Kenshin characters.

**Chapter Three – Innocent Insults**

I think I better return that sword to Mr. Shishio. I know I'm weak, but I prefer things the way they are…

"I must have forgotten or something. I don't know why I didn't ask for you help. I don't remember what I was thinking," Yasue said, wringing her hands nervously and shrugging. The room seemed to shrink as her uneasiness did.

Why hadn't I asked for help? At that time I don't think I even noticed him there. I don't think I saw him… or I would remember. I'm sure I would have if I saw him.

Sojiro lowered his head and glared at the blankets. He was irate at the confusion he felt. That stupid confusion, that one stupid feeling… it cost him his victory… his way of life. But wasn't he glad that he had gotten rid of that? Wasn't he grateful to Mr. Himura for helping him see the light… even if it was dim?

Sojiro broke down…

"You also said 'those who couldn't kill you'."

"Did I?"

"Yep, you said 'you've done nothing but steal from those who couldn't kill you'. That's what you said," Sojiro mumbled, looking at her again. The smile he wore so often was nowhere to be seen, but it had been replaced with something equally terrifying. As much as Yasue had hoped the smile would vanish, she desperately wanted it back over the frowning dark face that Sojiro sported instead.

"Okay. I remember saying that now." Yasue nodded. "Why? Did it bother you?" she asked, wringing her hands even more distressed than before. Sojiro's dark eyes drifted to her hands, observing their quick movements as they rolled over each other and pulled at the fingers like they were supposed to come off, but were stuck. Had he done that to her? Had he made her this uncomfortable in her own home? Sojiro tried to soften his face. He knew how it must look, how awful his expression must appear to her, but he found it difficult to find his usual smile.

"It did… not… _bother_ me," Sojiro stammered, his eyes still transfixed on her twitching hands. "I just was… wondering… why you didn't say something else," Sojiro whispered. Why was he saying this? This was only going to make her even more uneasy and wasn't that what he was trying to rectify?

"Why I didn't say something else?"

"Yes… why didn't you say weak instead?"

Her hands froze in her lap, something Sojiro's keen eyes picked up immediately, and stared at him with a shocked expression. Sojiro's expression twitched slightly, as her green eyes seemed to freeze in their sockets. "W-weak? You think I'm weak?" she stammered, standing up quickly. The boy jumped up with her, shaking his hands and head simultaneously. "You think I'm weak…" she whispered, looking away from Sojiro and his apologetic face.

"No Miss Yasue. That's not what I meant. I didn't mean it like that," Sojiro said, taking a step towards Yasue. In response, she took another one back. Sojiro paused and then smiled, bowing and taking one back. "I apologize if what I've said has insulted you, which I'm sure it has by the looks of it. You should go back to sleep. I'm sorry I kept you up so late with my silly questions. I'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning."

"Leaving?" Yasue echoed, dropping her hands to her side. Sojiro nodded his head and continued smiling. It was strange, she thought that look would be welcome after his former scowl, but it wasn't. "What you… I mean I wasn't… insulted by what you said, just a little surprised," she blurted, feeling guilty suddenly. Despite how cold it had been earlier, on their walk back, she suddenly felt hot and she had an inkling it was from her blushing. Had she seen a shadow of sadness on his smile just now or was that her imagination? "There's no hurry either. You don't have to leave right away. I'm not kicking you out or anything, but good night Sojiro." She bowed and left the room.

"Good night Miss Yasue," Sojiro whispered, bowing also. He stood staring at the pale yellow shoji, wondering what emotion it was that he was feeling. He knew it wasn't anger, for her had felt that already.

Not killing…protecting the weak…

Everything you're saying it wrong!

It wasn't fear; he had felt that too.

Someone help me. Someone? Anyone? Someone help me!

It was different, almost like a pound of lead had been dropped into his stomach. He had felt it when he was with Anji and Hoji after the fire…

I suppose that means Miss Yumi isn't coming back either…

Sojiro sat down on top of his fluffy covers. When Miss Yasue had asked him to stay, he didn't object at all. Now he couldn't figure out why. There was no reason for him to stay. He wasn't tired at all. Even now he couldn't close his eyes. It was as if the ceiling was suddenly some elaborate painting that he couldn't take his eyes off of, but it was only a wooden ceiling brown in color. Nothing special or interesting about it unless that kind of thing was interesting, how would he know?

"I wonder what happened to the other members of the Juppongatana. Anji and Hoji went to jail, I know that much… but as for Lord Kamatari and Hennya and all the rest of them…" Sojiro sighed. "Mr. Shishio and Ms.Yumi died together and, if I knew her as well as I think I do, she either committed suicide after Mr. Shishio's death or was killed by him himself. I wish I had asked Hoji about the fight before I left them."

Sojiro flopped back onto the soft padding of his bed, letting out a long sigh. "I don't like this feeling," he whispered, "whichever one it might be."

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Author's note: Ah, I like this chapter. It's not my favorite of course grin. I do apologize to my beta for posting this before she sent me her editings, but (and without the intention of being mean) I couldn't wait any longer. 

NEXT CHAPTER: Chaos at the Onkoshi and perhaps a violent double personality? Loss of reality, developement of relationships, Sojiro just got lost, yet again. Hoo ya, try and make sense out of THAT one! Haha.


	4. Meddling Acquaintances

**Omasuoniwabanshi: **OO, admiration. Why thank you for so many compliments rolled up into one nice little review! I must say though, to give myself some credit, that I did try and make Sojiro's emotion a bit jumbled, but I didn't think I really succeeded as much as you're giving me credit for. But if you say so, I'm just going to go ahead and believe you. Arigato.

**Luna Evander:** What's a Mary Sue? EK told me that too at some point. I'm glad she's not since I'm getting the vibe that a Mary Sue is a bad thing. Thanks though for the review. I like this story much too.

**Chibi-Assassin: **WACHH! Here you go, demand fulfilled.

**Anonymous Freak**: D

**EK**: Goodness, he was my favorite character (one of them but I can't seem to find a way to get Saito into one of my stories since he's not really… well, the info on him is quite contained to me. Shishio's getting into one though soon. Why is it I like all the bad guys? And I'm glad I could help you out. You're story is so excellent. I'm looking foreword to the next chapter!

**Chapter Four – Meddling Acquaintances**

_So are you going to tell me why you keep smiling like that after they beat you?_

Yasue woke up just as the sun began to shine through her window. It only took a minute for the memories of the night before to come flooding back with the force of a tsunami into her mind and in seconds she was on her feet and sprinting as fast as she could to Sojiro's room. In a flash, she threw the door open and took a deep breath. Had she actually expected him to be there in his bed? He did say he would be leaving.

He had folded and piled all the blankets nicely in the center of the room and left even before the sun had come up. That boy certainly stuck to what he said that was for sure. Yasue walked in, heaving a deep sigh from the pits of her chest and looked sadly at the blankets. For a moment she stared, the foggy fatigue she felt from the night not yet past, and then the image of a note topped nicely on the blankets registered and she knelt in front of the blankets and took the folded piece of paper in her hands. It was opened carefully, like it was glass, and she turned and leaned against the soft blankets as she read what the small boy had to say.

_Dear Miss Yasue,  
__I thank you for letting me stay in your house last night and I apologize for making you uncomfortable despite your hospitality. That was not my intention. I'm hoping that I will be able to stop by your store later tonight. Perhaps I'll be able to help you clean up the mess that was created yesterday. I do apologize for what happened.  
__Sojiro_

Yasue let the glass note fall from her hands and drift to the floor so it settled in her yukata covered lap and turned her head to gaze at the sun streaked ceiling. Her friends had been right. Falling in love with a fighter was a difficult thing to do. Not necessarily the falling in love, but maintaining that love as they came slowly to the realization of what it was as well. A bit heavily, Yasue stood and walked out of the room, adjusting her yukata as she did. Thank goodness Sojiro _wasn't_ there for he certainly would have gotten and eyeful more than she wished to give him.

Once inside her room, she paused, looking around and wondering what it was she should wear. If Sojiro were to be stopping by her shop, she wanted to look good for him. After a while, she searched through her kimonos and found a lovely red one with small black blossoms on the sleeves and neck line. Grabbing her mirror and sitting down, Yasue brushed her long black hair until it was silky and shiny and then stood and made her way to her store, the Onkoshi.

….

"Sojiro, you're such a little brat! We give you food and you don't even say thank you!"

"Thank you…"

She slapped him hard and then smacked his bowl away from him, the contents spilling on the spring grass. "If you're going to be an ungrateful dog then you will eat like on too! Mother was so nice to take a dirty, selfish little brat like you in and you don't even have the common courtesy to thank her for the food she gives you. STOP SMILING LIKE THAT!" she screamed, slapping him with a strong fury which left a large red blotch on the dirty cheek of the small red boy she tormented.

Sojiro continued to smile, the pain she dealt him not even registering in his dying sense of touch. He watched the woman walk inside with what she mistook as amusement and as soon as she had disappeared into the warm house, his small bruised hand reached out for the disrupted rice.

…..

"SOJIRO!"

Sojiro's head snapped up so hard his neck cracked. Rubbing the small pain out of his neck, Sojiro looked up to see who had yelled at him. Shizokuma stood off in front of him her hands resting on her hips and her face pinched into a scowl. "I swear! One more second and you would have burned your nose. What in God's name were you doing last night?" Shizokuma laughed, her scowl melting into an amused smile. She sashayed over to him and whacked him hard on the back with the flat of her palm. Sojiro coughed and smiled up at Shizokuma. "You aint gonna tell me are ya, huh? Too bad," she laughed again, shaking her head. Sojiro responded negatively, attempting to eat his soup again.

"Sojiro!"

Sojiro's head practically flew from his neck. Cringing in pain and making a mental note to himself to stop reacting so quickly to his name, Sojiro looked up slowly, meeting the gaze of a rather young swordsman. "Yoshi? What are you doing here?

"Where _were_ you last night? The captain almost went insane on us when you didn't show up," Yoshi huffed, out of breath. He bent over and took a deep breath, exhaling loudly and standing back up. Sojiro stood as well, addressing his superior, in age at least, with respect.

"The captain?"

"Yeah kid, the captain started the meeting half and hour late because he was waiting for your small ass to show up. You're going to have some explaining to do when you show up next time. He's put a lot of trust in you kid."

"I apologize. I didn't hear of any meeting otherwise I would have tried my best to be there." Sojiro could only think of what would have happened to Yasue if he had actually known about the meeting. He wouldn't have been there to save her. What were they doing there anyway? Why did they talk to Yasue like they knew her? For some reason, Sojiro had an inkling that the little sack of money wasn't what they wanted from Yasue. Sojiro looked at Yoshi, bowing slightly. Yoshi lifted an eyebrow and then with a hearty laugh, slapped Sojiro on the back, which made him cough again upon impact.

"You're a good one kid. You wanna meet me here tomorrow? For lunch I mean and we can talk about what you missed. It's not that much, but the captain may want to pass on some special info to ya," Yoshi said, winking and nodding to the small Tenken. As he made his way to the door, one last thought crossed his mind and he turned to Sojiro, grinning. "I'll pay for the meal by the way Sojiro. See ya tomorrow kid."

Sojiro nodded to Yoshi and then gave a sideways glance at Shizokuma who stood beaming at the door with her tray clutched close to her chest. "My my, what a nice piece of man _that_ was. Yoshi? Oh, how old is he Sojiro?" With a small shiver, she seated herself across from Sojiro so she could gaze at him until an answer was given. After a moment, the stare began to get to the small boy and he swallowed his soup and smiled at the older woman.

"Oh Miss Shizokuma-sama, a little too young for you I'm afraid." Sojiro laughed nervously, taking another soup to avert his attention away from Shizokuma's hardening stare. In a flash, her fists hit the table and the tray she had clutched so tightly fell to the floor with a loud crash. Sojiro jumped back from his disrupted soup and stared at the flushed Shizokuma, keeping his usual smirk on his face.

"And what's THAT supposed to mean? I may be in my thirties, but I'm just as spry as any teenager when it comes to a man I'll have you know that much," Shizokuma yelled, suddenly oblivious to her customers who had all turned their attention to the vociferous bursts of words that came from her mouth. Sojiro's smile fell sideways and he stifled a groan. "And I'll also have you know Mr. So-ji-ro, that I've been told I'm very good in-"

"Ack! He's twenty-one!" Sojiro yelled, covering his ears and jumping from the table. "Miss Shizokuma, I'm sure that was you say is true, but I would rather not know any details… at all." Sojiro laughed curtly, shaking his head.

"That's fine with me, virgins don't usually like to talk about that," she said, smiling smugly up at him and resting her chin in her hand. Her grin grew even more devilish and he could just see the horns rising from her head. Nonetheless, he kept a pleasant smile on his face and bowed goodbye to Shizokuma before leaving.

….

Yasue stepped into her store, picking up dicon radishes and potatoes off the floor. "They couldn't possibly have been more messy could they?" she whispered. Then again, if she were robbing someplace, she wouldn't be too careful about keeping the place clean. But they weren't there to rob her now were they?

Yasue straightened, looking around her disheveled store. It was going to be a rather cold winter day today with the way the wind was blowing . Yasue tucked a bit of her hair behind her ear and frowned. Was someone whispering?

"We shouldn't do it here. This is Miss Yasue's shop."

Sojiro? She ran around the side of the shop to investigate. Who was with him? Was it a girl? She scuffled a little closer to the edge and peeked around, trying her best to keep quiet.

"Miss Yasue? You've got the hots for the chick at the Onkoshi?" the man said. Sojiro was there, giving his usual passive smile. What were they doing on the side of her shop? What couldn't they do here? Yasue gasped. Was Sojiro gay? Yasue covered her mouth, hiding behind her shop as the conversation hesitated a moment.

"No, she just had some trouble at her shop last night and I don't want to give her any more is all," he replied, chuckling a little at the other man's comment.

"Same thing Sojiro. Anyway, let's go then. We'll go further into the back alley's to do it." The two began to walk away, heading back into the deserted streets behind the shops. Yasue stepped out, following them slowly until they stopped in the alley. For a moment neither of them moved, then Sojiro's companion unsheathed his sword and swung it at Sojiro, who strangely had relocated two yards away.

"Wha? How'd'ja pull that one off?" the man gasped, lowering his sword from the air and bringing it back to his side.

"I saw you grabbing your sword. You have to be much faster to cut me Yoshi," Sojiro laughed. Yoshi lifted his sword again and dropped his foot back behind him.

"This time I won't miss you Sojiro."

"You sound as though you actually want to kill me," Sojiro chortled. Yoshi's stance faltered and he jumped back as Sojiro appeared right in front of him, his sword stopped just a hairs width away from Yoshi's face. A few strands of hair fell from Yoshi's head, landing in a nice neat pile of black at his feet.

"Heeeeey! Sojiro, how'd you move so damn fast and WHY did you CUT my HAIR? Of all things! You couldn't have cut my arm or leg, it just _had_ to be my hair," Yoshi griped, shaking his head angrily. Sojiro shrugged apologetically, returning to his position.

"Are you ready Yoshi? Hold out your sword. I'll hit that instead of you," Sojiro said.

"And my hair!" he yelled back, positioning himself for a block. Sojiro just smiled and nodded at him. For a swordsman, Yoshi certainly had more on his mind than staying alive. Half of his brain was dedicated to women and the other half was split between survival and looks. It was strange to think such a vain man could actually be a captain of a police squad, albeit the most untrained. Sojiro nodded to Yoshi, agreeing to leaving the poor hair alone on this attack.

_Does dying really make you that happy?_

Sojiro concentrated, tapping his foot lightly on the ground. Yoshi watched his younger affiliate closely, trying to absorb everything he did.

_But are you sure you'll be able to connect it with your soul so confused?_

Sojiro switched feet.

_You're frustrating Mr.Himura. The very fact that you're standing here frustrates me._

He was advancing quickly to Yoshi, the man's figure blurring slightly. There was a familiar feeling in his stomach. A clenching feeling that seized his body and tied it into tight little knots.

_Kiddo…._

Yumi… Shishio tricked you too…

_Are you crying?_

_No sir._

Sojiro's blade crashed down on Yoshi's with amazing force. The blades stuck and buckled for a moment. "Sojiro!" Yoshi yelled, noticing the expression Sojiro was wearing. In that instant, the sword Yoshi held snapped like a twig in two.

In reality… 

Sojiro pulled up on his sword just milliseconds before the sharp blade could bite into Yoshi's shoulder.

In reality, I was crying… 

Yoshi stared at Sojiro, his eyes wide in fright and shock. The hilt of his broken sword hung loosely in his twitching fingers and his blade had fallen a short distance to the right of him. Yasue watched from her little shelter, a quivering hand covering an equally trembling mouth. Had Sojiro almost _killed_ Yoshi?

"Hey… um, you okay?" he asked, looking at his remaining bit of what was once a sword and casting it off to the side. Sojiro stared at him like Yoshi had acquired another head, cold sweat dripping down his pale forehead. He had been ready to kill Yoshi. He had been ready to slaughter one of his companions. When he had been drawing his sword to attack, he had seen so many horrible faces: Shishio, all of his family, Senkaku… and then Kenshin yelled his name and he froze…

Sojiro blinked his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. Yoshi was in front of him looking rather concerned. Had he said something? Sojiro dropped his sword, his body teetering from side to side.

"Sojiro? Hey kid, are you feeling all right? If the attack takes that much out of you then you shouldn't have done it. I didn't need to see it that bad." Yoshi shook his head, reaching out in case Sojiro swayed too hard.

"No, it wasn't the attack Yoshi. It's the…mem-" he stopped, closing his eyes.

"You okay kid?" Yoshi asked again, stepping foreword.

"Yoshi, I lied to him. When he… asked… I said no… but I … but I was… I… was…" Sojiro fell foreword into Yoshi's arm, passed out. Yasue finally stumbled out from her small hiding place, running as fast as her kimono permitted to them.

"Sojiro! What happened? What did you do to him?" she screamed, looking at Yoshi excitedly.

"What did _I_ do? I almost got _killed_ is what I did. I don't know what the kid did to _himself_ if that's what you meant to ask me," Yoshi snarled. Yasue shrank away from him and nodded. The swordsman bit his lip and swung Sojiro's arm around his neck, his hand holding onto Sojiro's wrist. His other arm was used to grip Sojiro around the torso. For a strong fighter, he had absolutely no weight. "Where do we put him?"

"At the Onkoshi. There's a room in the back for him where he can rest," Yasue said, standing off to the side of Yoshi to give him room to move, but he remained stationary.

"That's right. You're the chick at the Onkoshi. Yasue, or _Miss_ Yasue as the kid puts it," Yoshi laughed. Yasue's eye twitched slightly and she turned and punched Yoshi in the stomach as hard as she possible could, letting Sojiro slide from the crumbling Yoshi to her shoulders. Yoshi's hands left Sojiro to grip his stomach as he fell heavily to the ground.

"For a swordsman, your reaction time sucks," she spat, turning haughtily away. Yoshi stood up slowly, stretching a little to get rid of the ache in the pit of his stomach. He took a moment to breath in deeply, trying to catch his breath.

"If she wanted to carry him, she could have just asked," he wheezed before trailing after her.

* * *

Ah, now for my little note eh?

Well, this chapter sucked so much in my notebook. Thank god it wasn't the final. There was no description at all. I guess rough drafts certainly are better. Anyways, to all whom it may concern, the story is finished (in my notebooks) and the end result is somewhere's about 20+ chapters? YES! BUT! Before anyone groans and turns away, it does have a semi happy ending that hopefully will be revised since I hate it but it will still be rather light. Anyways, in regards to the next chapter.

Some romance between Yoshi and Shizokuma? Perhaps.. some romance between Sojiro and Yasue? Doubtful, but we're getting there. And what will Sojiro do when he finds out what he almost did to his friend the handsome swordsman?

On a final note, the updates will be shortly after the fifth review has been submitted. No fear though, if I don't get one, I'm not going to boycott my own story until I do. I leave it within reason, but I also believe that five reviews isn't asking much. Anyways, no doubt I'll get there. Hee hee. Thanks to all my faithful reviewers for your support, I will try and get the fifth chapter up and ready ASAP. Don't worry, I've got this under control. >: D


	5. Behind the Mask

**Erica Madarine - **Excellent! You commented at just the right time! giddy  
**Babygirl – **Oh, Sou is doing just fine. Doctors say he'll pull through about a minute into the chapter. No harm done.. not yet… bwahahaha  
**Whisper of the Wind – **Why thank you ever so much. I like it too.  
**Philia-Chan – **Thanks. Sou is fine, it's not like I'm going to kill him. How about 'poor Aikida' once in a while sheesh: )  
**EK – **AH! Waahahaha. I would shove it in your face, but you give me the most help. Heh heh. I guess… she's nothing like me. Yasue is actually my grandma's name. I love it so much that I decided to use it in the story. I don't like perfect people so I definitely wouldn't have one as my main character. Pooshaw. And I'm glad that my story is a little deeper. I'm not one for funny stories. I tend to be more dark. Plus, I'm not a very 'haha' person when it comes down to it.  
**Flamer – **Ack, it's okay. I love him too so I wouldn't kill him. All my other OC characters on the other hand…. (don't kill me though, I'm saying this even though it's probably unlikely…)  
**Anonymous Freak (x5) – **Haha, nice try fooling me. Nice to see you again too. I love reviews… so your… 'extra input' was much appreciated even if it was… verbatim. Bwahaha. And I'm very sure you are interesting. I had no doubt really. : D

**Chapter Five – Behind the Mask**

_Using a sword to protect people isn't right! That's what he says and what he does and if there were any truth in that, then he definitely would have saved me back then. _

"You know kiddo, he's not really a bad man, he just wants some competition. I think he knows you're it. I thought he said you smiled when you got hit anyway."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I smiled when no one was looking. Besides, Mr. Shishio is a lot stronger than they ever were."

"Sojiro! Toughen up kiddo! You're a great swordsman. I know you're young, but someday you'll be good enough to be his right hand man."

"What would happen to Kamatari?"

"Who cares? It's survival of the fittest Sojiro. The stronger one gets the title. Work harder."

You too Miss Yumi?

…….

Sojiro came to, but kept his eyes closed. The feeling of the cold clothe running gently over his forehead felt so refreshing and made the slight headache he had dissipate. But suddenly the memory came flooding back to him and he tried sitting up, finally opening his eyes.

"Miss Yasue?" he asked quietly, gazing at her worried green eyes with concern. She pushed him back down, her hands placed firmly on his thin shoulders. "What are you doing?" Sojiro inquired, looking around the small room he was in. She didn't answer, just wrung the cloth and folded it back up, once again returning it to his forehead. Her mouth remained closed without even a small indication that it would open anytime soon. "I don't think I'm sick Miss Yasue," he laughed lightly, but he stopped abruptly when Yasue's tired gaze turned to him.

"You were, I mean you had a slight fever at one point. I wanted to make sure it didn't get any higher." Her voice was softer than a whisper and her eyes narrowed as she remembered how badly he had looked when he was first laid in the bed. He had started sweating, his body hot and rigid while his skin seemed to pale. His facial features had become so light everything just seemed to blend together. Her stomach turned at the memory and she quickly rang the washcloth again, trying to dispel the picture in her mind. A bell rang in the front of the shop, stopping her thoughts from continuing any further. Slowly, she pushed herself up and began walking towards the door. For some reason, even surprising to Sojiro himself, he sat up quickly and latched onto her soft red kimono. "Are you hungry?" she asked, turning her head to the side and concentrating her gaze on the ground.

Sojiro just nodded and let go of her clothes, smiling. She turned to walk away again, but Sojiro found himself leaning foreword and tugging on her kimono yet again. When she turned to look at him and their eyes connected, Sojiro's smile turned a bit sheepish and he began to think of something to say to excuse him from being so silly. "Err… I apologize for being such a burden to you Miss Yasue," he said, his fingers loosening themselves from the smooth fabric. She nodded a quick distracted nod before continuing towards the front. She just had to leave for a minute, get a break, a chance to think. "Oh and Miss Yasue? Where is Yoshi? The man I was with?"

"He left."

"Left?"

"Yes. I told him to leave. He was being… rude," she finished, finally leaving the room. Rude? No no, that was an understatement. He had flirted her up and down is what he had done. Though if she didn't have someone else on her mind she would have appreciated his attempts.

When she finally reached the front of the store, the customer was leaning over the counter, trying to peer behind to wall. "Sorry about the wait sir," Yasue mumbled, selling them their goods and waving goodbye. She had been so distracted all day that some of her customers had even offered to take her to the doctor down the street for a small check up. He touched her forehead quickly, making sure it wasn't _she_ with the fever. She busied herself with getting his food ready, trying her hardest to prepare something he probably wouldn't compliment anyway. She sighed. Well, she _had_ been warned.

Yasue slid back into the room, carrying a small tray of steaming food. She shut the door and turned around, scanning the room for Sojiro whom she found had migrated over to the window. He was glaring outside, his eyes cold and hard and his expression stone-like. She noticed his foot tapped like it had right before his attack. They quickly swtiched, but instead of disappearing, he just slumped at the window and began the whole process over again. "Sojiro? Your food is ready if you would like to come eat." He put his foot down and slowly turned around, the disgruntled expression from before suddenly expunged and replaced with that happy smile he always wore with such ease.

"Why thank you Miss Yasue. Will you be joining me?" he asked cheerfully, walking over to her. His emotions changed so quickly it was hard to tell whether he actually ever was upset or happy. It was hard to tell if he was blithe even when he smiled. Yasue frowned slightly, trying not to confuse herself. Now would not be a good time for that. "This is a lot of food Miss Yasue," he remarked, eyeing the food a little nervously. Yasue bit her lip, realizing she had gone a little overboard, but she was too distracted to really think portions at the moment. After a moment, Sojiro shifted and his smile faltered slightly, but he managed to make it unnoticeable to the girl in front of his. He realized she probably wouldn't have noticed even if she had been looking. Not that he was one to judge, but he felt something was wrong with her this morning. She seemed more stressed than when the men had attacked the night before. "Will you?"

"What?"

"Be joining me?" Sojiro repeated. "We can share this. I don't think I could eat it all though it looks delicious."

I got these delicious pastries.

Yasue almost stopped breathing, not sure if she had heard right. "What did you say?" she asked, her voice tight. For a moment, Sojiro thought he might have insulted her somehow.

"That… we can share this?"

"No, after that what did you say?"

"That the food looked delicious?"

"Oh… I thought that was what you said. Certainly, I'll get some chopsticks." Yasue left the room quickly, trying to hide the grin on her face. Once she had successfully hid herself in the hallway, she did a small dance for victory. She realized something as simple as a compliment on the _look_ of food shouldn't make her this happy, but it did and what harm was there in it anyway? She quickly grabbed the chopsticks and returned to the room. Sojiro once again appeared to be missing, but she found him by the window, the same expression he had worn earlier on his juvenile face; that accusing hateful look like something out there had done him wrong. His foot was the only thing that moved and even that was barely noticeable. Yasue cleared her throat to get his attention, sitting down at the table and smiling at him. Sojiro turned and joined her.

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly were you and Yoshi doing in the alleyways?" she asked quietly, trying not to sound too imposing. She took what people said to heart, especially if it sounded logical. Or at least anything having to do with her.

Sojiro almost choked on his food, covering his mouth as he coughed. He finally swallowed, looking at Yasue to see if she seriously wanted an answer only to find her cat like eyes staring at him intently, waiting. For a moment, he tried talking, his garbled words incoherent, but he stopped and took a breath before starting again. "Oh, Yoshi and I were only practicing a little swordplay," he said nonchalantly, taking another bite of a small unagi roll.

"Then why did you almost kill him with your last attack?" she asked. Sojiro choked again, trying to swallow his food. He looked at her questioningly, still trying to clear his throat. "I was there, I saw what you did to Yoshi. He told me your face was… different."

"Different?"

"Yoshi said you were angry, a completely different person. You just weren't yourself. That's what Yoshi said. You almost killed him. If Yoshi hadn't yelled out your name then your blade would have cut him in half in a second," she whispered, her small white hands clutching her kimono. Sojiro just smiled his usual smile.

"It was just an accident. I slipped and couldn't get back up. It was an accident," he reassured her, or more himself. Yasue nodded, deciding that pressing the subject anymore would be invading. They ate in silence for the rest of the meal, Sojiro always smiling. Yasue got lost in her thoughts again. For some reason, slipping just didn't seem like the truth. Yoshi said he had been angry and it's not like there was much to slip on. Sojiro was lying to her, but she didn't know if she cared or wanted to actually know what the truth _was_. What if he had almost killed Yoshi? What excuse could he have for that?

Finally, Sojiro left, promising to come back later to make sure she was fine. She watched him leave, suddenly frightened by him. Of course he always seemed happy, but things showed otherwise. His little gay demeanor was just a farce. It was noticeable that he was troubled, at least to her, but she couldn't figure out what it was. It wasn't something normal like he was being stalked or threatened, it was something else, something more complex. With a small frown, Yasue returned to the Onkoshi, trying to busy herself enough to keep the thoughts away.

….

Sojiro paused outside of Shizokuma's restaurant. Miss Yasue had looked nice today, pretty even. With a small sigh, Sojiro made his way into the small wooden structure, surprised at how nosy it was. Her hair had looked so smooth and the way she had worn it this morning looked… different. Like someone he knew perhaps. But he couldn't remember who.

Perhaps some part of you does not want to live at the expense of others…

Those sharp hazel eyes of hers. They studied him so ardently… it reminded him of Usui when he looked into the souls of his people. It was a strange feeling, like he was being revealed and he didn't like it much to say the least. He didn't want to feel like he was being discovered, found out.

And her delicate little porcelain hands, even something as simple as they seemed to attract his attention. Their movements were always so planned, so graceful. He enjoyed watching them, but even so, they frightened him.

Shizokuma sat at a table with Yoshi, laughing and leaning foreword as she usually did. Sojiro took a spot off to the side of the entrance, waiting patiently for Yoshi to notice him before actually moving. When he did, he advanced towards the table, his expression serious, but still unhindered. Shizokuma stood up and smiled at Yoshi coyly, winking slightly. "I'll stop by before you close up okay Shizokuma?" Yoshi laughed. She giggled, an annoying little rumble, and nodded.

"I told you kiddo," and she walked away.

"What happened Yoshi? What did I do?" Sojiro demanded, taking a quite seat and getting right to business. For a moment, they both scrutinized each other. Yoshi for believing the other to be homocidal, and Sojiro for Yoshi being rude to Yasue, for there was only one way Yoshi could be rude.

"You want to know everything, kid?" Yoshi clarified, sighing when Sojiro nodded. "Okay then. We were sparring in the back alleys, well, you were showing me some of your attacks or the one I should say. You were damn fast by the way. Anyway, when you attacked me you hit way to hard and wouldn't let up. Then I yelled your name and you pulled back. You looked possessed by a demon or something. Your eyes were all dark and you were extremely intense. I've never seen you like that. When you pulled back, you suddenly got weak. I thought it might have been the attack, but when I asked you said it was something else."

"What was it?" Sojiro asked earnestly. Yoshi just shrugged.

"Hell if I know. You never finished your sentence. Then you dropped your sword and started swaying with your eyes closed. But you said something strange."

"What did I say?"

"You said something about lying to someone when they asked you something. I don't know what you meant by it. You didn't finished your sentence, but you were about to spill whatever the truth was." Yoshi stopped, noticing the strange look on Sojiro's face. "Then you fainted and your girlfriend came out and socked me in the stomach for calling her a chick," he muttered.

"Was it Miss Yasue?"

"Why you got more? Oh hey, thanks for introducing me to Shizokuma. She certainly is a woman," Yoshi laughed, winking at him. Sojiro tried not to grimace.

"You do know she's about ten years older than you are, right?" Sojiro said, chuckling a little at how enthusiastic they both seemed about this.

"What does it matter? Older women have more experience and know how to do the job better. I'd choose Shizokuma over Yasue any day," Yoshi said, grinning. For some reason, this made Sojiro feel slightly relieved. "I bet you're glad to hear that. I could swipe that chick right out from under you nose before you could even call her name kid. I wouldn't though. Why? Cause' I like you. You're a good addition to the group." Yoshi gave a conclusive nod and stood up.

Sojiro just nodded. Miss Yasue seemed too proud to fall for some cheap flattery even if it did come from Yoshi, the handsome swordsman. Most thought he had taken up the sword as some kind of bravado, but he had been serious. The only people who knew how horrible he was at it were Sojiro and the captain.

Yoshi stretched a little and yawned. "I'm gonna go I guess. I'll come get ya if there's a meeting," he said, walking to Shizokuma and planting a rough kiss on her before walking out the door with a slight whistle. Sojiro stood too and left.

There was so much to think about his head seemed to be spinning. Miss Yasue… he had known her for about three months now. She had been opening her shop and had asked him to help when he had walked by. She was as kind and energetic as she was now, time hadn't changed her. But he sensed there was something a bit different in the way she looked around. He had gone to see her every night just to see how she was fairing, but with his affiliation to the new group, his night free time had been cut down immensely.

She reminded him of Yumi in a way he just couldn't explain. He felt the need to protect her and when he couldn't stop by at night, be felt nervous. The truth Shishio had taught him was everywhere and she might start believing in it if he wasn't there to stop her. Yumi had been a victim of it. She had to have retribution for her death. She was innocent, a bystander. Hoji should have died not Yumi. He owed her so much, his life, his sanity. After all the abuse he went by from all the other members, Yumi never once raised her hand to him. She even sat with him when he was defeated and told him it would be okay. She didn't yell when he said he wasn't going to stay. She encouraged him to do well, to practice. Yasue to him, was the same.

But it was different… somehow…

He had said ten years of traveling and in a month he had settled in a town and made friends. He felt he was moving too fast, passing things by, stopping before he started. There was still things he needed to see, to find out. Finding somewhere to stay now was… quitting. Sojiro walked onto the bridge, staring down at the water below him. He would find his truth eventually and move on like he was supposed to. He would find what he was looking for: the answer to the Rurouni's words.

His truth…

_The rest of the stuff he's got to figure out on his own…_

_

* * *

_

**Author's note:** This chapter was really just... a little look into Sojiro really. Even Yasue too. It didn't really advance much towards the plot... by the way, there is two plots. One that ends pretty much right after I introduce it and the other that is kinda hidden throughout the story. Anyways, look for clues I guess.

**Preview of Next Chapter:** Bloody hands, bloody legs..., a sleepover? Beware the long chapters! Plus, a little romance eh? Perhaps...


	6. For Her Own Good

**Chikky-chan – **Heh, will try not to miss.

**Yahoo! – **They became an item when Sojiro wasn't looking ; and Sou is fine, I wouldn't do much to him anyways. And yes… this is rated M, but I will give a heads up for bad chapters if it makes you feel any better. Not much I can do to change the material now that the story is done on paper (but not on the navi I'm afraid.)

**Babygirl – **AH! I update now dances around . He will be alright… bwahahaha, for now.

**Genki Ninjagirl – **Sou-chan is very very confused. Heh, and he will continue to be. But it must be that way for him.

**EK – **Yes, I like that fact too, the fact that people aren't getting afraid. I tried to keep it that way since they don't really know who he is since the Juppongatana weren't all about the popularity contests and such. He's supposed to just be a stranger in a town with a few friends. And the weird people who review are the highlights of my day, haha. And yes, you really have been of service to me.

**Cathy Mark** – Thanks, that's an excellent compliment to me. I will try to write more and with the summer coming up, I'll have much more time to type up my chapters for the enjoyment of you and others.

**Some Slut – **Four chapters away my sweet. And um… interesting name you've got. Unfortunately, if you're looking for something hardcore, I'm more fluffy. Plus, them being my first lemons, they are… well, pretty vague when it comes to details.

**Philia-chan – **Why thank you!… I don't remember what it was on….oye, now I do. Heh, yeah.

**Smiling Blue-clad Wanderer's Obsessor – **Sou is going to… it's a surprise! And you are one lucky person to have a Sou-like boyfriend. envy

**Chapter Six – For Her Own Good**

To think someone could prove something in such a short time and keep his vow not to kill at the same time…

_"I was so afraid you wouldn't get up."_

Sojiro stepped away slowly from the bridges edge, looking up at the black, golden specked sky. How long had he been there? Last time he remembered the sun was in the sky, shining down its warmth on him, but now the moon was in it's place, it's pale light reflecting in the water below and the deserted streets. When had it gotten so dark out? Sojiro turned quickly and walked to the Onkoshi, thinking he might find an answer there or something.

"I hope Miss Yasue hasn't closed up shop yet. I did promise her I would show up tonight to see how she was doing," he mumbled to himself, suddenly worried, but something stopped him in his tracks. His hands… they were cut up, but not badly. The blood from his injuries slid down to his fingers, drying at the tip into a petrified droplet. It was dark even in the bright moonlight, crusted and crimson blood. When did this happen? How did it happen? He stretched his fingers out, watching the thin trails of red break up and crack. Slowly, he reached down to his sword and lifted it from its sheath, looking at the blade. Yes, he thought, I must have done it… and he broke into a sprint for the Onkoshi, fear seizing his heart in a cold and constricting grip.

How did I cut myself without me realizing it? Had I stood at the bridge all day and not remembered it?

Sojiro stopped, his eyes widening in surprise. "Miss Yasue…" he whispered, stepping into the ransacked store. At least she hadn't closed up yet… He stumbled across baskets and spilled food, falling a couple times as he tried desperately to navigate through the labyrinth of obstacles. "Miss Yasue?" he called, grabbing onto the front counter and stepping towards the back room. Behind him, something opened and he turned just in time to see Yasue flying at him. Her shaking hands grasped his light blue gi and her weight knocked him back onto the ground, practically striking the air right out of him. Her tears soaked him in an instant.

"They came again, cutting everything up and yelling. I managed to hide. I didn't want to come out until you got here. I was so scared. I cut my leg! LOOK! It's bleeding. Right through my good kimono. It stands out so much and it's red on red. I would have gotten bandaged for it but I didn't know if they were where they were supposed to be and I was scared they would come back and see me looking and, oh Sojiro! I'm so glad you came," she wailed, hugging him even tighter. Sojiro stiffened, pushing her away from him in unease. She sat in front of him and he reached foreword, tucking up the flap as far as he could so he would be able to get a good look at her wound.

"I'm sorry about this Miss Yasue," he said, smiling sadly. Yasue nodded, vaguely aware that her kimono was… well, exposing. She was too focused on his smile to notice. It was haunting, yet mesmerizing. One of those things that you loved to look at and yet you'd be scared shitless by it. Her eyes slowly shifted down to what Sojiro was looking at, her wound. The wound had started on her upper thigh when she was crawling into the cabinet and when she spun around to sit and close the doors; the cut had spun as well. It ended by her knee. "Where are the bandages?" Sojiro asked, standing up. Yasue looked around, hoping to spot them herself.

"They should be somewhere over there by the baskets, but everything was thrown around so I'm not sure," she responded sheepishly, lifting up half of a basket and letting it fall from her hands in defeat. My shop is ruined, her heart cried, ruined, ruined, ruined. How defenseless was she? She knew how to defend herself, she could have done something, but the instant she felt trouble, she ran and hid in the cupboard. "I'm sorry about all this." Sojiro returned, shrugging his shoulders slightly as he sat and began wrapping her leg. "Sojiro…?"

Yasue's hands flew out and grasped Sojiro's, flipping them over to reveal his own wounds. Sojiro pulled them back slowly, hiding them in his gi. It wasn't time for him to be worried over. Besides, his wounds were negligible; his greatest concern right now was getting Yasue home before anything else happened.

"It's just a little cut Miss Yasue, nothing to worry yourself about. Besides, the bleedings already stopped so there's no use in dressing them up now," he said, standing up. "Can you walk or does it hurt?" He held out his hand to her, which she grabbed immediately and stood like a flamingo on her one good leg.

"It hurts," she said bluntly, blushing slightly. Sojiro laughed at her, grabbing her shoulder as her balance started to give.

"Nothing to be ashamed of. Here, I'll carry you home," he said, reaching out for her again. Yasue's face almost glowed red as she grabbing his hand and climbed onto his back, her arms wrapped tightly around Sojiro's neck as he made his way clumsily out of the wrecked store. "You're not hurt anywhere else are you? Your leg was your only injury, correct?"

_If you're strong you live…_

"No, I'm not hurt anywhere else. I feel silly, getting caught like that."

_If you're weak you die…_

"You weren't _… worried_ were you?"

_I wasn't wrong for what I did back then…_

"I was a little, but I still thought you were alive of course. You're a good enough fighter right?" Sojiro smiled benevolently at her. Yasue didn't respond, just frowned and let her head sink farther into Sojiro's shoulder as her eyes slowly closed in exhaustion.

……

Yasue opened her eyes slowly and rolled over, groaning quietly. Her leg was throbbing something fierce and her head hurt. She sat up quickly and pulled the flipped the covers off, examining the bandages that had been applied the day previous. "Sojiro…" she mumbled. Sighing, she looked around, spotting the torn red kimono that had once been her favorite in the corner. With a poignant pang of fear, she stared down at her own body that was now covered in her cream colored sleeping yukata and Sojiro's gi.

Yasue burst out into the cold, limping down towards Sojiro's previous room and slowly opening the door, just hoping he was there. The young boy was sleeping soundly on the futon, rolled onto his stomach with his soft-featured face down into the soft covers.

She crept silently into the room, careful not to wake him as she knelt by him, a small smile on her lips. He didn't look her age at all. In fact, he seemed much younger. Yasue closed her eyes, taking deep steadying breaths. Every time she got close to him he pushed her away and concealed himself in that façade of happiness and normalcy. There was a storm brewing inside of him that he kept well hidden, almost completely concealed, but she had noticed it the first day he had drifted by the Onkoshi and helped her unpack her things. She had developed strong feelings for him then, just in that small act of neighborly help had triggered the start of a rather strange attraction. Yasue grabbed one of his small hands and turned it gingerly, looking at the neglected wounds from the night before.

They hadn't been cleaned, but she could see that in the cuts were small splinters. If she didn't take of them soon, they might get infected and become a problem for him. It would be best if they were tended too even if Sojiro claimed they were negligible. She got up quietly and left the room, getting some bandages and water. She also got a small sewing needle for the splinters before returning back to his room.

He still wasn't up which struck Yasue as odd, considering before he had left at the crack of dawn and here he was sleeping right through it. Nonetheless, she set her things down and once again grabbed his delicate hand and turned it over again, dipping her clothe into the water and placing it on his hand.

No sooner had the cold clothe touched his hand that Sojiro's eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright, moving from stomach to feet in less than a second. Yasue stared at him, surprised by his flash of movement. She swallowed, trying to make herself speak through her shock. "I was taking care of your hand for you so it didn't get infected," she murmured. He was smiling again; that same smile that both thrilled her and chilled her at the same time and to be thrilled and chilled simultaneously is a strange feeling indeed.

"Oh? Why, thank you Miss Yasue. I certainly wouldn't want that to happen now would I?" he laughed lightly. Yasue nodded slowly, dabbing the cloth at his hands again, frowning when the tip began to turn a bright red. He winced slightly, but remained smiling.

_What the hell are you smiling for?_

Yasue washed his hand off again, getting any remainder dirt or debris out from his scratches. Then she took a moment to dry his hand with the cloth and wrapped it tightly. Sojiro flexed his hand for a while and smiled at her. "Thank you Miss Yasue. They feel much better now," he said, standing up. She jumped up too, wringing her hands against her stomach nervously.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you cut them in the first place?" she asked quietly, looking at the ground instead of his haunting smile. She had often been told that delving too far into a warriors wound was degrading to them, but to get cuts from a sword and splinters from wood in one area seemed strange.

"I don't remember," Sojiro said simply, shrugging the question away like a bad thought. Yasue looked at him, realizing she had given his blue gi back to him yet. All he wore was his gray button up shirt. For being a swordsman, he looked too young and frail to be of any good. He was about as thin as they came, showing no signs of even a little muscle. Even his demeanor showed no signs of hardness that most warriors acquired from seeing the blood from their own victims. He always smiled, even if they were hollow, it was a smile and always present. That's why Mikazu had absolutely no hesitancy about completely ignoring him when he attacked the Onkoshi for the first time.

"Um, thanks for letting me borrow this. It kept me warm last night while I was sleeping," she said, stripping out of the gi and pulling her yukata closed even more. Sojiro nodded and smiled, taking it into his hand and pulling it towards him. "I'll make us something to eat now I guess," she said, bowing to his. Sojiro chuckled slightly, bowing back at her in amusement.

"You don't have to bow to me Miss Yasue." She stared at him for a moment before moving slowly towards the door. Once she left, Sojiro put on his gi, stopping after only putting in one arm through and pulling it back off. He stared at it a moment in confusion before bringing it to his face and smelling it quickly. He frowned and smelled it again, a deeper intake. He was right, he smelled the faint aroma of Sakura blossoms. This must be what Miss Yasue smells like, he thought, pulling the gi on all the way and smiling to himself. She smells good.

He walked outside to see Yasue staring at the sky. It was snowing out, the soft white flakes falling on her pale face and melting into a small trickle of water. Sojiro walked up and plopped a hand on her shoulder, startling her. He smiled at her and retracted his hand, clearing his throat of the unease that had curled up into it. "You should go change Miss Yasue. A thin yukata isn't enough to protect you from the cold I'm afraid."

She nodded, dipping her head slightly before remembering not to bow to him and walked away. He watched her go with interest, watching as her long pale legs extended towards to house, how her arms curled up to her chest and then back down to her sides in agitation and need for movement. Her long black hair licked the waistline of her yukata and swayed back and fourth, silken strands of night. He smelled the blossoms again and grinned inwardly. His hands were feeling much better now and it seemed Miss Yasue's leg was too, though she still limped heavily on it. Last night when he had been putting her to bed, she had gone Rigor Mortis on his gi, so he had to take it off, but as soon as the clothing was off of his body, her fingers loosened. It was then that her green eyes had opened and focused on him, still clouded by fatigue. "I'm cold," she had said, curling into a tiny ball and shivering. He had offered her his gi, holding it out to her, but she had already returned to her slumber. Sojiro lifted her up off the floor, shaking her slightly.

"You should get ready for sleep Miss Yasue. You shouldn't sleep in your kimono," he had said. She obliged; not waiting for Sojiro to leave before she began undressing, so he just turned and covered his eyes with his hands until her heard her climb back into her bed.

"Cold…" she whined, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them. Sojiro offered her his gi again, holding it out like a small child offering a flower to an older girl. She nodded in her sleep, but didn't wake up to put it on and in the end he pulled her up and dressed her himself, trying to balance her limp body in front of him while trying to stick her arms through the sleeves. He managed to get the last sleeve on when she fell foreword, resting her head on his chest. Before he even had a chance to move his arms to push her back, her soft body was cuddling into him and her hands were gripping onto his one remaining shirt.

For a moment Sojiro found himself too stunned to move. This was the first time a girl had ever been this close to him and he found that the feeling of her wasn't exactly unwelcome. But it was still wrong, he knew that much. He remembered seeing Yumi doing this to Shishio on occasion, when it was only the three of them in the room and Sojiro was busy spinning a top on the floor or entertaining himself in some other way, he would catch them doing this. Sometimes Shishio returned it, wrapping his scarred burnt arms around her, but mostly he just sat back and let Yumi do all the touching while he merely closed his eyes and pretending to go to sleep in her warmth. Yumi loved Shishio, but it wasn't the same between Yasue and him. He pushed her back, pulling her hands off of his shirt and setting her back down into the bed, careful to arrange her leg so it was straight.

_Nobody helped me back then. Back then, you didn't protect me…_

"I can protect you now and that's all that matters," he whispered to himself and then he left the room, as silently as possible. He had been defenseless back then, only a sword he didn't know how to use could have protected him. Miss Yasue was in the same situation, defenseless and in trouble, but he wasn't going to let her fend for herself if he was able to help. If he could prevent Miss Yasue from going through what he did, he could die knowing he saved at least one persons life. The fear he felt back then shouldn't recur. She shouldn't have to run through the streets in hopes that someone would be there, in hopes someone would hear her desperate cries for help. No, as long as he could he would do his best to keep her safe. For Yumi, he supposed.

Yasue snapped the shoji shut, looking for Sojiro who now stood in the same position she had been in minutes before, but he was smiling. Yasue took a careful step foreword, peering at his face. Yes, she had been right. There _was_ emotion in it. She couldn't pinpoint which one exactly, but it definitely wasn't one of his hollow smiles. She walked slowly towards him, mesmerized by him, but he turned to her and the feeling was lost, gone. She veered off to the side, returning to her cooking that she had started before. Sojiro noticed the strangeness in her movements, but didn't ask and turned his face back into the cold air and faced the snow.

"It's cold out today," he whispered, his hands slowly reaching for his sword. His head turned to the side to study Yasue as she prepared the food. She hadn't heard him as he figured she wouldn't. "It's cold … like that day." He drew his sword out silently, like Shishio had taught him, holding it out in front of him with one hand holding the hilt. His eyes glazed over and his thin smile dropped into a much more frightening look of nostalgia.

……..

"There you are Sojiro."

"What a nice wakizashi. Looks expensive."

"Give it here boy and I'll kill you quickly. It will be my goodbye present to you."

Sojiro drew the sword from its sheath and stuck it straight through the man's thin throat, frowning when the man's high-pitched and pitiful cry of death pierced the night's silence. He could hear murmuring from out _there_ and he knew it was the rest of them, waiting for him to come out, for his dead body to emerge in the hands of their brother and son. It wouldn't happen. Sojiro dragged the limp man all the way to the opening in the ground, throwing him out with the strength a young boy shouldn't have and let them peer at the dead man in horror, shock, dread. Sojiro killed the rest of them without mercy, relishing their screams of pain as he slashed them, giving them the mercy they gave him: none. Their lives dripped onto the muddy ground and the rain started to come down in torrents, fat drops splashing on him and drenching in seconds. Slowly, tears mixed with the rain and blood and ran down his small juvenile face.

……..

"Sojiro? What are you doing?" Yasue asked, jumping up quickly and grabbing his hand in hers. He had gripped the blade with his one free hand and cut himself again, right through the new bandages. She took the sword from him and threw it on the ground like it was a snake ready to bite, glaring at it shortly before returning to Sojiro who still hadn't quite snapped out of his daze. He still gazed at the sky, his eyes gray and his expression… unexplainable. "Sojiro! Your hand is cut again," she said, turning it over in hers to look at the damage. Japanese blades were sharp, they could cut through bone on a slice and he had just about amputated his own hand. She cast a weary glance at the food before pulling him towards the house and dragging him inside, noticing the color had come back into his eyes. She grabbed more bandages and returned to the room, sitting in front of him. "You scared me," she mumbled. He didn't respond, just bowed his head and closed his eyes like he was asleep.

She reached out for him, her palm resting on his cold damp cheek. For a moment he didn't respond, didn't move, and then his eyes opened and he turned towards her touch. There was pity in his eyes as he grabbed her hand and took it away from his face, like the feelings she felt shouldn't be wasted on someone like him, and he stared at her hand in front of him. They were so clean, so white, he shouldn't touch them and they shouldn't touch him. Sojiro continued staring at them, a confused look on his face. Then he folded her fingers into her palm and returned her hand to her, shaking his head.

"No, no Miss Yasue. It is not right," he said simply, his small smile so very small it was barely there at all. He had gotten his blood on her soft white hands. No, not his blood, others blood, the blood of those he had killed.

She grabbed his hand and wrapped it quickly, holding onto it after, not letting go. "It's right to me Sojiro," she whispered, kissing his hand lightly. He pulled it back from her lips and bowed his head again. "Why is it so wrong? What is wrong with it?" she inquired, trying to think of a reason herself. They were the same age and she wasn't cheating on anyone by being with him. Was he already seeing someone?

"I have been bathed in blood and you have not been soiled with it. I cannot stain you. It would be wrong." His voice was quiet, strained. Shishio should have done the same thing and saved Miss Yumi. She wouldn't be dead if he had done the same thing. Yasue felt her throat closing up and she fell into his, burying her face into Sojiro's gi and wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Then I will stain myself with the blood that you yourself have washed in. I will do it not you. You might not stain me, but I can stain myself," she pleaded. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Please Sojiro. I'm not as pure as you think I am." She felt a tear dripping down her cheek and she wiped it on his gi before looking up at him. He looked down at her, apologetic.

"I'm sorry Miss Yasue, but I will not. I cannot."

He wanted her to kiss him, to hug and comfort him and he wanted to do the same to her, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it. She began to cry, short quiet sobs that soaked into his gi and were muffled by it. Sojiro opened his eyes and looked at her frowning. This was sadness. Now that he had opened the door, he couldn't close it and all the feelings he had locked away came flooding through, overwhelming him. He resisted the urge to run a hand through her silky black hair.

Finally he couldn't take it anymore and he pushed her back up gently, standing up and leaving the room. The food she had prepared sat idly on the wooden floor outside and he grabbed it and brought it back into her. He sat it down in front of her and grabbed a blanket. She was trembling and her whole body shook. He couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from her crying, but he was betting on the latter.

He wrapped it around her small frame and smiled, kneeling down beside her. It was unlike him to feel the need to comfort someone, but it was unlike him to feel anything at all. Sojiro fought mentally with himself, frowning at the floor as he did so. He couldn't hold her after all he had said, but he couldn't just let her sit there and cry. Many times he lifted his hand to touch her only to have it fall back to his uselessly. How he wanted to hold her face and tell her he did care for her, but he couldn't. Three months since he had first arrived and met her at her shop and every night after the first he had been happy to go and see her. He had probably egged her on, made her think he did indeed have feelings for her. Did he really think that going to see her wouldn't eventually bring this about? If he had wanted to prevent this, he would have said goodbye and left it at that.

Sojiro finished his food and stood up. "Miss Yasue, I have to go to Miss Shizokuma's. Would you like to come with me?" he asked. His tone reminded him of his old self, the person that never felt. He longed to be able to revert back. These emotions were too strong and constant. He stomach was being flipped, beaten, shrunken, knotted, or strangled every minute of every day. He wanted to go back to not feeling it. Even if it meant loosing his feelings for Yasue, what small ones there were. They only brought her pain anyway.

Yasue stared at the floor, hoping that maybe if she just didn't talk that he would leave, but he waited.

I'm such a hypocrite, Sojiro thought, still smiling. If he didn't want her to love him he should just leave and continue wandering like he was supposed to. But he couldn't. If he did then he might as well hand her over to the Gundashi and give them his sword. He had to protect her now until they finally moved on or he killed them, whichever came first.

"Miss Yasue? Are you going to come with me?" he asked again. She stood up slowly, allowing the blanket to fall from her smooth shoulders. She had worn a dark blue kimono today. It made her look paler, but it was beautiful on her. He walked out into the snow that now had covered the ground in a soft powdery blanket. They walked to Shizokuma's, not saying anything to each other. The awkward air between them was thick as both tried to restrain themselves from touching the other, thinking it was what was wanted. When they arrived, Yoshi was sitting at the table reading the news. "Yoshi?" Sojiro called, coming to sit with him. Yoshi's eyes widened at Sojiro's voice.

"Sojiro! Did you hear about what happened at the Onkoshi? It's been destroyed. What happened to Yasue do you know?" he yelled, not looking up from the paper. Sojiro sat down with a smile, almost finding it amusing that he could sound so worried and still not make eye contact.

"She's here. She came with me," Sojiro laughed. Yoshi looked up and frowned, seeing Yasue's forlorn face. She sat down next to Sojiro, her movements sluggish, clasping her hands together and staring at the tabletop.

"It's probably good she came with you. The news pertains to her and you. We've gotten news about the Gundashi. They're here looking for something whatever it is, she's got it. I don't know whether you're aware of it or not, but if they don't get it soon, they're going to kill you and Sojiro if they get the chance," Yoshi said, peering at Yasue's face for some kind of reaction: fear, anxiety, or even a farce that she was one of those, but nothing was showing, nothing at all. She merely blinked, looking out the window. "Eh, you sure she's okay?" Yoshi asked.

"I'm sure if there is something wrong there's nothing you can do about it. How do they relate to me Yoshi?"

"You got in the way and are _protecting _her," Yoshi snickered, winking at Sojiro. "Anyway, the Gundashi didn't really like the way you handled them so easily and they've made a vow to put you out of your misery." Yoshi shrugged slightly, figuring that was pretty much impossible. Sojiro may look young and weak, but he was the exact opposite. He was mature and skilled as anything. Defeating him wouldn't be easy at all.

"Is that so? How interesting," Sojiro said, equally apathetic to the threat. Yasue blinked again, looking at him through the corner of her eye. Sojiro didn't seem to notice or if he did he didn't let on that he did. Yoshi did though and he felt the tension between the two of them. Poignant and sharp. He didn't feel like getting in the way of it. "Is that all Yoshi?" Sojiro asked.

Yoshi paused a moment, leaning foreword on the table. "The Gundashi are a group of elite ninjas and sword fighters. They wear black and red to symbolize their evil blood and they're not afraid to wear it in public even if they're being hunted or tracked. They're pretty merciless, turning on even their own kind should the need arise. When it comes to numbers, they've got 'em high and all members are skilled." Yoshi paused again, narrowing his eyes at Sojiro. "Kid, if they came to you do you actually believe that you could protect the girl and yourself? If you don't think so, if there's even a hint of doubt in your mind, then you should leave her with the captain in the safe house," Yoshi added quietly. Sojiro just smiled.

"I can do it Yoshi. No offense, but I wouldn't leave someone with a bunch of the captain's soldiers," Sojiro chuckled, standing up. Yoshi jumped up, almost afraid they were leaving the restaurant.

"Are you leaving now?" he spluttered. "There's still so much to do."

"That's what I'm going to do now. Miss Yasue, would you like to rest here or accompany me on my errands? I don't want to put you through any trouble with your leg and all. I can only imagine how much it ails you," Sojiro asked. Yasue eyed Yoshi with a simple curiosity, or perhaps it was hatred, which reciprocated it with concern, and began to stand up with difficulty. Sojiro nodded and left. Yasue bowed to Yoshi and began to follow Sojiro, her hand pressing against her wound in an effort to stop the pain.

"Eh, Miss Yasue!" Yoshi called, running to her. "I know something happened between you and the kid. It looks like it didn't really go along in your favor so I'll say this: Sojiro is in trouble and not only with the Gundashi. Keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid to himself," Yoshi said, looking sincerely worried. Yasue decided, despite her lack of trust in him, that he was telling the truth this time.

Sojiro was outside waiting, looking up at the falling snow with that indescribable expression as he had before when she had caught him cutting himself. "I'm sorry for keeping you Sojiro," she mumbled, beginning to bow, but Sojiro touched her forehead with her fingers and pushed her back up, smiling down at her.

"No need to apologize to me Miss Yasue. Shall we go now?" Sojiro said, already beginning to walk away before she had a chance to respond. Yasue followed him, her head bowed. Make sure he doesn't hurt himself? What had Yoshi been talking about? Sojiro was in trouble… how so and how could someone like her save him? Yasue looked up at him, studying the back of his head like it would reveal something to her, some answer to her questions. How long would it be like this between them?

Sojiro spun to her, shouting something and grabbing her waist, swinging her around in the opposite direction. She grabbed onto him, closing her eyes tightly as her stomach leapt into her throat and Sojiro's arm cut into her gut. Sojiro was still holding onto her even after they had stopped moving his eyes transfixed at the location they had been moments before. She opened her eyes cautiously, half expecting to see Sojiro injured or dying, but he was simply looking the other way from her, staring at the small row of throwing stars that were stuck in the ground. She noticed one, the center one, had a small note attached.

Yasue tried counting the moments he held her in her head, but she lost count and instead just took pleasure in the time he did, bringing her hands up to her shoulders and holding him close. That's when he turned away and approached the stars, retrieving the note. The air between them was still tense and she could tell her was waiting for another attack, another storm of weaponry, but none came and he instead unfolding the note in his hands and read it silently. The small blue eyes flicked up and down as he read the small note and then he folded it and hid it in his gi, not letting Yasue get a glimpse of it. When he turned to her he was smiling.

"That was awfully close hmm?" he laughed like it was funny and held his hand out to her, which she took and nodded. Her dark blue kimono was a messed at the bottom, but she ignored it for the time being. They began to walk again, hand in hand, a light connection for safety and nothing else. They reached the bridge, their destination, and Sojiro told Yasue to wait for him while Sojiro went and talked with a rather old man.

It didn't take long for Sojiro to finish his other business and soon they were heading back to the house under the silvery light of the moon. Sojiro had been kind enough to treat her to dinner at Shizokuma's so she wouldn't have to cook when they got back to her abode. Sojiro still had her hand in his, which had confused Shizokuma immensely since she knew Sojiro wasn't the type of boy to get involved with too many people let alone a girl, but he had tightened his grip on it slightly.

It had snowed all day long, covering the last signs of fall in an inch thick coating of powder. Yasue stumbled behind him, her head swimming. She used Sojiro's hand for balance as they approached the house, the peculiar throbbing in her head getting stronger. She blinked her eyes a couple times, the black spots in her vision only giving the pain more power and making her legs weak. She stumbled over a small rock, squeezing Sojiro's hand on pushing on it to regain her balance.

Just as the small wooden house came into view, Yasue's hand slipped slowly from Sojiro's and she collapsed on the ground, holding her head in her hands and moaning. Sojiro took his time turning his body, moving in slow motion. He swayed from side to side as he did, almost waddling around in a circle until he faced her, his face unlike any she had ever seen before. It was like he was insanely happy and yet despairing at the same time. Her eyes widened as he approached her, his hand reaching for his sword which hung loosely at his side. She pushed herself away and into a tree, ignoring the pain in her leg that jolted through her body like electricity on water. He seemed confused by her movement, but kept advancing, looking like he was sinking further into the ground with every step he took.

"Miss… Yasue. Please…" he whispered. His voice quivered and she saw his hands shake as he drew his sword and pointed it at her, the point feet away from her and darting all around her head like a nervous mosquito. Sojiro didn't seem to have the strength to hold it straight. It was like his skills had regressed to the point where it looked like they suited his small thin body. "I'm so confused. It's true yet wrong. Then wrong yet true. Which do I abide by? Which do I believe?" he whispered. She cringed away as he took another step foreword, staring tearfully at the sword. It fell from his hand as he stumbled foreword, crashing down at her feet, his head bowed as he went to all floors, his small hands barely catching him before he hit the ground. "You've got to help me. I don't know what to do. Choose Miss Yasue. Just choose one!" He looked up at her; his eyes no longer crazed, but severely despaired, like he had just lost something. They were so narrow from sadness that it was almost impossible to see them until she realized they were closed, holding back the tears that she saw anyway. His head dropped again as his arms bent and let him fall into the snow by her feet.

Yasue hesitated, approaching him as Yoshi's words rang in her ears. She had to save him from himself…? If Yoshi had actually known what it was he was talking about, he must have been referring to something like this. It wasn't Sojiro who had threatened her with his steel, it had been someone else. She could see it in his eyes how another spirit had taken over, a confused and violent spirit who sought to kill to make himself feel real. Yasue had seen it in him, but now, looking at the Sojiro in front of her who grabbed at the snow with his fingers and shook and wept bitterly into it wasn't the same person.

Slowly, she picked him up and put him in her lap, his head resting lightly on her stomach as the tremors slowly passed. He didn't move for a minute and then suddenly, angrily, he sat up and picked her up into his arms, holding her tightly in his arms as his stony face peered determinedly towards the house. She was surprised at first, but soon she had tucked her head into his chest and her hands into his gi, gripping it tightly. What had he just done, or almost done? What had just happened? They entered into the bedroom, lighting the lamp. Sojiro placed her down and started fixing her bed. Yasue sat with her legs off to the side, the blood seeping through her kimono to leave a red stain on her dark blue clothe. Sojiro worked quietly, brooding, and Yasue found herself crawling over to him, across the futon he had almost set up and placing her hands on his shoulders, staring into his face and pushing on him. He fell back onto his hands, startled out of his stupor. She brushed his face lightly with her hand and pushed herself up against him, looking down at him.

"I'll end up hurting you."

"Then I'll get hurt."

"I'll only complicate your life."

"It's too plain anyway."

"I don't think we-"

"There's no reason why we shouldn't," and with that she kissed him, pushing him even farther back. He tried to lean out of it, take his lips from hers, but she followed his mouth with her own, liking his timidity. Finally, she felt him pushing back against her, back down onto the futon and placing her head on the pillow. Just as she was about to wrap her arms around his neck, he retreated, flipping the covers over her body and smiling. He gave her forehead a quick peck before standing up.

"Good night Miss Yasue," he laughed quietly, walking out and shutting the shoji quietly. Yasue sat stunned, her eyes focused on the door Sojiro had exited from. What had just happened? Outside her door, Sojiro rubbing his eyes and made his way back to his room. He had only kissed her long enough to satiate his own need and then he had pulled away. Yes, he thought, when it comes to keeping vows I'm stubborn as a mule.

He got ready for bed and slipped into a deep sleep. Mr.Shishio had said that the strong live and the weak will die. In the end that simple statement is true. If two swordsmen fight, the stronger more skilled will win and the weak will die. But the Battousai had protected those who could not fight for themselves, which is what he was doing for Yasue. Neither truth suited him. While Shishio's truth wasn't completely right but wasn't wrong, the Battousai's wasn't completely right, but wasn't completely wrong. How was he supposed to find the middle of these truths?

Yes, Miss Yumi had fallen into Shishio's trap and thrown herself to him. The same had happened with the Battousai and his woman. Could it be the same with Yasue and him? Could he be putting her in danger just by being with her? He was, but was he willing to let her go to save her? He had been dependent on company for so long. Even without talking and expressing himself, he still needed the presence of someone to make him feel comfortable. Was he able to leave Yasue after the Gundashi were done with to keep her safe? His mind chose to be redundant and kept plaguing him with the same doubts over and over.

Yasue crept out of her room, her bad leg sliding on the ground as she used the wall for support and made her way down to Sojiro's room. She had begun to think that her confession had scared him off and had gotten up to investigate. She slowly ducked into the room and crawled slowly to his bedside. She pursed her lips to keep back the sighs of pain that her leg desperately wanted to create and looking down at him.

He was breathing heavily, crumpled into a small little ball in his blankets, which were layered on top of him in folds. He wouldn't be so cold if I were in there with him, she thought, but she wasn't about to climb under the covers to prove her point. She sighed and touched his face before leaving the room. Wincing from pain, she lowered herself down the wall and looked out at the snow that drifted down from the sky. Slowly, her eyes became heavy and began to droop and she fell asleep outside Sojiro's room, the snow her blanket.

* * *

Authors note: SORRY! For this chapter being so freakin long... I was writing in my notebook and then I lost track of how many pages it was an everything and it turned into this huge freakin chapter because instead of stopping after one event I moved into another and another and so on and it turned into the longest chapter. GAH! But this was the funnest chapter to type so far (mostly because I don't remember typing the others) but once I started typing this I got addicted. Hopefully the others will go in the same way. Anyways, sorry, I had to do this twice because the chapter wasn't showing up so I apologize for the double update.

CH. 7 - The consequences for sleeping in the snow, and Sojiro is embarrassed by his inexperience wink wink.


	7. With Heat From another

**Another Baka - **smiles Thanks for reviewing!  
**Erica Madarine - **Awesome, thanks. I am very glad that I can describe him so well. And... please keep reading. Reviews give me impetus to continue and also some really good pointers too!  
**MSM-chan -**OH WOW! Thanks for those compliments Chan... I really appreciate it. And I'm going to try my best to update ASAP on all my chapters. I have the story done in my notebooks, but it's just a matter of sitting down and typing them out. Heh heh.  
**Genki Ninjagirl - **You most definately will Miss. heh heh.  
**Whisper of the Wind - **I'm... thinking you don't like Yasue very much... and I believe sleeping under the snow is possible. Come wintertime I'll try it out. : )  
**Rose Mary - **Ack, I knew it, but I got impatient. Sorry if it bothered you, but I couldn't change it since I was done so I kinda integrated that little bit into her personality. grin  
**Chibi-Flamer- **Yeah, trying to dear, but it's not quite so easy for the easily distracted to get things done sweatdrop  
**Chibi-Assassin - **Aha, I think anyone sleeping in the cold would get... cold... and what exactly is it that YOU would have Sou do? Hee hee  
- Thanks for the love!  
**EK - **Ah, so glad to help with your story. I've been waiting forever for some kind of update, I kept getting getbacker updates and got confused. And, heh heh, bad reviews don't really bother me especially if they're from someone by the name of _Flamer_. I'd expect it!  
**Flamer - **Well, uh... there is a site I got my info from perhaps you've heard of it. It's Absolute Anime. It said his eyes were blue so I said his eyes were blue and I remember them being like a dark purple color when he got mad in the anime. And... Sojiro is not overtly built, so ... I'm calling him scrawny for the time being. Kenshin is scrawny too. I'm not doing it to insult the Tenken, just forming my own opinions. And... um... Yasue... yeah she is... and Sojiro is... uh... fictional my dear, sorry if that bursts your bubble. Sorry for being late!

**Chapter Seven – With Heat From Another**

_I think I better return that sword to Mr.Shishio. I know I'm weak but I prefer things the way they are…_

"Sojiro! Please stop!"

Sojiro sat up in his bed and yawned loudly, rubbing his eyes with his fists. Every morning, or at least the last one, Yasue had been up and in his room. He flipped the covers off of his body and yawned again, adjusting his yukata so it was securely closed and tight around his waist. He would just go and check on her quickly to make sure she was okay before he got dressed.

He opened the shoji and peered out at the winter wonderland that greeted him. It must have snowed all night for the snow to be this deep. He felt that if he stepped in it, he would suddenly be buried by whiteness. Of course though, the snow was nowhere near high enough to be over his head. But if it continued snowing the way it was, in just a couple more days, it would be.

He turned to go to Yasue's room and stopped again, his small eyes slowly widening in horror. He collapsed next to the motionless Yasue and picked her up, carrying her frozen body back into his room. Small beads of sweat began to sprout on his forehead and he ran about the room in a panic, first placing Yasue in his bed and then trying to find as many blankets as he could to layer on top of her. The extent of his medical knowledge was you used a clothe to capture a running nose, he knew nothing else. He fell down next to her, grabbing one of her stiff delicate hands in his.

Her breaths were short and raspy through her bluing lips. He thought it strange that she wasn't shivering and that only lead to a new pinnacle of fear. For a moment, he was almost sure she was dead, but then her eyes opened, her sharp green eyes deadened, and she sat up, pulling herself to him. The hard thumps from her hands echoed in Sojiro's ears as she pulled herself to him, her legs unused in her effort. He pushed himself back to the wall, the sight of her ghostlike figure shifting towards him bringing about a strange sense of fear.

"Sojiro… I'm cold," she whispered, her hands darting into his yukata and finding the warmth of his body. Sojiro resisted the urge to throw them off and instead sucked air through his teeth and bore it. The skin on her fingers began to burn, but she couldn't take them away from the heat. She began to cry, pushing herself up against him. He leaned foreword and grabbed the blankets from the bed, pulling Yasue up onto his lap and throwing the blanket over her, tucking it in and making the seal tight around her body. "You're so w-warm," she stuttered, her teeth finally clattering together. "Sojiro… it's s-starting to hu-hurt." He lifted her head and hugged her with his body, offering his warmth to her and closing his eyes as her body began to shake harder against him. Her forehead was blazing, but he'd have to get the doctor later. After a while, her shaking stopped and she back asleep against him.

The small body in his arms was like a delicate strand of glass now. Why he felt that he had to be so careful with her was beyond his understanding. All he knew is he felt some strange bubble forming in his stomach like when he had raced to her shop and seen it in chaos. Trying his best to keep from jostling her too much, Sojiro stood and brought her back to his bed, placing her in it and covering her forehead in a cold clothe figuring it was the best thing to do to get her fever under control. He was about to get up when Yoshi burst through the shoji, calling Sojiro loudly. In a heartbeat, Sojiro had clapped a hand over Yoshi's mouth and put a finger to his lips.

"Yoshi I need you to do me two favors. One, please keep your voice under control, Miss Yasue is sleeping. Two, if you would please get the doctor for me, I'll tell you about it when you return," he said. Yoshi pulled angrily on Sojiro's hand to protest, but Sojiro placed his other hand firmly over his mouth. "Get the doctor please Yoshi. Your news will have to wait until later," he said. Yoshi threw Sojiro's sword on the ground, his temper flaring, and stomped out of the room. Sojiro stared at the exposed blade for a moment, watching the light reflect off of the metal. "Thanks…" he whispered distractedly, returning to sit by Yasue's side as she slowly recovered.

Slowly her eyes opened and she looked up at him, trying to sit up, but he pushed her back down gently and smiled. "You are sick Miss Yasue. Yoshi went to go get a doctor and should be back soon so, until then, I would like you to get some rest," he said, his hands still on her shoulders. Figuring she couldn't protest, she kept quiet, but grabbed his hands so he couldn't leave her. "Are you feeling any better?" he asked. She nodded, but in reality, her head was throbbing and her body felt like it had been stabbed a million times with heated needles.

"Why was Yoshi here?" Yasue asked quietly.

"He stopped by. He had something to tell me." Sojiro was quick and to the point, giving the air that any further questions on the matter would be cleverly dodged or ignored. The hint was taken and Yasue dropped the subject for now. He took one of his hands from hers, pulling his yukata closed. "I should get changed," he said quietly. Yasue nodded, letting him go and switch to his usual gi and hakama. Once that small task was accomplished he went back to her side and sat down with a small smile on his lips. "Can I ask you a question?" he asked after a moment's silence, not resisting when Yasue took his hand again and held it close to her face. Absently, she nodded and moved his fisted hand under her chin. "Why were you sleeping outside my door this morning?" With a small frown, she propped herself up onto her elbow and looked at him intently.

"Honestly… I went to make sure that you were still there after left my room and then I guess I fell asleep outside your door," she mumbled. She had fallen asleep on the job. It wasn't quite that she had gone to check on him. Her intention had been to make sure he didn't leave in the night as she was sure he was going to. "I was afraid you had left. I thought that what you did last night was your way of saying goodbye to me," she whispered, lowering herself back down. Before Sojiro had a chance to respond, Yoshi had rushed into the room, dragging a rather dazed medic behind him.

"All right, come on Sojiro. I got _stuff_ to tell you," Yoshi said.

"Miss Yasue, I'll be right outside," Sojiro said lightly, wiping away a tear that had formed at her eye and smiling passively before leaving the room behind Yoshi and bowing to the doctor on his way out.

"Sojiro, bad news. The Gundashi have an outside source of info and know where Mi-Yasue lives. They've also got info on you."

"Really? Like what?" Sojiro asked, looking genuinely interested though his voiced expressed otherwise. He seemed more interested in going back into that room and Yoshi frowned at that thought.

"Your affiliation with the Juppongatana and your fight with the Battousai. Or at least as much as they could get since you're the only one who knows details 'cept the Battousai himself. Alls they know is you lost your fight, kid, and you had some complications afterwards. Don't ask me how they found all this out. We did a thorough background check and we barely found your name in any record. This is really all over my head. Anyway, Yasue and you are in a lot more trouble now than you were before. I urge you to go take cover at the captains hideout," Yoshi said, fidgeting slightly.

"All that would do, Yoshi, is aggravate them and prolong a fated battle. Anyway Yoshi, Miss Yasue is quite sick at and I don't think moving would be in the best for her health." Sojiro smiled. Why was he doing this? This was putting her at risk and that was exactly what he pledged not to do, so why was he so certain she should stay here? He had a hunch her health wasn't the only reason he was so persistent on her staying put. There was something else, deep down in his stomach he felt something. Was it… pride? No, he had none, he deserved none, but what was it?

"You know what I think? I think you _want_ to fight them," Yoshi claimed angrily, his expression somewhat amazed that Sojiro wasn't going to leave. The doctor walked out, halting any reply that Sojiro would have said.

"She's got a high fever and a developing cold. I believe the fever will die down soon enough if she stays indoors and covered up. There is also a small irritation at the back of her throat. Make sure she gets enough rest and fluids in her body and keep her comfortable. No extra stress like working until she's completely better. I don't want her taking any risks with her health. If she's lucky, the whole mess will pass in about a week. I'm surprised she didn't suffer any permanent damage from staying out in temperatures like this for that amount of time. Perhaps she was just in a good place by the house. Anyway, give her this before she goes to sleep. It will help with any discomfort at her throat and give her a good nights rest." The doctor handed him a small vile of yellow liquid and nodded to him, departing with Yoshi close behind, one last glance sent back from the swordsman to Sojiro.

Sojiro sighed and walked back into his room where Yasue lay, sitting down next to her and crossing his legs. Thankfully she had fallen back asleep, but in her sleep she fidgeted and murmured, clenching and unclenching her hands. For a moment he just watched her, trying to convince himself that it wasn't his fault she was outside his door. For some reason the thought that it could be made him uneasy and his stomach would shrink uncomfortably. Sighing, he moved to the head of the bed and pulled her up into him, dragging the blanket along with her as he backed himself up against the wall. The excitement first thing in the morning had put him back into a fog. He pulled the blanket around her and held her in his arms, bowing his head down to hers and going to sleep.

Mr.Shishio had been callous to Yumi, yes, but when she was in trouble, like the time Usui had used her as bait, Shishio had changed. When he finally got her back he had held her close to his body and laughed at Usui, but Sojiro could sense something different in the way he did it. It was almost like he wanted to protect her, but that wasn't like Shishio at all. Was it?

Eventually, Sojiro fell asleep again, dreaming of memories. Mr.Himura had spoken of protecting the weak, Shishio had spoken of killing them. While Shishio's truth no longer appealed to him, he couldn't deny that it suited him better than Himura's. Sojiro now had to find his own truth between the two, but how? How could he live a normal life when, three months earlier, he had lived anything but a normal one? For a reason he couldn't quite explain, he knew that Yasue was his key to getting their, to that enlightenment of realization. Sojiro woke up, the clenching in his stomach jarring him from his dreams.

He was alone in the room, the blanket draped over his body and tucked behind his shoulders. Where had Yasue disappeared? Sojiro stood up and began looking around the room, figuring she was still inside somewhere. The shoji opened and Yasue walked in, carrying a small tray of food in her hands lightly. "Miss Yasue?" Sojiro mumbled. Startled, she turned and looked at him, jumping when their eyes connected, the contents of her tray rattling loudly.

"I didn't know you had woken up. When I left you were still asleep." She smiled, clearing her throat nervously. Sojiro walked up to her and grabbed the tray, kneeling and placing it on the ground.

"Miss Yasue, the doctor's orders were that you stay inside away from the cold and not overwork yourself," Sojiro said, his smile betraying the nature of his words. Yasue found herself frowning at his comments.

"I only made a little bit of food and that's hardly any work at all," she protested, sitting down when Sojiro pulled on her. "I'm fine." Her throat began to tickle again and she cleared it, glancing at Sojiro. "You can't make me stay indoors forever ya know," she said defiantly, crossing her arms.

"Not forever, just until you're feeling better."

"I _am_ feeling better."

"That's not what I meant."

"But it's what you said," she pointed out.

"Then allow me to reiterate. You can't go outside until the _doctor_ says you are feeling better."

"But he did say I was doing much better."

"Then until _I_ say you are feeling better."

"But that'll be forever and a day," she cried, falling onto her hands.

"At least you'll be healthy," he laughed. She slumped and began eating, her chopsticks held tightly in her long fingers. Sojiro followed her lead, chuckling whenever Yasue shot him a dirty look. He tried to ignore how comfortable he felt around her now, like they had grown up together, like he knew everything about her. Knowing someone for three months on friendly occasions did not constitute and actually being anything more than congenial acquaintances, even if she had kissed him.

When they had finished, Yasue placed her chopsticks down and looked at Sojiro. When he saw her gaze his smile slowly fell from his face, but it wasn't replaced by anything, just a blank expression. "Are you okay?" he asked quickly, moving the tray and leaning foreword towards her.

"Yes… I just have a question." She kept her voice quiet, not wanting to sound too foreword at the moment. Sojiro smiled and leaned back, realizing that she wasn't ailing. "How long are you planning on staying?" Sojiro just shrugged. He had never given it much thought.

"Whenever I'm no longer needed I suppose. I can't leave you when you need my help," he said, lowering his head to look at his hands. Her expression was getting annoying, the way her eyebrows knit together and she bit her lip and kept smoothing out her yukata.

"Then I have another question to ask you…" Her voice dropped to a whisper and she crept foreword until their knees touched together. Sojiro, for once, didn't try and move back. Instead, he stared at the connection uncomfortably and clenched his hands on his hakama. "You said you couldn't love me, but I know you do-"

"Correction, I said I couldn't touch you," he said, beginning to shuffle back slowly.

"But you do touch me. You touch me and then pull away. Besides, even if you won't touch me, you can't stop me from touching you," she said quietly, a hand stroking his gi as she leaned foreword into him. Sojiro tried getting away, but fell back onto his hands and Yasue took the opportunity to block him down with her own body, her arms on either side of him pushed in tight to his shoulders. A small noise escaped his mouth and he looked up at her, a fearful expression on his face.

The small blush on his cheeks made hers flare up as well, the small butterflies in her stomach in a frenzy. If he wasn't going to do it, then she was. It was about time that the walls were broken and she was sick of him just sitting there and smiling. Easing herself down slowly, not wanting to startle him with a quick descent, she let her lips connect softly with Sojiro's and trailing her hands on his small gray shirt inside his gi.

"I don't think this is good for your health," Sojiro muttered, being cut off as Yasue silenced him with her fingers and kissed him again. His resolve was crumbling and instead he was becoming self conscience of his inexperience. The only thing he could think to do was mimic Yasue as she gradually applied pressure. As soon as he felt Yasue's tongue beginning to enter his mouth, he jumped and turned his head, gasping for air. Smiling, Yasue guided his reluctant face back to the front and settling her head on his chest, her hands still in his gi.

"You don't have a lot of experience do you?" She laughed. Sojiro didn't answer, just stared at the ceiling. "I'm sorry if I startled you." Sojiro swallowed hard and began to fidget, eventually wrapping his arms around her. "Does this mean you've changed your mind?" Sojiro sighed.

"I don't know. I feel horrible doing this to you, but you don't make it easy for me to stick to my goals." Sojiro looked up at her as she lifted herself up and smiled down at him, letting her kiss him quickly. "I don't think this is right," he said, pulling a bit of her black hair over her shoulder and running it through his fingers.

"Why? Why do you think that?" Yasue asked, though she wasn't really listening to him. Yes, he finally did it! He finally at least admitted that he couldn't keep his vow, which hopefully meant that later on he'd be more open about touching her. He also took the liberty of correcting her before. So he could actually love her, there was a chance. Well, hopefully since he was holding her so nicely.

"I just don't think it is."

"Sojiro, you're my age right?"

"Depends on how old you are."

"Seventeen."

"Then no, I'm eighteen," he said, letting his hands fall from her back as she flung her hair over her shoulder and sighed. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I think we're both old enough to do this and make our own decisions. That means that since I have no problem with this, you shouldn't be worried about staining me or whatever it is you call it," she said matter-of-factly. Sojiro propped himself up on his elbows and smiled.

"Just because you don't have a problem with something doesn't mean it's all right for someone else to do it. I have no problem with swordplay, but that doesn't mean you should try doing it."

"Sojiro!" Yasue scolded, bringing her face close to his. "Swords are much different than people you know." Clearing her throat of irritation, she moved off of him and sat on the floor, her arms crossed. Suddenly her throat began to tingle like there were ants crawling around inside it and she bowed her head and coughed into her hands, forcing herself to stop as it began to hurt. Sojiro, frowned and moved closer to her, touching her arm with his hand hesitantly. "It's all right. It's just a little cold, nothing to worry yourself about." But little colds could grow…

"Miss Yasue, this reminds me. What you said before, about me leaving, why would you be _afraid_?" he asked, studying her face. The expression changed from content to that expression that always seemed to be around her when she was with him. The brows knit and she began chewing on her soft pink lips, averting her gaze from his and rubbing her hands. "Why were you afraid?" he asked again, grabbing her hands to stop their movements. Their quick jerks made him uneasy for some reason. She looked up at him, her eyes shimmering.

_How do you tell him? Last night I was almost sure he would kill me with his sword, but then two seconds later I was holding him. In all honesty, how am I supposed to trust you? I'd like to say I feel nothing but happiness from you breaking your vow but… I don't. It means you could break the one that you just made to me about staying. I was afraid last night you would loose yourself again and leave… or worse. Would you ever kill yourself? Would you ever do something like that?_

Yasue felt her stomach sinking. "Miss Yasue?" Sojiro asked quietly. She had been staring at him for a while now with the tears just streaming down her face. "Are you all right?"

_If he had someone…_

Sojiro wiped her cheeks dry with his gi sleeve.

_To shed her tears of caring for him…_

Then he pushed her head into his chest and smiled

_He would have had a completely different life._


	8. Mitsumei's Visit

**Tenken's Amour - **Angst? Give some pointers and I'll try and mix it in. The final battle is um... down the line... : )  
**Mysterious Samurai - **I've attracted eyes! Wa. Anyway, it's quite obvious that Yasue is attracted by now isn't it? And yes, there is a certain enjoyment with the Tenken's embarrassment for her. Thanks.  
**Yuna (FFX) - **Sorry you disapprove the scrawny description for Sojiro, but he's no Mr.Universe. As I've pointed out before to many other people who seem to have a tiff with that as well, it's all in the eyes of the beholder. So, when I say he scrawny, that's what I think he is. I'm glad you said you 'disagreed' and not that I was wrong. It makes me feel slightly better. By the way, is the story any good, love?  
**Hot gurl -** LAZY? Haha, I know. He will fight soon enough, love, so just keep your pants on alright? And, I find the ending quite good so... hee hee. Looking foreword to writing it. And, this update is up MUCH quicker than the others don't you agree?  
**Noname -** Haha, I'm evil. I'm justblack through and throughlaughs. Thanks for liking my evilness.  
**Streetwise Girl - **You sound like you're in pain when you say it's good. And you're the first person to say you liked the romance scenes. I got mostly that my female character was too strong. But, I can see where they were coming from. A good writer has patience with their stories. I didn'. Bwahaha.  
**Genki Ninjagirl - **Those dang banana skins. Haha,you'd have to clone one for me though if you did find a good Sou-chan. I would love one too... hee hee.**  
Chibi-Assassin - **haha, You think I update fast. Anyway, thanks for the review. I do have some lemons coming up though so uh... the dirty thoughts will be 'actionified'.  
**Another Baka - **goofy smirk  
**EK - **Haha, Glad I could be a component in your busy busy intinerary. I guess I wanted to show some of what Yasue was feeling instead of saying over and over how confused and lost Sojiro was. I figured that maybe getting a little confusion on Yasue's side would mix it up a bit --;  
**"Oro" Object - **Oye, I'd give you an answer, but saying yes or no would give it away now wouldn't it? That's one of my favorite traits of Sojiro though, his childlike nature even when he's shoving a dagger into someone's head.  
**Smiling Blue-Clad Wanderer's 0 - **My fic is rated M because in the near future I have some naughty material. And then from then on it isa bit touchy touchy. I can give a heads up if you would rather not read it. I'll try and give vague details so you don't miss out by keeping your head clean. :)  
**Chikky-Chan - **happy squeak, love them.

**Chapter Eight – Mitsumei's Visit**

_You saw me didn't you? Now that you've seen me, I've got no choice, you're dead._

"Yasue!"

Yasue looked at the door angrily. Of course an interruption would come right when she didn't want one. "Yasue!"

She looked at Sojiro quickly before separating reluctantly and standing up. "It's Mitsumei. I forgot she was visiting today," Yasue said, almost whining. She would give anything for just five more minutes with Sojiro. Resisting the urge to stay quiet and let Mitsumei find her way to the door, she walked to the shoji and opened it, leaning out. "Mitsumei, over here!" she called, waving her hand until Mitsumei noticed her. She was about to turn back to Sojiro when he appeared behind her, one hand gently tugging on the ends of her raven black hair.

"I have to go to Shizokuma's for a while. Will Mitsumei be staying?" Yasue nodded numbly. Even after taking the brash liberty of kissing him, his own voluntary closeness was still enough to melt her down to a small little puddle in the floor. Their eyes connected for a moment before he walked away, heading out the door just as Mitsumei was walking in. As he passed her, a rather large and goofy grin developed on the woman's face and she looked at Yasue and jumped up and down, punching her fists high into the air.

"Well well, my little Yasue. How does it feel being unvirginified? So you finally broke through the stoic beast's walls eh? Lucky, lucky," she giggled, planting her feet on the ground so she could twitter effectively.

"Mitsumei, I'm still a virgin and I merely took a few chips out of his wall I'd say. Come inside or he'll end up coming back and locking me in," she said and Mitsumei walked inside the rest of the way, still grinning as Yasue closed the door. "You're so nosy Mitsumei," Yasue added quietly. She just laughed loudly, slowly walking to the bed.

"Well, you were still in your yukata you know. It was a logical conclusion." Her eyes narrowed as she pulled the sheets off, scanning over the covers as if expecting to find some kind of hidden code in it's fluffy clothe.

"What are you doing?"

"He sleeps here right?" she asked and Yasue nodded in response, taking a step closer and looking at the bed as well, trying to find what Mitsumei was looking for. "And this is his bed right?" Mitsumei nodded when Yasue did, bending over and staring hard at the covers.

"What are you doing?" Yasue asked tentatively, positive whatever answer she was given would most likely be one she didn't wish to hear.

"Fluids m'dear."

Bingo. Yasue blushed insanely, opening her mouth to protest, but nothing came out. Mitsumei just laughed and flipped the covers back over the bed, placing her hands on her hips and shaking her head hard. "Just checking you know. He's clean." Yasue groaned loudly, kneeling on the ground and covering her face in embarrassment. Of all the things that Mitsumei could do to distress her, she had done the worst one possible. Just looking at Sojiro should have been enough proof for Mitsumei, but she just _had_ to look at the bed didn't she? Of course, anything to make Yasue blush. It was practically a prize for her.

"Mitsumei, how embarrassing!" Yasue wailed, opening her fingers to look at Mitsumei.

"I had it with my warrior you know."

"But I thought you said he didn't love you."

"Yeah… I slipped him some when he wasn't looking and he loosened up real quick for me. It was sooo good though, but I can't say he was too happy when he woke up," she giggled quietly, obvious hurt clear on her face though she would never openly admit to pain.

"After all the stuff you did to him I'm surprised he stayed," Yasue mumbled.

"Well, he had no money, shelter or food so he had to stay. Besides, if he really didn't like it then he would've found somewhere else to go. And after that I ended up leaving anyway." She shrugged like it was no big deal. They talked for a while about Mitsumei's relationship with her swordsman. It never got into detail upon Yasue's request and Mitsumei was content in just discussing the overall affinity. By the time she was ready to leave, it was getting to be dark out. Sojiro had returned without saying and was sitting by the snow, swinging his feet and eating a snowball he had made from his hand. "How old did you say he was again?" Mitsumei whispered, leaning into Yasue.

"A year older than me," she responded. The two watched Sojiro for a while whom appeared to be oblivious to their presence, too caught up in the sky's drab gray to notice them staring. Mitsumei shrugged and said her good-byes to Yasue, taking one last look at Sojiro who finally had perceived them and smiled. Sojiro nodded and went back to eating snow. "Sojiro? Are you cold?" she asked. Sojiro jumped up to his feet, letting the remainder of snow fall from his hand and plop back to the ground before retrieving a package that had been carefully concealed by his side. He just shook his head in response to her question, taking her back inside.

"I brought us some food from Shizokuma's so you wouldn't have to trouble yourself with cooking," Sojiro said smiling, placing the small bag of food on the ground. Yasue frowned at it and looked indignantly at Sojiro.

"Sojiro, it's only a small cold and I can do some work. He didn't forbid me to move you know," she grumbled, crossing her arms. Thankfully, when Mitsumei had been visiting, she had been spared a few moments of privacy to dress herself into a warm kimono. On this particular day, a simple periwinkle colored one had been catching.

Sojiro's smile faltered slightly and he looked away, setting things up on the floor for them to eat. Yasue sat down in front of him, suddenly worried. "What?"

"It's much more serious than that Yasue. In conditions like these, the doctor said it was a miracle you didn't catch pneumonia. I don't want to take any chances. With your system already taking a beating, it's possible for you to develop pneumonia if you aren't careful. So while it's not a high risk, I still don't want you to do too much for a while until you're feeling good as new," he said, regaining his lost smile. Yasue's frown deepened her look of concern.

"Really?" she whispered. Even though medicine was improving, to get pneumonia in this small town was still lethal. And for Yasue to get it with the Gundashi hot on their trails… she _would_ have to be careful, walking on eggshells careful. If they did show and Yasue was sick, Sojiro wouldn't be able to fully concentrate on his attacker. The last thing Yasue wanted was to be a burden to Sojiro, if that hadn't already been achieved.

"Here Miss Yasue, eat this and then you can get some sleep," Sojiro said placidly, handing her some food. "Miss Shizokuma heard about you from Yoshi and made this especially for you. It's plain hot soba, but it's bound to make you feel better." He paused and pulled something more from the bag, presenting it to her cautiously. "This is also from Shizokuma. She said she didn't want it anymore. I was also told not to look so I'm guessing you should open it privately," Sojiro said, his cheeks flaring slightly.

Once they had finished eating, Sojiro wrapped Yasue in his gi and carried her and her present to the room, walking fast so the cold could not penetrate through her layers. As soon as she was snuggled down into her bed and tightly wrapped in the covers, he extracted the small vile of liquid the doctor had given and handed it to her, resisting the urge to laugh when she gagged and cursed it.

Sojiro began to stand up and walk to the door, but about three steps towards it, he stopped and looked at the ground a moment before turned to Yasue and smiling, kneeling down and pulling her towards him quickly. She felt the warmth of his neck by her cheek and gasped from the sudden embrace, too shocked to do anything except stare over his shoulder. "Please get better, Yasue," he whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth and exiting swiftly. Yasue sat stunned in her bed, touching the spot on her mouth where Sojiro had touched her and staring at the door. Despite the fatigue she had felt before, she was now nothing but restless.

At one point she opened Shizokuma's present, but in the darkness of the night, the only thing she could make of it was that it was a kimono, a large one at that, and it bored her quickly. Then the sound came. A strange high-pitched ringing that reverberated around the closed quarters of Yasue's room. Yasue, feeling the Gundashi were close, fled from the room to Sojiro's and knelt down by him, tapping his back until he responded, a simple shrug of his shoulders.

"Sojiro, there was a strange noise outside my room," she whispered. He opened his eyes a crack and shuffled over in his bed, falling back asleep. "Can I sleep in your room with you?" she asked him quietly, already beginning to creep onto the futon. He nodded wearily, exhaling loudly. Yasue then quickly climbed into the bed with him, smiling contentedly. Being with Sojiro made her feel safe from whatever was out there. Sojiro, in his fog of sleep, rolled over and grabbed her, cuddling into her. Then his blue eyes snapped open and he shot away from her like a bullet, standing up and stumbling back a few steps.

"Miss Yasue?" he screeched, grabbing his head in confusion.

"Hey, you said I could," she objected, standing up at the side of the bed.

"What? What are you doing here? You went outside!" he said accusingly, pointing a finger at her.

"There was this weird noise and I got scared."

"Huh? No, no, go back- aww. You shouldn't have gone outside! You increase your chances of getting sick. I thought you weren't going to risk it." Sojiro sighed, walking out of the room. He wasn't going to make her walk back to her room after trying so hard to keep her in and letting her sleep in his room while he snoozed in hers was just asking for another outside stroll. Picking up the bedding in her room, he stopped and listened for the noise that Miss Yasue had been so frightened of, but all he heard were the sweet chirping of crickets and other bugs. Other than that, it was silent.

"You choose which bed you would like to sleep in." Sojiro dropped the bundle in his hands to the floor, giving a rather annoyed look to Yasue. He couldn't have been more comfortable in his bed, sleeping and dreaming when she had come in. Now though, even though it bothered him to be awake, he seemed more relieved to have Yasue where he could watch her and make sure she was kept safe.

"This one smells like you," she giggled, settling herself into Sojiro's bed, grabbing the blankets and pulling them tight around her body. "So does your gi," Yasue added, bringing the front parts up to her face and smiling at him. Even though Sojiro had a rather small frame, the gi was still rather large on Yasue, though the unfit size only seemed to accentuate her slender body. Sojiro just stood in front of her, her bedding in his arms and a rather confused look on his face. What exactly did he smell like? "What? They smell good, _you_ smell good." She laughed at Sojiro's befuddled stare.

Pushing the bubble of puzzlement away, he yawned and dropped the bedding, attempting to spread it out for himself, but found that his arms had gone slack and flopped down on top of them, yawning loudly. "I'm tired," he mumbled, closing his eyes and rubbing his face into the soft fabric. Yasue sat up in Sojiro's bed and crawled over to him, laying her body over his like a human blanket.

"You'll get cold if you fall asleep now," she whispered into his ear, closing her own eyes. Sojiro fidgeted slightly under her weight. "We'll both be cold." Sojiro moved slightly so he was facing her, looking up at her blankly. Yasue opened her eyes and rested her lips atop Sojiro's for only an instant, lacing her fingers into his and grinning. "This is nice," she murmured, placing her head on Sojiro's small shoulder and sighing. Feeling the cold licking at his own fingers, Sojiro shook a hand free from Yasue's and pulled a blanket over her body.

"I'll put the beds together, but then you _must_ get back to sleep."

"I never went to sleep."

"Yasue!"

"I'm sorry, but I just couldn't. Maybe there was something in that medicine," she said, laying down in the already fixed bed while Sojiro busied himself with the other. Once the beds were set next to each other and Sojiro was comfortably inside the covers, Yasue rolled onto her side, back facing Sojiro, saying her goodnight to him and closing her eyes. Now that she was with him, the uneasiness she had been experiencing before vanished and she actually _was_ tired. A small smile spread across her lips as Sojiro's hand popped through her arm and pulled her body in close to his.

He might not think what he was doing was completely right, but that wasn't stopping him.


	9. Black Kimono

**Genki Ninjagirl - **Ahahaha. I love Sou too. Thanks for the review.  
**Erica Madarine - **I will most certainly try to keep updating as quick as possible, but I work a lot throughout the week and I don't have many days off so it's hard to sit down and work on this story. I thought because it was the summer I'd get time to do stuff like this. Alas.  
**Noname - **Well... uh, to say the least. I won't say much regarding this review. Blatant, and exactly what I've heard about four hundred times already. I know my OC is a bit forward, but what exactly is she SUPPOSED to be like them according to you? Are all OC's supposed to laid back and soft spoken? Anyway, thanks for the review I guess. I can take a hit.  
**Another Baka - **BUG grin? haha. Big, I get it.  
**Smiling Blue-Clad Wanderer's - **Haha, okay, I retract it. Actually, next chapter miss. Just for you.  
**IKnowNow - **Well, I figured that his fight with Kenshin did awaken him to the feelings he had long since forgotten, but having them dumped like that doesn't mean he understands them. That's what I was going for. And yes, himuttering Yumi's name instead of Shizokuma meant that he hadn't quite been able to adapt to his new way of life and that a part of him was still stuck in the past.  
**Streetwise Girl - **I tried to make Mitsumei interesting. Haha. I'm hoping that saying she was interesting doesn't mean that you don't like her. I have a problem with people hating my OC's in this story I guess. Ho hum. **

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**First off, would like to apologize for the false alarm. Got to anxious and updated it without a TITLE! Ohmeegosh. Anyway, I finished this all today for you guys. Got off work and sat down and worked on it all day so I wouldn't get people cursing me in their dreams. Heh heh.**

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**Chapter Nine – Black Kimono**

_I thought so… he really is a bad man…_

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Hey wait a second. As much as I'd like to see it, won't it look sorta bad?"

"Don't worry. There's a dangerous killer hiding around here, don't you remember? I don't think a kid being killed around here would look too suspicious."

_I think I better return that sword to Mr. Shishio. I know I'm weak but I prefer things the way they are._

"As much as I'd like to see it…"

After all… it must hurt to be killed by a sword… 

"Yumi…"

Sojiro's head snapped up hard and he quickly covered his face with his only accessible hand, looking through the corner of his eye at the one that was pinned down by Yasue. A strange calm overwhelmed him when he saw her safely next to him, still alive even if she did look more like an apparition than a human being. The bugs outside her room certainly didn't sound like anything to be afraid of and she had most certainly been living here for a while before he came so those sounds should be accustomed to by now. Perhaps there was another reason for her intrusion.

Yasue opened her eyes and turned to him, immediately sitting up and grabbing Sojiro's face in her cold hands. It seemed the ice had not left them. "What' wrong?" she asked, wiping a small bead of sweat from his damp face. His expression was horrifying: pupils so small that the complete iris was visible, only possible after being frightened, yet they seemed to stay shrunk in the whites of his eyes until a smile broke his petrified face. But his shoulders shook violently with every shuddering breath he took and the nervousness behind his eyes didn't seem to leave.

His emotions were not so easy to control anymore. Before, they had been contained in a tiny little box, forgotten and neglected and gathering dust, but now they came full force, knocking him backwards every time something new happened. Yet the dream really had frightened him. Those feelings he had felt escape in that moment of panic came flooding back to him in his slumber and the four ugly faces of his first victims sparked the rage he had felt during his battle with Kenshin. With both of those passionate emotions burning and bubbling inside of him so intensely, his heart had almost burst through his chest. Yasue was still staring at him with an earnest face, expression full of concern and worry, none of which was discernible to Sojiro.

"I'm fine Miss Yasue, really. Just a bad dream is all. Calm down." Sojiro laughed lightly, choosing to forget his dream and all that came with it. Was it right to dwell on such things? Yasue frowned and let her hands slip down his cheeks and into her lap. "I'm okay," he reiterated, smiling and taking slow, deep breaths to steady himself. She nodded; her face brightening like someone had flipped a switch, and grabbed his gi, pushing her face into it.

"For a minute I thought it was you who had caught the pneumonia."

"I can't if I have to protect you," he mumbled quietly, cocking his head and staring at the wall over her back. There was a touch of sadness in his voice that halted Yasue's amusement and made her look up at him. Breaking his gaze with the wall, he looked down at her benevolently, a small curve added to his lips. "You are my greatest concern. I don't want you to get sick, but we can't very well stay here since the Gundashi are aware of our location. We're stuck," he said, sighing in an almost dreamy way. The smile never left his lips. Yasue's shoulder's hunched over and she shuffled away from him, placing her palms on the ground, fingers pointed in toward each other so they touched at the tips.

"I'm sorry for creating such a burden," she whispered quietly, touching her forehead down to her hands. Sojiro mumbled her name, standing up and crossing his arms loosely. Yet again with the bowing. Yasue lifted her head, but closed her eyes, sitting straight and rigid like a proper lady would; though it didn't suit her at all.

"You're no burden to me Miss Yasue, at least not an unwanted one," he said soothingly, reaching out for her and smiling his usual. In response, instead of taking his help, she lowered her head further into her chest. "Miss Yasue," he said, squatting down in front of her and holding out his hand again, thinking that maybe she didn't know he was trying to help her since her eyes had been shut. "If I upset you with what I said, then I apologize, it wasn't my intention." His small white hand slowly retracted and placed itself on his knee to try and maintain balance so he wouldn't fall on her.

"Mitsumei is coming today," she said quietly. Sojiro just nodded and grabbed one of her inert hands.

"That's good. I have to go meet Yoshi at Shizokuma's anyway. I won't be long today though," he muttered, leaning foreword and kissing her forehead lightly. "You should get dressed though so Mitsumei doesn't suspect any foul play." Sojiro laughed a little and blushed. Yasue finally opened her eyes and looked at him questioningly. "I only heard a little of what was said so don't worry. I didn't stay to hear the rest of the conversation."

Yasue got up and began to walk out the door to get dressed, suddenly anxious that Mitsumei would come before she was done when Sojiro grabbed her arms and stopped her. Heaven forbid she walk ten steps outside without ten layers of clothing. Still, she smiled inwardly as Sojiro wrapped the thick comforter around her and picked her up into his arms. Her mouth opened to squeak out protests, but Sojiro intercepted. "Would you rather walk or be carried?" he asked her quickly. In the end he ended up carrying her to her room. Just as Yasue had finished tying her obi around her waist, Mitsumei was heard outside, running up the walk and calling out Yasue's name excitedly.

Yasue jumped up towards the door and opened the shoji a little bit, leaned her head out through the frame. "HAI! Mitsumei, back here!" Yasue called out. Sojiro walked briskly towards her and caught her waist, kissing her neck briefly before heading outside. Yasue's eyes followed him as he exited, watched him nod to Mitsumei passively as he jumped down off towards the path to town. The older woman stopped in front of Yasue and grinned. "Mitsumei, you're here." Yasue sighed a little, allowing Mitsumei to guide her back into the room and shut the shoji.

"Shizokuma said she sent you a package." Yasue nodded slightly, eyes flicking hesitantly to the opened package in the corner of her room where she had discarded it the night before. "Isn't this your room?" Mitsumei said, brows knit in thought. Yasue nodded slowly, feeling trouble creeping up her back. Mitsumei glanced at her bobbing head and placed her hands on her hips. "Then where's the _bed_ dear?" she asked slyly, a small devilish grin creeping up onto her lips. Without waiting for an answer, Mitsumei was over at the package that Shizokuma had sent and pulling out a rather long black kimono. Immediately Yasue knew it would be too large.

"It's in Sojiro's room," Yasue mumbled, knowing she was digging her own grave, but Mitsumei would have searched for it if she felt that Yasue had been lying, then it wouldn't be just one person digging her grave, Mitsumei would've helped her down there. A soft flare added to Yasue's cheeks as Mitsumei dropped the kimono with a gasp and looked at her with shocked eyes. "But we didn't. I got scared and went to sleep with Sojiro. Then he took my bedding from my room and put it in his room so we didn't have to crowd into one bed." Her voice poured out of her mouth rapidly in an effort to convince Mitsumei she was in fact still a virgin. But such an effort was bound to fail and by the look that Mitsumei was giving her, she knew that the effort had indeed not fulfilled her desire to straighten Mitsumei's dirty mind.

"But I'm sure you _wished_ something would happen, am I right? Well, you're changing dear. Take that kimono off and put this one on," she said, throwing the open black kimono towards Yasue. It landed with a soft flop on Yasue's head, knocking her back a couple steps as she struggled to free herself from it. When Yasue was able to push it down off her head, she saw Mitsumei digging in the shallow box again, not even paying a bit of attention to her. Yasue turned away from Mitsumei and untied the obi she had put on not two minutes earlier. She sighed as she slipped into the black kimono, finding Mitsumei's visit to be more stressful that she had anticipated. As she stood admiring the silky fabric of the kimono, it was indeed too big. Way too big.

"You're sure?"

"Yep, it was kept a secret though so no one knew. Well, at least not the public. Hearing about Shishio's near success could have lead to revolts nationwide. There are people out there who long for the bloodshed and fear of the revolution still. A lot more than you think."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Notaru."

"No problem Sojiro."

Sojiro left the old balding man smiling even though the news he had gotten was none to happy. Turning into the back alleys seemed a good way to achieve the privacy he had been looking for and he hummed a tune to break the heavy silence that enveloped him. Slowly his hand reached for his sword, humming stopped for the moment, and he stopped. "Hello stranger," he called out cheerfully.

"I'm no stranger Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana."

At first his mind told him it was Mikazu, but the harsh cold voice wasn't that of Mikazu, but that of a bat. "Hennya." The small man landed in front of him, closing his wings around his body or… bones. His appearance hadn't changed, he was still unimaginably thin and his hair was still thrown back by flight. The small beady eyes sunk back in his head flicked around quickly before settling on Sojiro.

"This doesn't seem like the place a former member of the Juppongatana would run to," he said gruffly. Sojiro just shrugged, taking his hand off the hilt of his sword cautiously. Hennya narrowed his eyes slightly. "You still haven't quite let go of the past have you? You still trust no one."

Ignoring the second statements, Sojiro nodded his head and smiled. "I just kind of ended up here. I just walked a few days and came here. It was nice so I decided I should stay a while. I just stayed a little longer than I thought I would." Sojiro stood straight, the presence of Hennya relieving in a sense, but also a reason to put his guard up. If he had remembered correctly, none of his former allies were on his side anymore. The small black peas narrowed to mere slits on Hennya's face, focusing on Sojiro's placid face a moment.

"You are a different person now. Anji had noticed it as well. When Hoji finally woke, he immediately went into a long lecture on both of your fights with the Battousai, Shishio and yours. It was strange though, when he came to your battle, all he said was things went wrong and you were defeated. It seems Yumi was too preoccupied to disclose many details."

"Understandably. How did Yumi die?" Sojiro asked quickly, the burning question in his mind finally freed from its cage. Hennya paused a moment, looking into the sky briefly before looking back at the young Tenken.

"Shishio killed her. He thrust right through her heart to the Battousai."

"I had guessed it was something like that."

"Then he followed her to the grave by his curse."

"Of course."

"Hoji and Usui also passed. Hoji by his own hands and Usui by the wolf."

"I had just been informed about Hoji, but Usui perished as well? This was unexpected. I figured if anyone survived it would have been Usui." Sojiro paused, pursing his lips in thought for a moment. "How did the raid at the Oniwaban hideout go?" Sojiro asked, his smile as emotional as it had been before his fight with Kenshin. Hennya bowed his head slightly, blinking his eyes.

"I was defeated by the youngest child there. Fuji by the Battousai's master and Kamatari by his woman."

"And Iwambo?"

"By himself and his lack of pride. The pink baboon deserted us."

"Honestly, I would have expected nothing less from Iwambo." Sojiro laughed while Hennya nodded in agreement. The lingering fear of Hennya slowly died away. He obviously was no threat to him at the moment. "I heard you became a spy though."

"I did. Everyone else took other government jobs that fit them except for Anji. He chose to serve his time. What did you become?" Hennya asked quietly. Sojiro paused and look at the sky, admiring its beauty for a moment before sighing and smiling at Hennya.

"Hennya, I feel I should be honest with you. No one else in the Juppongatana knows of the details in my battle except those that are dead. I'm sure that Hoji told you all he knew, but he also wasn't there. Anything he knew was secondary from what Yumi managed to utter before the Battousai showed. I sure she left out the biggest detail of them all. During my battle with the Battousai, I got angry," Sojiro said simply, his smile growing more benevolent as Hennya's presence seemed to darken. He knew what that meant well enough. He knew what emotion was to the Tenken. Sojiro continued slowly. "I thought about my past with Shishio, when I knew what feeling was suddenly they were there again. The Battousai followed a truth that contradicted that of Shishio's and they both collided and exploded and I just couldn't control myself anymore. I haven't been able to since and they won't go away. Himura has cursed me." Sojiro sighed, smiling somberly at the ground. "He told me to go find my own truth, which I will, but Shishio has been etched into my memory and I cannot just abandon what he said."

"You will. We all did. To him we were the ones that would die. You don't seem to take the gift of mercy with a grateful hand. You never gave that gift to anyone and even though they begged, you thought they meant freedom and didn't hesitate to steal their last breath. You Sojiro, the 18-year-old prodigy, were not taught the ways of the gentler world. You've been governed by Shishio's harsh dictation all your life. Someday you will find someone to shed light upon your dark world."

"Someone?" Sojiro echoed quietly, staring at Hennya with wide blue eyes.

"Yes. Someone who knows the world you don't. A woman." Hennya finished and spread out his makeshift wings, and flew away from Sojiro. In a panic, Sojiro chased after him, calling his name. He braced himself against the bridge's boundaries and watching Hennya disappear beyond the clouds.

"I needed to know more," he whispered, leaning on his elbows. Most of the information he wished to know he had already acquired through the help of Mr. Notaru. Now the only thing left to find out was how the Battousai himself chose to live his life now that his abilities as the manslayer were no longer needed and that would take a while.

Slowly he turned from the bridge, Sojiro took a moment to frown in the direction Hennya had fled before making his way back to Yasue's house. The meeting with Yoshi had been uneventful and concluded quickly, giving him plenty of time to speak with Notaru. But still, the time had passed quicker than he expected. The days were getting shorter and the nights longer. With winter creeping up on them, or already upon them, the temperatures were dropping quickly.

He quickly dropped in at Shizokuma's to pick up whatever food she felt she could spare and then walked quickly back to Yasue's.

This should be good enough," Mitsumei said, popping her lips and smiling. "You look like a goddess."

"Do goddess' feel as silly as I do?" Yasue mumbled, frowning at her reflection in the mirror. Mitsumei clicked her tongue; she's been making those strange noises the whole visit. Without waiting for an okay from Yasue, Mitsumei had taken the liberty of dressing Yasue up in the large black kimono which she realized was not only oversized, but also it was thin and almost see through with cuts and tears expertly placed everywhere so that it barely covered her but wasn't frayed enough to fall apart. "Shizokuma certainly put that poor kimono through the works," Mitsumei had laughed. She had then tied a thick black sash around her waist and flared open the top much to the discomfort of Yasue.

"I think I can do this on my own Mitsumei." Yasue coughed as Mitsumei began adjusting the clothes again. The kimono was a lot longer than Yasue had first thought. The bottom hem splayed about a yard away from her feet making a ring around her. Mitsumei had just finished tying the last piece of silver through Yasue's raven hair when the soft sounds of footsteps were heard outside. "Mitsumei I _really_ don't want to do this. I don't think Sojiro will know what you're trying to do!" Yasue pleaded quietly, not wanting to alert Sojiro, her eyes flicking desperately to the kimono she wore before. How she wished she had never taken it off to replace it with this black one. How she wished she had been prudent enough to realize anything Mitsumei and Shizokuma were in on together was just bad, bad, bad news. Mitsumei peeked out the door then turned and grinned at her mischievously.

"He's sitting out there eating the snow again. What a child. Anyway, sit down." She laughed, pushing Yasue back onto her butt. The slit in the kimono, already parted, split to reveal most of her leg. She was too horrified by what she heard next to fix it or to try and strip to get back into her old kimono. For what reason she had let Mitsumei get so far she had long since forgot.

"Oh, Sojiro? You better go tell Miss Yasue you're here. She was worried about you."

Sojiro mumbled something back and then the thumps of footsteps were advancing towards her room. Yasue took a deep gulp of air and tried to steady her breathing, but instead it seemed to quicken instead of slow. Thankfully, when he walked in, his eyes were averted to the package in his hands. Carefully, he set it on the floor by the door and shut the shoji quietly. "I'm sorry I took so long. I know I said it would be quick, but I met an old friend and we talked for a while an um… Miss Yasue?" Sojiro asked, looking around the room. Finally his eyes settled on her and he covered his eyes, stumbling back and tripping over the food and knocking it over as he fell into the wall behind him. "M-miss Yasue!" he stuttered, standing up and covering his eyes with his other hand as well.

The fact that she was wearing a see through kimono isn't what had surprised him. It had been the fact that the only things that were covered were what need to be and only barely. Even the sleeves had cuts on them that showed her pale skin.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Sojiro! I-I di-did-didn't…" she began, almost on the verge of tears with a mixture of humiliation and regret. Sojiro slowly took a step foreword and tripped over the package again and fell into Yasue, bumping heads. They paused for a minute to rub them, but Sojiro's eyes were open and focused on her, studying her transformation.

So he hadn't been mistaken, she was wearing makeup. Just a small shadow to darken her lids and a faint enhancement on her cheeks, but her lips were a dark purple, glistening, alluring. He stared for a moment, eyes flicking to her shoulder and chest before he blushed and closed his eyes. "Mitsumei kinda did it. I'm sorry. I let her and I shouldn't … have…" she whispered, trailing off with her apology as Sojiro reached up and gently wiped away her plum lips with his sleeve to reveal the rose ones below.

"You don't have to be sorry," he said, running his thumb across her soft lips. "It looks very nice." He smiled, eyes lowered to her mouth instead of raised to her eyes which stared at him overwhelmed. The last thing she had expected was this kind of a reaction. She had expected his head to blow up with confusion, but definitely not at his acceptance and understanding of the situation. Yasue tried to hold them in, but a few tears leaked past her lashes and trailed down her face. "Why are you crying?"

"This is the only way I could be useful to you. I can't do anything else to help you. Other than this I'm useless." She closed her eyes, hiding the green behind the soft shades of purple. Sojiro let his fingers slip down from her lips and pushed himself up a little higher, kissing a vertical line down her face, stopped at her quivering mouth.

"You are more useful to me than you know."

_Someday you will find someone to shed light upon your dark world._

"You do more for me than you think I do for you."

_Someone who knows the world you do not. _

Sojiro kissed her softly, his hands reaching up to cup her face.

_A woman._

"Yasue."

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Okay. Hope everyone liked that chapter though I have a strong feeling I'm going to get flames for it. Anyway, next chapter, if no one has guessed it is a bit of a sour lemon. I'm probably going to post it in my journal since I hear that lemons aren't allowed (right?). Anyway, it would fit with my rating so.. I don't see what the problem would be. Anyway, I'm warning everyone now, it's a lemon.

This chapter I think took me a bit longer and it was just chock full of dialogue eh? Well, I felt I needed to have some. Hennya was kinda... random. Heh heh. I should really start thinking out my stories a little better. BUT! Good news, for those that like this story and wish me to update, I have free days coming up in which I don't have to work my tail off leaving me with some energy to SIT and tap some keys on this little keyboard o mine. Thanks for reviewing.


	10. Cracks in the Wall

**WARNING!  
This chapter is a lemon... ALL OF IT.  
If you are not open to a sexually active chapter, please progress no further.  
Thanks ;**

**Pantsed – **Thanks for the compliment! And I was going to post this in LJ because I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to post it in I heard that lemons were banned? But I'm hoping that my rating will prevent them from doing anything? Anyway, the parts I post on LJ are the same ones that I post on I don't change anything. Copy and paste, love.  
**? – **Oh yes, when the 'heavenly sword meets his woman… clothes will fly… and I certainly hope there isn't any OOC in here. I'm afraid their might be. Oh yeah, and I hope you get your wallet back. I need one. I finally got meself some cards to put it in and my purse is… sucky to say the least. And… I don't study, I don't have private tuition, and I do housework enough. Thanks for reminding me **rolls eyes**. Thanks for commenting again with your crazy life and all.  
"**Oro" Object – **You're back! Anyway, yeah, I fooled you huh? They did it before the battle. So there.  
**Smiling Blue-Clad Wanderer's – **Ack, yeah school for me in like a month. I hope I can get some more chapters up before then. I might get fired from work so that means more time too! Ack. And thanks for putting this story in your intinerary!  
**Some Slut – **I was worried that would spot it and delete the story. I've seen a lot of complaints about around the communities I'm in on Livejournal. I don't want my story deleted. I guess I'm posting it freely anyway.  
**Streetwise Girl – **Uh, sorry Miss. The whole chapter is a lemon, but I don't really think it should effect your understanding the rest of the story any. Just a warning, this isn't the only one. Sorry about that. Anyway, I wanted Hennya in there because I felt that Sojiro needed some kind of clarity given to him and there wasn't anyone in my story so far that could give it to him and I figured Hennya would be the most likely to find him since he flies around all over the place. Anyway, yeah, this is a lemon, the whole thing.  
**Erica Madarine – **Yeah, I got flamed. Haha, it's just some little kid thing that kids do so I figured since Sojiro is so juvenile himself that it just seemed to fit. (Plus it's cute so I added it : X  
**Genki Ninjagirl – **You make me happy miss. Just because you realize it's just a story and don't get mad at me and my OC because you love Sou so much. Haaaa…  
**Naughty Girl – **Yeah, I spelled his name wrong. But at least you knew who I was talking about. AND THANKS FOR LOVING MY OC! It always makes me happy to hear that. And yeah, the yellow chapter is here.  
**Another Baka – **Oye, bug grin. You're going to have to verbally illustrate that for me dear. I definitely want to know what it is. All I can picture is some old geeze getting off a motorcycle and smiling with all those pieces of flies and mosquitoes stuck in his teeth. (If that's what it is then I would suggest a good tooth brushing.) XD

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**Chapter Ten – Cracks in the Walls**

_Are you crying?_

Sojiro's hand drifted slowly to her hair, plucking a small decorative ornament from her hair and fingering it a moment before smiling at it and then at Yasue. "It's pretty," he mumbled, placing it on the floor next to them. Yasue was too flushed to reply, just concentrated on breathing. For once, it was time that Sojiro did the acting and Yasue play the role of embarrassed partner and not the other way around.

And he didn't mind.

With the ornament out of her hair, Sojiro gently placed his hands on the curve of her neck, sliding down it until the fabric of the soft black kimono brushed against them. Their lips played around each other for a moment before softly connecting just enough for a sensation. While he distracted her with his small kisses, the black kimono was unnoticeably slid down her shoulders until it rested in the crook of her arms. Their lips pressed a little harder against the other as Sojiro's hands left her arms to trace the protrusion of her collarbone.

It didn't feel wrong anymore. Any thought of his past catching up to him was lost. He was moving in a blur, hand movement and actions surprising him more than they surprised Yasue. When his tongue darted into her mouth quickly, he was tempted to back off and recollect himself, take a breather, but he found that even that kind of power had been lost as well. She pushed her body up against his, adding her own into the kiss.

All the apprehension he had felt before, the fear and the embarrassment, it seemed to be replaced by some kind of bravado he had never experienced before. That need to prove to her that he was worthy, that he could do it, that he could make her happy, it was confusing. For what reason he would feel this way was completely lost. The only thing on his mind was to make her smile, to make her say that she loved him and always would. Still, he wasn't sure if he would feel as excited as he felt now when she did finally divulge those three words to him.

The heat from her skin was soaking into his hands. Her arms were pushed flat between them, her fingers barely able to curl over his shoulders. With his hands spread firmly against her back, he moved her slowly to the futon, laying her back onto the soft clothe gently, moving his hands down to just above the sash and lifting her up. Her head leaned back, not following him up and he began kissing her neck, her collarbone, and her shoulders. His throat constricted slightly as he realized just how hot it was getting in the room, how stuffy it seemed how his clothes seemed to stick to his back.

Yet again, a haze of confusion descended upon him as he remembered what he had told her the other day, what he had said about not touching her, about contamination, it meant nothing to him right now. Even though he remembered, remembered how he had felt, nothing seemed to penetrate to him at the moment. Now that he had gotten a taste of the forbidden fruit, he knew he wouldn't stop until the whole thing had been consumed.

Finally breaking through her shocked paralyses, Yasue remembered where she was and whom she was with and her fingers began fumbling with the task of removing Sojiro's gi. The boy didn't seem to notice her sudden drive and was still working on covering every part of her with kisses from the elbows up. He helped her to remove the gi once the ties had been undone and then her clumsy hands began working on his shirt. Sojiro, pausing in his task, looked down at her hands and laughed, as they couldn't seem to even push the first button through the hole. Yasue smiled, watching as he took her hands away and undid them himself.

"Did you like the kimono?"

"Yes, but I liked what was inside the kimono even more."

Yasue's cheeks flushed at the comment, her cheeks standing out against her pale face. Her black hair was splayed around her head, covering the whole pillow and dripping onto the floor. When Sojiro had finally finished with the last button and looked back up, he saw the perspiration on her face and even though they hadn't done much yet, he knew it was from the excitement; her eyes showed it. They were so bright, an electrifying green so intense in chroma they practically glowed.

Today was not going as he had planned, but the change in itinerary seemed to suit him right now. The distraction was welcome from all the drama that had been going on lately. Half in a daze, Sojiro shifted all his weight unto his left arm, head resting on his shoulder, and let him fingers drag across her skin, feeling the warmth from it. It was ironic, her skin was so white it seemed to give a snowflake color, but the heat he felt from it was comforting to say the least. It was tempting to lie down and fall asleep but no matter how appealing the thought was, the adrenaline running through his body was going to make that impossible to accomplish.

Shifting his weight and leaning down again, Sojiro let his breath push against her skin and then closed his mouth around it, pulling the fire from it into his mouth. Her hands, the only frigid part of her body, raised and flattened themselves against his chest causing him to arch away. With a small gasp he grabbed them in his own and hands and slowly replaced them so they weren't such a shock. They stared at each other for a moment, expressions placid and hesitant. Then her hands left his chest and slowly migrated to his hakama, eyes still connected, waiting for a change, waiting for a sign to stop, but their wasn't any, none visible at least.

Deep inside Sojiro's stomach, he was beginning to twist and knot and his hidden insecurity seemed to heat the air as it entered his lungs, burning him from the inside. Even though he had gone into this well aware of what he was doing, he had quite forgotten his chance of being undressed in the process. It was something he was not ready for and with each knot that was undone, his stomach did about a dozen flips. As soon as the last knot was done and the cloth fell away from him, he slid a hand under Yasue's back and lifted her to him, flinging her flimsy sash towards the wall. The black kimono didn't open as he had expected it to and he found himself grateful. "Are you sure you want to do this Yasue?" he whispered, trying to mask his own distress with hers, but she had none. His hand gripped the kimono sides together so they wouldn't open.

Yasue's blinked, grabbing his hand and holding it for a moment before taking the loose grip away, finding it released the fabric more willingly than she had anticipated. "I do," she responded, taking the free hand and slipping it under the kimono placing it at the apex of her legs. Sojiro's hand straightened, fingers curved away from her body. "I want this."

Sojiro gulped and nodded, blush added to his cheeks as his juvenile demeanor returned to him. Nonetheless, his hand closed around her and she lifted her knee, showing Sojiro what exactly he was touching and he once again had the urge to lean back and take a repose for a moment so he could come to the full realization of what he was doing, but he didn't have that chance anymore.

Then his hand was pushed aside and Yasue had pulled his waist in with her legs, kicking down the sliding hakama and lunging up to wrap her arms around his neck. Sojiro's locked arms broke and he fell down with her, wide eyed and crimson. She opened her eyes to look at him, green eyes concealed by dropping eyelids. "Please," she said, almost inaudibly, her fingers digging into his back slightly. Sojiro took a deep breath and did as he was asked, touching her face nervously when her head craned back and she gasped. He had felt it, that quick explosion of pleasure, but her gasp had sounded _painful_. Sojiro peered at her nervously, trying his best not to move and he watched Yasue who seemed frozen, her face pointed behind them towards the wall, eyes shut tight. Suddenly she shivered and looked up at him, smiling. "Don't be afraid. It's okay." She pushed herself off of the ground and kissed him lightly on his lips, readjusting her arms on his neck so they weren't so constricting.

Sojiro tried restraining himself, tried to keep still, but the more he tried, the more he kept fidgeting, the more he felt that feeling that felt so foreign, so taboo. Soon he just gave in and complied with her wishes and she was soon gripping the blankets around her tightly, face contorted in a mixture of pain and pleasure. A feeling crept up on him, like he was about to burst, but he couldn't seem to stop. In fact the feeling made his speed increase even more and then he was shuddering, release coming fast to him. He bent him elbows and lowered himself down to Yasue who tugged on him with her arms. Exhaustion swept over him and he pulled the blanket over and covered them with it, taking a deep breath to calm himself.

Their bodies were slick with sweat, weak and limp. Yasue held him close to her, letting him slide off to the side and snuggling in as close as she could to him. It was tranquil now, not even a small hint of the excitement that had been experience earlier detectable. Yasue's breathing relaxed and soon she was asleep, soft against him, arms tangled in his and woven into the blankets.

Sojiro stayed awake finding that he couldn't rest even though his body was exhausted. Something inside him said that he had little time left. Something inside him said it wouldn't be long before he'd have to draw his sword again.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry if this took a long time. I've been at workin the morning (that means getting up early) and I'm not one who can function without 18 hours of sleep. So... this took a bit longer even though it's relatively short. ANYWAY! Hopefully I'll be able to get the nextstupid chapter up REAL soon. Sorry for making all you folks wait, but you know how busylife can be (and how lazy a sixteen year old girl can be wink)


	11. Her Last Secret

**Babygirl – **AHHH! Contamination! Dear sweet child! Avert your gaze! No no, I'm just joking. Glad you liked it. When I wrote it at the time in my notebook, it was my first lemon, but I've had plenty of practice since then and I'm happy with the way it came out.  
**Some Slut – **O.O it was supposed to be soft because I know I have younger readers and I'm not really into hardcore lemons. Not yet at least.  
**Yuna (FFX) – **Oh yeah! You're most welcome. Thanks a lot for reviewing!  
**Huge – **LOVE YOU!  
**? – **Ack… no monnies? That sucks majorly. I'm uh, well, there's been some stuff coming up which I guess is why this took so long to finish. I'm going to be a student again in like… three days. And I have so much to do. I have books to read! OH NO!  
**Charming Woman – **yeah sorry about the length. Bwahahaha. You defiantely have it this time and it's amazing isn't it that I decided to cut this chapter in half? There was four more written pages (front/back) in my notebook. I figured it would take too long and BE too long.  
**Cathy Mark – **Hee hee. Thanks. I'm glad you enjoy it.  
**Streetwise Girl – **Glad I didn't freek you out. Haha. I did try and tone it down for you though. Not that it was really all that hard core in my notebook either. Thanks for venturing into it.  
**Wood Worm – **Haha. Smelling Salts! HURRY! Thanks. I'm glad you liked it!  
**Mischievous Lass – **Bwahahahaha. Thanks.

* * *

Sorry for the delay with the story. I sincerely apologize. There's been a lot happening. I can almost garauntee that the next chapter will have the same delay as this one unless things get better. Apologies again. I will try my hardest. I think the reason this one was so slow was because in my notebook this chapter was about eleven pages front and back. And I write tiny folks. Smaller than size ten font on word. Anyway, I split this chapter in two and I am deleting a negligible chapter later on. Dont worry. If I didn't like it, you wouldn't either. Anyway, the next chapter will be a little shorter than this one. Er. rambling. Here.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven – Her Last Secret **

_In Reality…_

Sojiro woke up slowly, coming out of his hazy sleep at a snail's pace as the sun from outside shone brightly on his face. Yasue was sleeping soundly in his arms, stomach pushing up against his arms slightly as she inhaled and retreating as she exhaled. Her soft scent of flowers filled the room and wrapped around her slender body in a tight little fragrant blanket. The breath from her parted lips grazed his neck softly as she slept. The body against him had lost the heat from the night before and he pulled the blanket tightly around them, not wanting her to be in the least bit cold. Better now for her to be hot than to be even just a tiny amount cold. Unfortunately, in his exaggerated care he woke her and her green eyes, now smoldered compared to just a few hours ago, looked up at him lethargically.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he said quietly. She just stared at him, not quite registering his words and not even halfway awake. Then she smiled and closed her eyes again. She pushed herself into him, bare legs curled up against his stomach as she crunched into a ball. The black kimono had crumpled beneath them, wrinkling. The other kimono she had been wearing was thrown across the room to the wall, bunched into a heap. Even with the covers on top of him he felt naked and exposed, like he was thrown out onto the streets and shown for what he really was. Without his clothes he felt like Yasue would be able to see the killer inside of him because she was already through one of his barriers. If he just reached over a little bit he would be able to grab both his gi and his shirt, but the hakama was lost under the tangle of legs beneath the blanket.

With a quick look to Yasue he slipped out of her hands and began dressing himself quickly, not wanting her to wake up and see him as he was. When he was done he looked back at Yasue and found himself blushing. She was revealed as well. A deep regret filled him seeing her there innocently sleeping even after the horrible thing he had done to her. Now there was no saying she was pure because she wasn't. She had had him inside her, touching her, kissing her; there was no denying that he had contaminated her. She was… stained.

He grabbed her previously discarded kimono from the wall and picking her up from her position in the bed, averting his eyes from her body and trying his best to dress her and let her sleep as he blindly tried to accomplish his task. He figured Yasue should probably get her sleep. She wasn't used to exerting so much energy like he was. "Good morning Sojiro," she mumbled, leaning foreword and clumsily kissing him. For a moment he thought perhaps she had woken up, but she closed her eyes again and fell asleep in his lap.

_Someone to shed light on your dark world._

So Yasue would show him a world he never knew? It's true, he thought, she already had, but he didn't understand one bit of it. Was he supposed to feel this way after making love? It confused him immensely, yet he felt a desire to do it again, a strange tingling in his stomach and his fingers that urged him to strip Yasue right out of her kimono, but he resisted, finding the thoughts disgusted him somewhat. He wasn't that kind of person was he? And what kind of person would that make him if he acted on impulse and did what his brain told him? Still, he already felt guilty enough having taken Yasue once, he wasn't ready for the feeling to be doubled yet.

Sojiro smiled and looked down at Yasue, brushing a piece of her hair away from her eyelids. He had been so preoccupied with protecting Yasue that he hadn't had much of a chance to think of that truth he was searching for. Then again he wasn't sure if it bothered him much or not.

Sojiro grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around Yasue's back, making sure he feet were covered and her hands were safely tucked underneath. He had to leave eventually to go see Yoshi and he hoped that Yasue would wake up before then so he could say goodbye. Going out might not have been the best idea at the moment. If conditions were different he would have taken her with him, but it was cold and she was already risking sickness every time she went out. Plus it would only be a little while and he would get back as soon as he could. The Gundashi wouldn't have enough time to get to her.

Still, the threat was real to both of them now. Even leaving her alone for a little while could mean Yasue's death and he no longer felt safe about her being with someone else's company for protection. If the Gundashi had an outside source, it had to be someone close to Yasue, someone who would be able to disclose important information, valuable information. Still going after Yasue for her income at the broken store seemed a little… extreme. It hadn't been that much to begin with and wouldn't she have used some of it by now especially if the shop still wasn't back in order. Why would they put up such a fight? What if they had come last night?

His stomach curled uncomfortably as he gazed at his sword abandoned by the door. If he had needed it, even his Shukuchi wouldn't have gotten him to that door fast enough. Plus, with his newly realized emotions, fighting naked would have been a sever disadvantage. Sojiro looked at Yasue, suddenly feeling stupid. He had put her in so much danger last night because he couldn't control himself. He couldn't, no, he wouldn't let that happen again. Yasue was the most important thing to him right now. Loosing her would be loosing himself.

And he didn't want to loose himself again.

"Sojiro!"

The shoji was thrown open loudly to reveal a panic stricken Yoshi. "Sojiro! We've gotten word from the Gundashi!" he yelled, waking Yasue. She lifted her and blinked sleepily, using her fist to try and wake herself. Yoshi glanced at her, but otherwise ignored her presence in the room. "They want a map, Sojiro. She's got a map to their money. They said if she hands it over they'll let her go," Yoshi said excitedly, like the matter would relieve a burden upon his shoulders instead of the couple he screamed at.

"But what about Sojiro?" Yasue piped in, pushing herself up into a sitting position and turning towards Yoshi. He looked down at her and cleared his throat, tugging on his shirt and looking at the ground. Yasue looked down at her chest that lay slightly exposed and squeaked out in surprise and adjusted herself, turning back to face Sojiro, her face redder than the sun. "Did they say anything about letting Sojiro go?"

"Um… no, but if you give back the map then he won't have to worry about protecting you when he fights. They promised to keep their hands off of ya if you hand it over."

"I can't," Yasue mumbled, bowing her head.

"Didja loose it?"

"Do you know how much money is in there?" she yelled indignantly, hands fisted in her lap. Yoshi and Sojiro just stared at her in astonishment.

"Miss Yasue, not is not the time to be greedy," Sojiro whispered in awe, looking down at her in a disapproving way. She bit her lip and frowned.

"I'm not! I have the map for a reason. The Gundashi all swore allegiance to one leader who they thought was just and that leader was my father. When he died he gave me the map and told me to make my decision."

Yoshi and Sojiro gazed at her for a moment, soaking in the information. The young Tenken found that his ability to speak had been completely stripped and all he could do was look at her with shocked eyes. Yoshi spoke first.

"What decision?" he asked quietly, eyes narrowed in renewed suspicion.

"Whether to show the Gundashi members the map or to run. I was sixteen when he left me and the Gundashi had become my brothers and sisters. They trusted me as I trusted them, but when they told me of their plans I couldn't follow through. They wanted to be the strongest in all Japan. I ran in hid in this town shortly after, staying with Mitsumei until I was old enough to have my own shop."

"Why did you run?" Yoshi asked, voice still soft in amazement. Yasue's eyes began to glisten with tears and she looked up at him sadly.

"To be considered the strongest, you must have an unsurpassable skill and weapon. What we gained in skill, we lacked in weapon. Our swords and arrows were no longer considered the most deadly. They wanted guns. My father's fortune was ample enough to supply arms to every member of the Gundashi and bullet enough to take out twenty police squads. My father's name would be remembered by brutality and bloodshed. I couldn't let them go through with it," she sobbed, grabbing Sojiro's gi and pulling it into her face.

"So if the Gundashi get the money they'll become the most lethal and feared in all of Japan! Where is the map?" Yoshi inquired anxiously. Yasue deflated into Sojiro and continued crying, shaking her head into his stomach.

"Yoshi…" Sojiro cut in, giving his friend a halting look. "That's enough. The less people who know of the maps location, the more protected the secret is," Sojiro paused, closing his eyes. "So you were a member of the Gundashi?"

Yasue twitched and nodded, looking up at him in shame. She would have told him if she had thought he wouldn't walk away. But she didn't know Sojiro as well as she liked to let on and what he would have thought of her had he found out was going to be a surprise. "Are you upset that I didn't tell you?" she asked. Sojiro shook his head and looked over at Yoshi who stood uncomfortably by the shoji as he tried to ignore the two.

"Have we discovered who the outside source is yet?" Sojiro asked with a flat voice. Yoshi bowed his head and shook it. Figured. Obviously if the person was able to give up Yasue, they ought to be pretty good at hiding it. In the Juppongatana, such duplicity had not existed. If a member hated another, it was openly known. Even Ousie knew enough that plotting outside of the group would result in his immediate extermination. "There is a man who is waiting for me at the bridge. Tell him I won't be able to show up tonight and that I am sorry for leaving him in the cold. Please also tell him that Himura Kenshin has been pulled to the top of the list," Sojiro added, nodding to Yoshi who walked out of the room almost immediately. "So they're finally coming…"

Yasue averted her eyes in shame. "I'm sorry Sojiro. I'm sorry that I couldn't make this easier for you."

"You can't and I understand. I thought that there was a greater reason for them coming for you. I didn't think getting revenge would be enough for them to track you so mercilessly."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Yasue asked, staring hard at the floor between them. If Sojiro had suspected something all along, why wouldn't he have voiced his suspicions?

"What point was there? Even now, knowing why they want to come after you doesn't benefit me at all, really," Sojiro frowned. It would be easier on him if Yasue was assured her safety, but if the Gundashi threat were true, then it was even more hazardous to get her off the hook then he'd thought. _He'd _have to deal with them no matter what, but Yasue… she must be protected at all costs.

Sojiro smiled to himself and pushed Yasue up by her shoulders so she was looking at him. "You don't have to worry Miss Yasue. They won't get the map and they won't get you. I won't let that happen," he said. Yasue reached up and cupped his face in her hands, tears once again forming by the sides of her eyes as she shook her head sadly.

"Sojiro, if they get one they get the other. Carrying around a treasure map isn't safe so I memorized what I needed to know and disposed of it, burned it. So… there is no map, just me." She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand, taking a deep breath and steadying herself. There wasn't any use crying about it. If she had thought she could hide the secret from someone like Sojiro then she would have been a fool. Eventually she had planned to tell him, but not in a situation like this.

Sojiro moved his hands from her shoulders to her neck, placing his thumbs right under her jaw and smiling. "Then I won't let them get you. I won't leave you until this is over. I promise you that nothing will hurt you while you are under my protection." Sojiro slowly wiped a tear away with his finger, letting it run down the back of his hand and fall into her kimono. It was snowing again outside, he could see it through the shoji Yoshi had left open. The soft white fluff was drifting up onto the porch, hugging close to the wooden pillars. At least it wasn't windy, though the chill of winter was still creeping into the room rather quickly.

Yasue shivered, letting her ands fall from his face and into Sojiro's lap, resting her head by his shoulder. "Are you cold Miss Yasue? Would you like a blanket?" Sojiro whispered. She nodded and reached behind her, grabbing the blanket from the bed and pulling it around the both of them. She pushed herself up into Sojiro's lap, keeping their heat together inside of the cotton blanket. "Are you hungry?"

"A little bit, but I don't want to eat right now," she said, closing the blanket tightly around them. "I just want to sit with you like this for a while. If you don't mind."

Sojiro adjusted himself on the floor, unfolding his legs from under him and sitting cross-legged with Yasue inside. "We can eat later, but we shouldn't wait too long. You didn't eat last night," he said, nodding to the abandoned package of Shizokuma's cooking. Yasue just closed her eyes against Sojiro and sighed, her free hand slipping into his gi and resting on his shirt. "You can't get any better if you don't have the energy," Sojiro said quietly. If he were just a little closer to the door he would be able to grab it and eat it right where he sat, but it was out of his grasp.

"What are you thinking about?" Yasue asked, turning in his gi so her face was in his neck. Sojiro eyes the food longingly and looked down at Yasue, swallowing hard.

"I'm thinking about food," Sojiro chuckled, propping Yasue up. "I'm not really all that complicated Miss Yasue. Let's eat now. I don't think I can wait too much longer," he said, pushing the bewildered Yasue off of his lap and onto the floor. He crawled sideways and grabbed the small box of food, dragging it over to him. When his hands touched the white paper box, he couldn't help but feel a little excited. With yesterday's activities and the fact that dinner hadn't been eaten, he was ready to eat. "I'll go get some wood for the fire. You stay here and try and keep warm in that blanket." Sojiro left the room, closing the shoji with a small grin.

Once he left, Yasue suddenly felt it. The small musty room suddenly felt empty. Perhaps she had grown so accustomed to Sojiro's presence that being without made her feel alone, but the walls around her opened, stretching so far away in the distance she couldn't even see them. Then she was stuck in the middle of the floor, the only thing to grab onto was the blanket around her shoulders and she clutched it tightly lest it fly away into the distance like the rest of her surroundings. She resisted the urge to call out to Sojiro, knowing he would come back soon, that he hadn't left, just for a minute to retrieve some wood. She was just exaggerating.

Had Sojiro been gone long? She hadn't been keeping track. Did something happen while he was out there? She hadn't seen him take his sword. What if the Gundashi showed up and found him without a weapon? What would he do? Wait. Wait just a little longer. She closed her eyes and began counting, thinking it would help her stomach to unwind, that it would help the walls creep back closer to her.

"Nine, ten, eleven."

_We must be the strongest. Do you agree?_

"Seventeen, eighteen."

_Yes, that's our goal._

"Twenty one, twenty two."

_I know how to achieve it. With that map we can do it. I know it!_

"Thirty one, thirty two."

_How?_

"Thirty five, thirty six."

_With guns._

"F-forty, f-f-forty on-ne."

Yasue gasped for air, gripping her stomach as fear clenched it in it's skeletal grasp. Was she even in the room anymore? Open you eyes, open them and find out.

_Guns guns guns!_

No Mikazu! No guns! Where's the floor? Where did it go? Please understand. How can we be skilled with guns? A gun requires no skill. You merely point and shoot. The Gundashi will not be degraded to that! Breathe Yasue!

"Yasue! Wake up!"

Yasue opened her eyes and looked at Sojiro, immediately sitting up and grabbing his face. "What's wrong?" she asked quickly, looking at his pale face. His eyes seemed to shrink and he pushed her back by her shoulders, staring at her incredulously. Then his head began to shake so slowly it was almost unnoticeable.

"Miss Yasue…it is I who should be asking you that question," he whispered. Yasue swallowed and looked around the room silently, eyes following the trail of mossy green wood back to the open door. She could feel the winter air creeping in and hiding quietly by the walls. His grip loosened in relief and he sighed, anxious concerned expression melting to reveal the calm and unreadable smile beneath it. It was always hiding under there it seemed. "As long as you're feeling better," he shrugged, rubbing her arm lightly before standing up. "I'll make a fire," he uttered happily, beginning to walk away.

"Wait!" she yelled quickly, falling foreword onto her stomach, arms outstretched, two fingers caught in the soft cotton fabric of Sojiro's hakama. He stopped and looked down at her in surprise, brow raised, soft blue eyes looking strangely at her tangled fingers. "Uh… I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that," she claimed sheepishly, retracting her hand. The shoji was shut and the ice demons that had crept inside silently melted away as the fire's heat drifted outward. "What did Shizokuma make us?"

Sojiro sat up and leaned away from the fire and frowned. "I didn't ask her. You could check, but I'm figuring because I didn't pay for it that it's just a few leftovers she had in her place. I wouldn't expect anything fancy." Sojiro chuckled a little, eyes red from the flames. Even with that, he still looked like a child, tranquil and serene by the fire.

Yasue crawled out from under the blanket, grasping the box in her hands and sliding the top off to inspect the contents inside. Considering it had been tripped over twice, the contents inside looked okay. The ramen below the rice balls had leaked a little, but other than that, everything was fine. "You were right. It's nothing fancy. Just some rice balls and a bit of ramen. How nice of Shizokuma to give us this," Yasue thought aloud, her voice flat. Sure it was nice of Shizokuma, but she'd be lying if she said she was happy with her options. It'd been a long time since she'd treated herself to something nice like beef pot stew. Sojiro turned his head and smiled at her.

"You act as though you're grateful, but you don't sound it Miss Yasue."

"There's nothing wrong with it."

Sojiro lifted his hands and warmed them with the fire. "Come over her and warm yourself up. I'll cook up the food for you. I want you to rest in front of the fire for right now," he said, getting up and walking over to her. She clutched the wooden box in a death grip as Sojiro squatted down next to her, smiling that frightening vacant smile. "How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, placing a hand on her back. Yasue's hands tightened around the box and she swallowed. Don't look at the smile, don't look at the smile, don't look at the smile…

Her eyes slowly turned upwards and looked at the smile. Instantly her body turned to ice and her mind was hypnotized. She put the box gently on the ground, eyes still pinned to the small curve of his lips, and then jumped on him, both of her hands slapped over his mouth to cover it. They both feel backwards, Sojiro enduring the impact. He closed his eyes as the fall shot a sharp pang throughout his body, but it was fleeting. He tried complaining, but his words were muffled by her hands.

"Don't do that," she mumbled, picked her head up off of his chest and looking at him. He frowned, but it only showed in his eyes.

"Won' oo' wa?" Sojiro asked, trying to pry her hands off of his mouth. Saying he was flustered by her spontaneous movements would have been an understatement.

"You can't smile like that," she yelled, letting her hands free his mouth and instead plopping them down on either side of his head. He blinked at her for a moment, grabbing her wrists and squeezing them before bursting out into a fit of laughter. "It's not funny Sojiro!"

"I'm sorry Miss Yasue, but I'm failing to understand how it is that I frighten you when I smile. Perhaps I should just not do it then? How exactly am I smiling?" he asked, lips spread into a wide grin, obviously still amused by his situation. Yasue frowned and sat up, putting all her weight on Sojiro's stomach in frustration. How could he find this situation so amusing? Wasn't she overtly frightened?

"When you smile you're supposed to feel it."

"I feel you on my stomach right now," Sojiro grunted, pushing back on her knees in hopes she would get up, but there wasn't much he could do to get her off without hurting her.

"When you smile 'that way' you're smiling without any emotion whatsoever. You have to feel it, Sojiro. It's like an unwritten rule."

"I _really_ feel you on my stomach."

"And you can smile, it's just you have to be happy. Smile when you're happy."

"Miss Yasue. I'm having trouble breathing. I think you're sitting on my lungs," he wheezed, taking a deep breath when Yasue lifted herself up to her knees. "So I can't smile?" Sojiro stared at her blankly, not sure what to do since he couldn't put on his usual face.

"You just can't smile like _that_."

"Why not?"

"It scares me," she whispered. Sojiro blinked again and grinned a moment before covering his mouth with both his hands. "You think it's funny don't you?" Yasue asked, frowning. Sojiro's eyes crinkled in amusement.

"A little maybe," he mumbled out through his hands. The pressure was put back on his stomach and the hands that had covered his innocent little smile moved to her waist and pushed hard, but couldn't even budge her a little. "Alright! Alright! It's not funny! I'll try not to smile, I promise!"

Then suddenly he was in a black curtain as Yasue's hair feel around him, her elbows by his ears as she leaned down into him and studied his face. "Your smile is cute, but it has to have emotion Sojiro." Her lips brushed against his neck, working her way up to his jaw line and then his mouth.

They lay there with each other, oblivious to the two visitors running up the path with news neither of them would be too happy to hear.

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Holy shamolie! That took a long time just to scroll through! Anyway, I'm almost done with my first notebook with this story. There's a whole nother half notebook with story in it. So, don't worry, this doesn't end anytime soon sigh. Plus, right after this one I have another ready to go. It's a yaoi fic waves finger. Do do do, anyway, I will most certainly try and get the next chapter up as soon as possible. OH yeah.

The in house fireplace thing. I saw it in Samurai X when Kenshin and Tomoe hid away, but I didn't know what it was called. SO... ya.


	12. Shattered

**Babygirl - **Thanks lovey! And yeah... he still calls her Miss >. and ... lovey, don't get me in any kind of trouble! Haha, but keep reading, I love your reviews! shh!  
**Hopeless Lady** - haha, it's funny, a lot of people had problems with the whole 'miss' thing. Dunno... he just does I spose. Bwahahhaa.  
**EK - **Yeah... I sorta saw the loss of the 'Sojiro-ness' a little too late. Then I didn't know how to fix it. Curses... but I figured, with the help of Yasue, his mad and confused perception of life would be smoothed out slightly. And you are welcome to say whatever you like, Miss, as long as it's constructive!  
**Streetwise Girl - **Hee hee, I'm so proud of them myself. I finally got around to typing out another chapter. A measly two pages, but enough I hope. Thanks for sticking in there with me.  
**Another Baka - **I really have no idea what your last comment was referring to... ;  
**bubblegun2000** - Bwahaha. Yes, silly indeed how he calls her Miss. But there had to be a better reason for the Gundashi to trail after Yasue other than having their pride dented from their plan of theivery being foiled... so I threw in that little plot twist.  
**Some Slut - **Heh, well yes, most of my little lemon is just a guess... but.. thanks for the credit I suppose.  
**Yuna (FFX) - **Oh lovey, you are most welcome! Glad I could make you happy!  
**Huge - **Thank you!

**Chapter Twelve – Shattered**

"Sojiro!"

Yasue looked up as the shoji was swung open, Sojiro craning his head back and watching Yoshi's face morph into that of horror as his gaze settled on the two of them. Then after a moment of silence, his face of disgust turned into a deep frown.

"Yoshi? What are you doing here?" Sojiro asked, still pushing himself up from the ground so he could see. Yoshi's frown pulled down farther and he looked away.

"What are you doing _there_?" he inquired, walking into the room uninvited. Behind him stood an old man, wringing his hands nervously to stop his shaking. "Come on old man," Yoshi snapped and the man jumped, hopping into the room and averting his eyes. Yasue kicked herself off of Sojiro and sat at his side, looking bashfully from one visitor to the other, then to Sojiro as he stood up and brushed himself clean.

"Mr. Notaru. What are you doing here? I apologize for not showing up at the bridge and I did say for Yoshi to tell you I would not be coming. I doubt anything you have to say is so important that you would trouble yourself with walking through this weather to tell me." Sojiro smiled, looking over at Yoshi with the same expression that was really, none at all. Yoshi seemed to recede slightly under Sojiro's gaze, but Sojiro didn't look away, just kept steady contact.

The fire in the room was glowing brightly though the logs had long since turned gray. Yoshi had already seated himself in front of it and Mr. Notaru beside him, still looking out of place. Sojiro turned and looked back down at Yasue, holding out his hand for her and guiding her to the fire to sit with the guests. The four of them were all seated around the warm glow of the fire, eyes focused on the jittery old man who's face seemed to age under the light of the flames. "What important news do you have for me Mr. Notaru?" Sojiro asked quietly, fingers pressing into his thighs.

"I was waiting on the bridge where we usually meet when I overheard a conversation between two young people wearing a matching uniform of black and red. When I turned to look it was a young man and a young woman, one with a sword strapped around his waist and the girl had some sort of weapon bound to her back, but because they were covered against the weather, I could not discern what kind they were," the man said excitedly. "They started talking about an attack, an ambush, and I started listening to what it was they were whispering between each other. They said something about a boy and a fight between him and the leader. I remember you mentioning something about an attack at one of our visits. I think they might be coming for you, Sojiro," he finished, hands sinking into his lap now that his mind had been cleared.

"Probably. Thank you, Mr. Notaru. So they must be planning their attack for tonight," Sojiro said quietly, smiling to himself for a minute before glancing at Yasue and frowning. Yoshi looked at Sojiro curiously before turning a death glare to Yasue who recoiled away from the gaze. Some swordsman he was if a ditsy young girl could soften him this much in such a short time. Mr. Notaru seemed to sense the tension between them and once again his hands engaged in their small jerky dance.

"You should go to the shelter of the captains safe house," Yoshi yelled, standing up. His fists clenched together as Sojiro peered up at him with the same half-smirk he always wore.

"Yoshi-"

"Wrap the broad in a blanket for goodness sake! She shouldn't be the reason you risk your life!" Yoshi screamed angrily. Sojiro stood up calmly and brushed himself off before staring directly into Yoshi's eyes. His eyes seemed to blaze with an alien sort of amusement, the same look of cunning and evil he had seen in them when they fought in the alley.

"You'd do it for Shizokuma-sama, Yoshi," Sojiro stated, almost in a mocking way though his voice didn't seem to harbor any of the scorn his eyes did. Yoshi gritted his teeth in rage.

"If there was a safer way, I'd take the chance and so would she." Yoshi shot a look of disgust at Yasue, who flinched and lowered her gaze. Sojiro's jeering face stared at Yoshi steadily. "You can't stay here. It's not safe Sojiro. You deserve to live!"

"Everyone deserves to live," Sojiro said sharply, gasping afterwards and furrowing his brow. He stared at Yoshi in dismay, taking a step back. A silence fell over the room as the three watched the boy who usually seemed so calm and collected, struggle in front of them. 'Everyone deserves to live!' his voice screamed at him. Senkaku… and all his other victims…

_You don't seem to take the gift of mercy with a grateful hand._

He gave Senkaku the gift of mercy…

_You never gave mercy to anyone and when they begged for it, you thought they meant freedom and did not hesitate to steal their last breath._

… and I took it away.

"Sojiro?" Yasue called quietly, standing up and clutching her hands to her chest. She'd never seem him so ruffled before and whatever it was that had upset him this badly, she could not tell. He looked frightened to death and equally enraged by the fact that he was afraid. "Are you okay?" Sojiro turned to her and blinked, shaking his head phlegmatically. "Sojiro, what's wrong?" Yasue asked tentatively, glancing at Yoshi who had gone from furious to stunned silent. Sojiro looked like a trapped animal, staring at the ground with wide eyes. Finally, he face fell to a frown and he peered at her. "Sojiro?"

"Is that true? Is that true what I just said?" Sojiro whispered. Yasue stared at him, not sure what to say. "Does everyone deserve to live?" he asked, his voice shaking with emotion.

"Yes. Everyone deserves to live."

"Then I… murdered…" Sojiro mumbled and Yasue tried to touch him, but he pushed her away passionately and threw himself into the cold of the outside, burying his hands into the snow so his fingers froze. "I murdered Senkaku. I'm a murderer. I killed them, but didn't they deserve to die? Didn't they? Saito had told me they did," he whispered to himself, thoughts erupting in his head so violently loud his head throbbed. He felt gentle hands flatten themselves against his back and he bowed his head to the sting of the cold below him and turned his head away from her. "You fell in love with a murderer."

"No, I fell in love with you."

"What do you think I am?" he muttered, dropping his head into the snow so the white snowflakes shriveled against his skin and turned it to ice. Yasue leaned over his body and hugged his shaking body tightly. He was a killer, cold blooded, unforgiving, guiltless. Why hadn't he realized it earlier? He'd had the blood on his hands for so long, but he had never once realized all the destruction he had wrought upon the people of Kyoto and the death he had almost plagued his very own Japan with.

"You may have been an assassin before, but what you are now is something completely different." Her voice cracked as the tears rolled down her face and Sojiro sat up to see them fall. She pulled him in roughly to her chest and sobbed over his shoulder.

Yoshi and Mr. Notaru watched from the door. Mr. Notaru's dusty gray eyes flicked to the young man next to him and his coarse voice emitted a grunt. "You're silly to be angry at them or _her_ I should say."

"I'm not anymore."

"No? Why not?" the man laughed. Yoshi looked at him, at the old man's bald white head and sighed.

"Because … she comforts him. I know the kids not exactly right in the head, but she's helping him through that. I realized when he asked _her_ if everyone deserved life," Yoshi said, turning his gaze away from the smirking elder and back to the couple in the snow. She's not making him stronger, he thought, but she's making him better.


	13. Yoshi's Farewell

**EK – **Ah yeah, I had trouble in real life and didn't have time to write. I've got everything written and finished in notebooks… but just didn't have the impetus to transfer them. Thanks. Oh yes, and infinite luck on your story!  
**Leona Westley – **Why thank you.  
**Kaiz – **Thank you. I figured, well in this story, Sojiro wouldn't realize he was a cold blooded killer until he was actually confronted. Or come to the full realization at least. And yeah, that other chapter was a little short. Thanks for the review!  
**Anonymous Freak – **Whoa, hold up, lovey. Heh heh. I think I'm back on the update train now. Look at how fast I popped this one out! That's a new record I do believe…  
**Sexy Gurl – **Heh… uh… sure?  
**Noname - **Weak minded Tenken… IT will be updated regularly I do believe. If I can help it…  
**Charming Woman – **Hai. They all need some rest.  
**Streetwise Girl – **HAHAHA! I read your review and laughed. The irony. I'm thinking this chapter will elicit feelings of great sadness. But yes, Yoshi needs a hug.  
**Chibi-Assassin – **Sojiro just finally realized who he was completely. I figured he hadn't really sat down and thought about what he had done in the past and just accepted it. But when he came out and said everyone deserved to live, he realized he was a hypocrite and his terrible past just resurfaced in a whole new light. Ha, it was a fun part to write though.  
**Mean – **I will never quit! BWAHAHAHA!

**Author's Note:** Weeeeellll, got this chapter out much sooner than expected. Hope it's not rushed or anything. Didn't think it was. Then again I finished it at one this morning so... who knows. OH GOODNESS! Next chapter is the big fight!

Well I'm sure everyone is happy to know that updates will now be occuring regularly and perhaps a lot faster. Faster than before! Oo, gasp. Welp, enjoy the 13th chapter. They are most _unfortunate..._

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Chapter Thirteen – Yoshi's Farewell

_The rest of the stuff he's got to figure out on his own…_

Sojiro carried Yasue through the dirt covered streets, hugging her close to his body and hugging the blanket around her frame so she would stay as warm as possible. Mr. Notaru walked by them, nodding his head in thought. Now that he had told Sojiro about the Gundashi, he felt much more relaxed. He was able to concentrate on more pressing matters. "Have you absolutely no evidence to ascertain the outside source? The attainment of this would prove most useful in your protection," he said, casting a sideways glance. "And I meant to ask you a question before about my new priority, Himura Kenshin." Sojiro nodded, looking at him. "Why did you change it?"

"I wanted to know how the Battousai lives his life now that his days of glory have passed and his unsurpassable skill is no longer needed," Sojiro mumbled, adjusting Yasue in his arms and looking straight ahead with a blank face. "I want to know what I should be doing with my life now that I've gone through the same thing."

"By comparing yourself to the Battousai?" Mr. Notaru gasped, stunned. His hand clutched his chest as though an arrow had pierced it and started to chuckle slightly. Yasue fidgeted in his arms and he could feel her questioning gaze upon him. It wasn't time for him to tell her exactly who he was yet. It wasn't the right moment.

"Yes. If you didn't know, our battle was, at one point, in my favor. In fact, if certain things hadn't changed, the victory would have been mine to claim. Unfortunately, I was effected by the Battousai's words and ended up loosing the fight. I decided I would travel for ten years as they had and come to my own truth to live by. Unfortunately, I had no idea what to do while I did this." Sojiro let his eyes fall to Yasue, a small smile spreading across his lips. Her pale face and green eyes stared back for a second before his hollow eyes forced her to look away. Something had come over him. The Sojiro carrying her wasn't the Sojiro she had been with for the past few days. Now he suddenly seemed cold and in her blankets and heavy kimono she shivered.

"Did you guys eat yet?" Yoshi called over his shoulder, pointing to Shizokuma's restaurant. "You guys might want to get at least one good meal before you are forced to eat the soldiers gruel. Just a suggestion." Sojiro nodded to Yoshi and followed him inside. It was obvious Yoshi wanted to tell Shizokuma where he was going and Sojiro decided he might as well let Yasue rest.

"Shizo-chan! You've got customers!" Yoshi yelled, smiling when Shizokuma popped her head out from the back and grinned.

"Yoshi? Thank goodness. This place has been dead all day long. I've had maybe two customers. This Gundashi thing better end quick or I'll go out of business." She laughed, setting them at a table and smiling at Yoshi. "So what can I get my good friends to eat?" She scanned over them, eyes temporarily paralyzed over Yasue's sickly face before focusing stubbornly on Yoshi. Sojiro frowned.

"Beef pot stew, I'll buy," Yoshi exclaimed, slapping the excited Mr. Notaru on the back. Shizokuma nodded and silently headed into the back, her previous excitement stripped. "How are you doing Yasue? Are you warm?" Yasue nodded and looked at the ground. Yoshi would have apologized if his pride had permitted it, but the only way to get permission would be if she was alone and no one else could hear him say it.

Yasue sat next to Sojiro, the blanket draped over her head and held close by her chin, head resting partly on her his shoulder. Shizokuma set out the bowls and chopsticks, returning with the stew a short while later. Sojiro took Yasue's bowl and served her, smiling as she pulled it into her blanket tent. "Are you really okay?" he asked quietly. She nodded, staring into the brown broth in the bowl. She wasn't hungry, not for this at least.

"Would you like some tea Yasue? It will help you to feel better," Shizokuma asked sweetly, her face contorted in some expression Sojiro didn't quiet understand. Whether it was worry or something completely different he didn't know. Emotions weren't necessarily his forte. Sojiro nodded when Yasue didn't and Shizokuma disappeared into the back. Yasue put the bowl of stew back on the table and sighed. She just wasn't hungry enough to eat it.

Sojiro watched her from the corner of his eye. He had cried for the first time since he killed his 'family'. His throat had began to sting and his stomach had clenched painfully; all that for a couple tears. He had been so confused and frustrated and then Yasue had agreed with him… confirming he was he was in fact a killer, but even afterwards she had stumbled out into the snow to comfort him while he sorted out his thoughts and tried to expel his feelings of guilt.

Sojiro took a bite of his food, chewing it slowly. He suddenly wasn't as hungry as he thought he was. He hadn't eaten anything all day and he had been deathly hungry before, but now he felt sick. Shizokuma returned and handed Yasue her tea. Yasue's hands trembled as she took the steaming drink, taking a small sip immediately. "Now I won't let you leave until that's all gone. This tea is perfect for relaxing your nerves," she said, nodding her head. For a moment her smile faltered and it began to suffer even more when Sojiro looked up at her, but before the young swordsman could try to evaluate it, she had disappeared into the kitchen.

Yasue sat sipping her tea, sighing as she drank it and smiling calmly to herself. Shizokuma was right; she could feel the tenseness in her shoulders and muscles relaxing. In fact, she felt a little sleepy. Mr. Notaru ate quickly, racing Yoshi for the last bit of soup while Sojiro sat chewing contemplatively on his first bite.

"Hey Sojiro, you gonna eat that or what?" Yoshi asked, eyeing his bowl hungrily. Sojiro stared at it a moment before handing it over to the grinning swordsman. Yoshi gloated for a moment, waving the bowl in front of the pouting old man, before eating it quickly. Then the two older men stood up and stretched, looking down at the hopeless Sojiro and laughing. Yasue had fallen on his side and gone to sleep.

"Would you like some help? It looks like she dozed off," Mr. Notaru laughed, leaning down and pulling Yasue off of Sojiro so he could stand. She opened her eyes and stood up slowly, swaying as she looked around groggily. Sojiro stood and grabbed her, lifting her into his arms and watching her as she planted her head into his chest and closed her eyes. With a short farewell to a rather jittery Shizokuma, they continued their journey to the captain's safe house.

The moon was out again and Sojiro found himself thinking of Shishio. It was true that the man had saved him once; not with his hands, but with his actions. Does that mean he went against his word and protected the weak? He had vowed himself that someday he would be stronger than Shishio and that the burnt man would be food to him. It would have made him proud. That had been his goal as a young swordsman, but he knew that even without his emotions burning deep in his chest, he never rivaled Shishio. The ruthless killer could have defeated Sojiro in one move. Even his Shukuchi wasn't fast enough to trick Shishio.

Sojiro hugged Yasue closer to him, feeling that strange bubble growing in his stomach. She was his shield from a breakdown, the last membrane against the worst emotional attack he could possibly suffer. He could feel it there, that fragile orb in his stomach, a balloon of anger and frustration, confusion, happiness, reret, loss, helplessness… and there were pins all around it, just waiting for the smallest movement to pop it and free all those raging feelings.

He never thought he'd put so much into one young girl with just as many problems as himself. The moon shone bright and full, a sphere of cream thrown up in the sky to brighten their path. The snow around them reflected it's soft light and gave the illusion it wasn't nearing midnight. With one piece of beef in his stomach, and one cup of tea in hers, they made their way towards the edge of town. Mr. Notaru was with them, though he couldn't really explain why.

He was a retired swordsman, no longer strong enough to hold a sword and not agile enough to dodge another. His ability to achieve information was what made him infamous in the underworld, but no one could quite explain his techniques. But Sojiro had needed information and anything affiliated with Shishio was under lock and key. It would take a good spy in order to find anything out.

Sojiro stopped and, holding Yasue with one hand, held the other out to halt Mr. Notaru. "Yoshi, draw your sword," he whispered, handing the bundled Yasue over to Mr. Notaru and placing his hand on the hilt of his own sword. Yoshi stopped and turned to Sojiro, drawing his sword and holding it out in front of him nervously. "There is someone else here." He focused on the presence, following it slowly as it paced.

Yasue opened her eyes and told Mr. Notaru to put her down, which he obliged to mostly because he was frightened by the appearance of the blade. To him it meant only one thing; it meant death.

Yasue struggled to stay standing through her haze. Suddenly she was so tired she could barely see. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep, but from the blurred silhouette of Sojiro, she could see his fingers suspended over his sword. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"The Gundashi are here," Mr. Notaru whispered back.

"Yoshi, go protect Miss Yasue," Sojiro ordered and unskilled swordsman obeyed at once and dropped back to stand guard over the old man and half-sleeping woman. Sojiro's stomach was curling in the most uncomfortable manner and he was tempted to drop his sword or even back away a few steps. Why, he didn't know, but he knew Shishio would have laughed if he did.

"We'll give you one last chance Sojiro Seta of the _Juppongatana_, to hand over _Miss_ Yasue and walk away without a scratch," a voice called out, a female voice, but it sounded as though the speaker didn't quite agree with the negotiations. Sojiro's foot slipped foreword and his eyes scanned the rooftops. He was ready to fight. "You're being stupid, but I can't say I'm disappointed that you want to fight," she laughed, stepping out of the shadows. She was young, maybe closer to Yoshi's age than Sojiro's, and she had two long kunai's sheathed on her back. She was wearing a black hakama and a tight red shirt so she wasn't hindered in trying to get her weapons. "My name is Taki of the Gundashi and I _want_ that _map_." She drew her kunai and glared at him demonically.

Sojiro gripped his own sword tightly. She was a fast one, but not as fast as himself or the Battousai, he could tell by her stance. That was his only advantage. His sword was too long to be of any use defensively and her short kunai's would prove to be more beneficial against his sword in both attack and protection. Any attack he could try to execute would be deflected and returned. His only hope of winning was using his speed to somehow get behind her like he had with the Battousai.

Taki laughed and returned her weapons to her back. "Unfortunately, I won't be able to fight you this time," she said, her eyes shifting behind Sojiro. He turned slowly, eyes widening as he saw the dark shadow of Mikazu slipping in behind Yoshi. Sojiro didn't have enough time to call out a warning, just stand paralyzed as the tip of Mikazu's sword became visible through Yoshi's stomach. Mr. Notaru was kicked to the ground and Yasue disappeared into the night with the Gundashi. "We'll be waiting for you Sojiro."

Yoshi laid on the ground, gasping for breath and clutching his stomach with his hand. He was trying to stand up or at least kneel. "Sojiro, Yasue," he stuttered, blood beginning to drip from the corner of his mouth. Sojiro was in front of him, looking bewildered. Yoshi was dying, but what was this feeling in his stomach? "Tell her I'm sorry for getting angry at her earlier. I'm sorry to you too. I didn't meant to." He winced in pain and looked at Sojiro desperately. "I didn't want to die. I wanted to be with… Shizokuma…" he whispered and his hand slowly loosened it's grip on his wound.

Sojiro watched the blood from his body soak into the dusty earth and stain his gi. Sojiro touched it, planted his hand flat into the puddle and stared as it clung to his hand. "I will tell them," Sojiro whispered, jumping up and running back to Yasue's home. As Sojiro disappeared into the distance, Mr. Notaru stood and brushed himself off.

"Well Yoshi, I guess it's just you and me now, old guy and dead guy. I'll go find you a bed to sleep in I suppose," Mr. Notaru said, looking at the man sadly. "It wasn't your time. It's so depressing to bury someone younger than you, but don't worry, I'll make it look nice. Now get up and we'll go." Mr. Notaru leaned down and swung Yoshi over his back, walking away to a place he knew would admit him.


	14. The Promised Opponents

**Charming Woman – **Well… if it's any consolation, I liked Yoshi too. But I had to do it. I'm sure you'll find out later. wink wink  
**Leona Westley – **Oh so many ways he could save her… hmm… but which way shall I choose? It is quite a great battle if you ask me, but who am I to critique my own work? AND YOU COMMENTED TWICE! Wonderful. Ah ah ha. And what do you mean by giving me something hot?  
**Mischievous Lass – **Bwaha. Yay! waves Sou flag  
**DemonSlayer205 – **Ooh gosh blush. Thanks so much. Those are a lot of compliments. I'll try my best to make it a high quality Sojiro story!  
**Wood Worm – **Ack, yeah, you and so many other people had a problem with that eeny meeny little oopsie I put in there. For shame I am. Suiyah. Shee. Anyway, I really do try and get these posted as often as possible. But with school, editing my other lovely stories and editing works from other people, finding time to sit down and rewrite something is a bit of a task, Whew. Oh goodness, don't tell anyone about your excitement though! Shh! I don't think anyone else has realized that!  
**Angel2005 – **Well… you tell me if the battle was hard for the Tenken. Hee hee, I hope it was.  
**Babygirl – **I shall help the baby .  
**Long In War – **Heeyaaaaah…. I sorta mulled over that statement while I was writing, debating whether I should put it in or not. Don't get mad at me, I did realize part of it was erroneous… can't figure out why I didn't change it. BUT! I do believe that fighting Shishio would have been useless for him. Didn't Shishio teach him? Shishio was able to defend himself against Saito easy easy because he'd already seen the attack before. So with Sojiro around him all the time and seeing his attack, I really do believe that Sojiro, though perhaps more skilled than Shishio, would not have been able to defeat Shishio only because Shishio knew how to defend himself against the Tenken. That's my opinion. Though I do agree, had Sojiro been serious with Kenshin, the rurouni would have been killed in the first attack.  
**Another Baka – **YOSHI! I loved him too, nod nod. But his death is important for later on.  
**Hopeless lady – **So epic… so epic, yes yes.  
**Philia-chan – **Cruel… yes I am. Bwahahahaa.  
**Streetwise Girl – **I killed Yoshi. I KILLED YOSHI! Oh woe! Yeah… I did kinda give it away with the chapter title now didn't I? But I did it on purpose  
**Pansted – **Whoosh! Stay a fan my lovely, it only gets better!  
**Noname –** Did… did I just get slapped? Who would have thought killing a secondary character would have such dire consequences…?

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**Author's Note : **I really want to thank everyone who is commenting on this story. It really motivates me to get the next chapter up for you people's. Thanks a lot for taking that time! ALSO! For all those who seemed to have a little problem with me saying Sojiro was weaker than the Battousai, my apologies. At some point I will go back and edit that out. Goodness, I really did realize it. BUT! The part about him being weaker than Shishio stays, because that's how I feel. Shishio couldn't be killed with an attack if he'd already seen it, so really... Sojiro's attacks, no matter how swift they might have been and no matter how big a prodigy with his sword he might have been, in my opinion, defeating Shishio just wasn't a possibility. That's me defending myself right there.

Hope you enjoy this chapter! I'd be glad to explain myself on any points people might find to be a little... off.

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**Chapter Fourteen – The Promised Opponents **

Sojiro sprinted towards Yasue's house as fast as his empty stomach would allow him, puffs of white fog billowing from his mouth in a steady stream, hair and clothes catching on the branches and bushes that reached out to him. He could feel the frigid hands of winter sneaking to his body through his clothes and freezing his joints. He would kill them if they hurt Yasue. He would kill them all.

Yasue grunted in pain as the rope was tightened around her stomach, arms pinned so tightly against the wooden pillar behind her that her skin was being pinched in the grooves in the ropes. She felt so exhausted that she could barely keep her eyes open, but she had to stay awake for Sojiro. Only Kami knows what he would do if he thought she was dead.

Before the drowsy girl there were Mikazu and Taki, bickering back and fourth between each other as though she weren't there. "You have absolutely no faith in me, absolutely no confidence! Too _skilled_? Don't be daft, Mikazu. Give me my kunais back," Taki yelled, jumping up Mikazu's tall form and reaching for her knives which Mikazu held suspended in his large extended fist. He laughed at her.

"I know you just want to get back at him for hurting me. You're really too cute," he smiled, swinging his large arm around Taki's narrow back and grinning in her face. "But I will be the one who fights him. My arm feels so much better thanks to your professional care. Don't worry, Taki. He just caught me off guard."

"And he'll do it again, but this time you won't be able to laugh about it," Taki snarled, frowning. Mikazu chuckled passively, acting as though the very idea of being hurt again were ludicrous. "It's not funny Mikazu! If you die there won't be anyone to lead the Gundashi!"

"What about you?" He smirked down at her in merriment, stretching his arm up again as he squeezed the small ninja into his chest. She frowned, but her cheeks flared red. "They would follow you as faithfully as they have followed me. You're clever, skilled, beautiful-"

"Female," Taki hissed, trying to push away from him and reaching for her kunais. Mikazu leaned down and handed her the kunais, expression void of juvenile mischief. "You know they won't take me seriously if I don't have the right parts. Besides, I have no idea how to lead them," she whispered, taking her kunai's and squeezing them to her chest. "The Gundashi need you a lot more than they need me and our skills are pretty much equally matched so I should fight."

"Taki, it doesn't matter who the Gundashi needs. You know that when any man loves a woman he would do anything to protect her. You, my dear, are subject to the same fate." He leaned down and kissed her cold forehead, walking away from her with a quick stride full of arrogant pride. "Niro, how is Yasue faring? Is she comfortable?"

"If by comfortable you mean secure, then yes. She is quite comfortable," the boy said, nodding. He looked to be about Sojiro's age. In fact, he held a strong resemblance to him except he was taller and seemed more solild. "When will the drug wear off? Sojiro will be here soon," he said, turning back to Yasue. As soon as he felt Mikazu's attention had strayed from him, he devilishly as Yasue, eyes flickering. "I want to make sure you see Sojiro suffer and he _will_ suffer," Niro jeered, returning once again to tighten the already bone cracking ropes "And then afterwards, it's my job to get the map from you. I will shave off every piece of skin little by little until you talk. Every piece of skin from your boyfriend that is." The young boy laughed and sat next to her, watching the trail with eager eyes.

"Niro, what have you become?" Yasue sighed, struggling against her bonds for the first time, but the boy didn't answer. He merely sat there watching the snow fall, his eyes flickering again.

"Mikazu!" Taki gasped, pointing to the trail. Four heads looked up to see a staggering Sojiro slowly make his way up the dark trail. He stopped once he had made his way to the top and straightened himself, eyes scanning the yard.

"I finally made it," he laughed, smiling. Mikazu frowned. "Where's Miss Yasue?" Sojiro moved closer, approaching Taki and Mikazu. They stared at him in a puzzled manner and glanced at the strung up Yasue. Sojiro's calm demeanor broke when he found her and his eyes darkened to the color of coals. "Yasue?" he whispered, running over to her.

Niro jumped up and shoved his sword in Sojiro's face, grinning. "Nuh-uh, Seta. Turn back around and draw your sword. You've got to fight for your whore this time," the boy laughed. Yasue's tired eyes gazed up at him and blinked a few times, trying to clear the fog from her vision. Sojiro frowned and spun around. If he had to tear them all apart then so be it. He would kill them.

Sojiro drew his sword and pointed it at Mikazu who pushed Taki gently behind him. Sojiro eyed her angrily, rage bubbling in his stomach. If he hadn't been so distracted by her before, then Yoshi would still be alive and Mikazu would be dead. He would kill her too, slash her to pieces, just for what she did to Yasue. "Come on Mikazu. This is what you want, right?" Sojiro growled. He felt so strange inside. He'd never done anything like this before. He'd never been the one to initiate a battle on his own. Shishio usually assigned them to him.

The snow was sliding down his clothes and nestling in his hair. He tried focusing on Mikazu, but his attention was behind him on Yasue. That grubby boy better not touch her or he'd shove his sword through his throat. Mikazu smiled. With the boy so torn, this fight would be easy for him.

"If you had never interfered with us you never would have been involved," Mikazu told him. The fact was, when he had seen Sojiro, he had been reminded of his younger brother Niro. That's why he failed to see his sword, because he refused to. Niro was never meant to pick up a sword. He was never meant to see blood. If Mikazu had been there to help him, he would still be a normal kid. If he had killed them first, if he had done away with his parents like he wanted, then Niro wouldn't have been the one who was scarred by the sight of their blood and haunted by the sounds of their screams.

Their mother had been selling themselves for pennies and dying of disease and their father took those pennies for drinks. Often he would come home and beat the weathered mother with his fists, blaming her for their poverty. Mikazu would always fall asleep to the sounds of war between husband and wife with the soft undertow of quieted sobs from Niro's side of the room. Why didn't she stand up for herself? It was a question Mikazu constantly dodged from his younger brother, unable to come up with a good answer or even one that would help Niro in the slightest. Eventually, without an answer, his pity turned to hate and whenever his mother was beaten and whenever his father would yell, he would stare at the wall with a blank expression on his face, mouth slowly twitching, eyes darting back and fourth in his sockets.

It had occurred while Mikazu was at his sword lessons. He had stayed later to ask his sensei if it was possible to stay until they could find a more suitable place to stay and ran home eager to tell Niro the good news. But when he arrived, bad news greeted him at the door.

The house was silent, the kind of silence that weighs upon the ears and shoulders, the kind that instills doubt and fear in the chest of the one put under it's pressure. Niro wasn't in his room hiding under the covers like he normally was. His mother wasn't sitting in the front room sitting somberly next to her husband. Mikazu opened the last door to the last room, eyes widening at the view before him.

Niro was sitting in the middle of his parents bedroom, centered between both slain parents with his small shuddering back facing Mikazu. His father's sword was behind him, the blade red and sticky with blood. The floor around him was covered in crimson, a wide radius of death surrounding Niro. His arms and hands, his small little fingers, they were stained. Then Niro turned his head, eyes wide with some kind of demonic satisfaction as he started to giggle.

"They did it again. I hate them." He brought his drenched fingers to his face and dragged the tips down, long thin streaks of red like war paint being left on his insane expression. Then he laughed again, a hysterical laughter and yet it was sane. Mikazu had blamed himself for the boys disturbance.

Mikazu shoved the dreaded memory back into it's box and convinced himself that Sojiro was not Niro. The savage animal fury that raged from Sojiro was intimidating, but only deadly to himself. Mikazu had confidence in this fight. This was his victory.

He sprang foreword, smiling when his attack was weakly blocked. With a hard kick, Sojiro was sent flying to the side, rolling through the new snow and holding his side for only a minute. Mikazu advanced upon the struggling boy again and Sojiro was buffeted in another direction.

After a few more repetitive blows, it became quite the effort for Sojiro to find his feet again. Mikazu stopped short when the boy looked up at him. There was a desperation, a need to win, and Mikazu suddenly felt his guilt overpowering him. He was tempted to call him Niro.

"You can leave now. I give you this chance to put away your sword and walk back down that path and away from here," Mikazu whispered. Taki and Niro glanced at each other, fidgeting nervously. Sojiro sighed and took a deep breath, shaking his head. Mikazu, swallowing his feelings of sympathy, darted foreword and knocked him down, sword pointed at the small face below him. "Why won't you give up?"

"Because there is no reason to."

"You are too weak and unskilled to win."

Sojiro merely smiled and closed his eyes.

"Kill him Mikazu! This whore's got our treasure!" Niro yelled, half-smiling while his eyes glared hard at the red clothed back of his brother. Mikazu frowned, but refused to look at him and Niro's enthusiasm died quickly. The boy looked at Yasue who watched the fight with tear filled eyes, still unable to speak. "If he dies it won't take long for you to see him again," he laughed. He took his sword from his hakama strap and leaned it against the wooden pillar by Yasue, using it as intimidation in hopes he would be able to see her fear.

Mikazu glared at Sojiro, waiting for him to move from his spot on the ground. "I take no pity on the weak. They only prove my strength so don't think I'll ask you again."

"You're wrong Shishio," Sojiro mumbled, eyes closed and small smile playing with his lips. "The weak are strong. You lied to me. All those years of following… I was wrong," Sojiro said, standing up. "No, I wasn't wrong. You were wrong. Tell me again what you preached to me for all that time."

_The strong live and the weak die._

"That's wrong!" Sojiro yelled, dropping his sword and gripping his head with his hands.

_I'll kill you!_

"No! Someone help me! Someone please. Not again," Sojiro twirled on his foot before he fell to his knees and screamed into the snow. Mikazu watched the spectacle, not sure what to do. "Kenshin! Help me! Someone, AH!" Sojiro yelled, sobbing painfully as his hands left his head to hold his stomach.

_I don't think a kid being killed around here would look too suspicious._

Sojiro screamed again, squirming against the snow as his stomach cramped painfully. Why wasn't anyone helping him? Why didn't anyone come? Why won't anyone at least try? Yasue…

_Maybe a part of you does not want to live at the expense of others._

Sojiro's body relaxed and he laid in the snow motionless. Yasue squirmed in the ropes and whimpered, making the only noise she knew the drugs and ropes would permit. "That's weird. The kid took himself out. Oh well. You won't be so lucky. Mikazu, come on. It's time to get the map," Niro said, looking out eagerly, hands fisted in anticipation. Mikazu stared at Sojiro, brow furrowed.

Slowly, he pushed himself off of the ground, keeping his head down at he did so. He retrieved his sword and sheathed it, flipping his face up and shaking the hair away from him eyes. When he opened his eyes they seemed empty, completely devoid of emotion and they seemed more frightening than they were when they were blind with rage. "Mikazu," Sojiro said with a smile. "I don't believe I'm going to leave. I've never run from a fight and I most certainly won't do it now, but I'll give you the chance. I'll show you… mercy. Ha! It's feels so strange to say that," Sojiro laughed, placing his hand on his sword.

"You bastard! You show _him_ mercy? How dare you say that after such a humiliating fight!" Taki screamed, reaching for her kunai, but Mikazu turned and shook his head. "Mikazu!"

"I have no distractions now, but I'll be happy to fight you if that's what you want. I haven't been able to fight in a while," Sojiro said. Mikazu lifted his sword and pointed it back in Sojiro's face with a scowl.

"I'm not leaving this fight." Sojiro smiled apathetically. "But if you have no distractions, what of Yasue?" Sojiro peered behind Mikazu to where Yasue was watching him and then back at Mikazu. The Gundashi leader frowned. He didn't know what had just happened, whatever screaming and calling for help had done to him, but it caused him to forget the one he was trying to save.

Yasue struggled harder against the rope, sobbing. Niro looked up at her with a smirk. "Ouch," he said airily, looking like he might, for a change, be sincere, before falling backwards and laughing. "He completely ignored you." Niro sat up and peered at her face. "You're just a distraction to him, you whore. At least he got something from you, huh?" The younger swordsman turned and punched her hard through the wall of ropes, sending the air right from her lungs and out into the cold night. Then he turned away from her and smiled as he watched the fight. Sojiro never flinched.

"I'm not going easy on you Sojiro," Mikazu growled. For some reason, the fact his enemy didn't even care about Yasue's welfare frustrated him. That was the reason he had been fighting in the first place. Yasue was the reason he had showed up. Mikazu raced foreword, glaring at Sojiro, but then the boy disappeared from sight, vanished. Mikazu stopped and watched as the snow around him was flung up into the air. He was too stunned to do anything else but raise his sword in a feeble defense against Sojiro whose sword dropped him down to his knees.

Taki screamed. What was happening? Had Mikazu not just kicked this kid around like a sack of flour? She moved to grab her kunai's, but stopped when Mikazu stood back up, still struggling to maintain his block. They pushed against each other's sword for a minute more and then Sojiro jumped back, smiling. His stomach was gone. That familiar void was back in place. He would celebrate it with Mikazu's blood and perhaps Taki's too.

"Mikazu. I wanted to show you something not even the Battousai could exceed. It's called the Shukuchi. Try and block it if you can, otherwise you'll die," Sojiro laughed, tapping his foot on the ground. He would be fast. Faster than even the Battousai. It was exhilarating to once again have this control and he couldn't help, but thank Shishio for it. Sojiro opened his eyes and focused on Mikazu, his smile growing even more emotionless than it had been before. He smiled and it didn't touch his eyes. He smiled and there was no warmth, only coldness. "Are you ready Mikazu? I wouldn't want to catch you off guard. This is three steps away from Shukuchi. I'll show you all four if you make it that far." Sojiro's voice was so passive, the normally sarcastic words came across as perfectly friendly. Sojiro waited for Mikazu to slip into his stance and then switched feet, shooting foreword so fast he disappeared and his ki became blurred, undetectable.

Mikazu only had a second to react. He couldn't tell where the attack would come from and the only thing he could manage to do was to guess which side it would come from. Mikazu raised his sword above his head, surprised when he felt himself being pushed down by Sojiro's blade. Sojiro jumped back away from Mikazu and laughed quietly. Once again the small chuckle that escaped his lips was ominously void of any merriment whatsoever. "Good job Mikazu. Two steps away from Shukuchi. Are you ready?" Sojiro began tapping his foot lightly on the powdery snow again, face placid. Mikazu hesitated. Did this mean the movement would be faster? Mikazu steadied himself as the boy jumped lightly to his other foot.

It was faster, but this time the attack was directed to his sides. How he knew, he wasn't sure. Call it fighter's intuition, but he just knew. Mikazu flipped his sword to his right and grimaced when he felt the dull blade bite into his side. Sojiro swung off to the side and shook his right wrist, his sword suddenly in his sheathe.

"I think I hurt my wrist on that attack," he chuckled, sighing and drawing his sword again. "Okay, one step from Shukuchi. Ready?" Sojiro asked, his foot hitting the ground lightly. Mikazu turned to him and readied himself. He wouldn't win this fight if Sojiro stayed in this mindset. Perhaps he could make that thing happen… make him scream and roll around in the snow again. He had to manipulate his weakness somehow. Yasue couldn't be completely from his mind.

Sojiro switched feet and dashed foreword. Mikazu jumped back, deflecting Sojiro's sword into the ground. "Why are you playing with me?" he shouted. Sojiro jumped away from Mikazu's attack and stared at him with that same grin he had the first time they'd met. The one that made him look like a normal child, the one that hid the deadly monster underneath. "Sojiro, you came here to save Yasue! Why are you fooling around? Doesn't she matter to you?"

"Certainly, but you were playing with me before when Taki was right there. Did you really think she was completely safe? She's a weak fighter, conceited just like you, but I've seen plenty like you who were, in a sense, skilled." Sojiro began tapping his foot again. How could he say such insulting words and make it sound like he was complimenting? "This is Shukuchi in it's true form. I'll be serious if that's trully what you want." Sojiro's smile never faltered in the slightest and now Mikazu could feel it's weight resting on his chest, feel it's meaning, his inevitable conclusion.

This must be Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana. He's no longer just a survivor of the Battousai's rage. This must be the reason why the Battousai never won, Mikazu thought. If he was a stronger when he was smiling, this attack would kill him and the Gundashi would disperse. They would never be recognized as the strongest group in Kyoto. Mikazu readied himself, giving a quick glance towards the snow covered Taki who stood motionless off to the side with eyes that soaked up everything that went on in front of her.

"Was it fun to kill Yoshi?" Sojiro asked. Mikazu had expected some change in face. They had been friends hadn't they? But there wasn't, not even a twitch. Mikazu frowned. "Yoshi was weak though. A child with a sword. I've never killed someone who didn't deserve to die," Sojiro chuckled and switched feet, springing foreword. Mikazu had no time to analyze. He had to move quickly if he was to survive. He thrust his sword outward, hoping to strike something and for a moment he thought he had, but as a blade bit into his side, he knew the chances of his fatally wounding Sojiro had been missed.

Mikazu fell to the side, grabbing his wounded side. When Sojiro stopped a few feet next to Mikazu, his sleeve was ripped and his arm was bleeding. He rubbed it a little and tore off his severed sleeve. Mikazu stood up slowly, grunting as his side began to drip more blood. Taki ran to his, covering his bloody hands with her own.

"No more Mikazu! Money isn't worth your death," she cried, lowering herself down to her knees and crying. He paid her request no mind and staggered out towards Sojiro. Taki watched him go, tears dripping down her frozen cheeks.

"One more time, Seta. Finish me off this time." Mikazu turned and spit out a bit of blood and prepared himself for the final attack. Sojiro touched his arm again and shrugged.

"That hurt a little, plus my gi is completely ruined, but I'll give you what you want." Sojiro sighed and held his sword steady out in front of him. The snow fell on his exposed arm and melted in his heat, forming small streams of water that slipped to his hands. Mikazu turned and smiled at Taki.

"I'll be waiting in hell for you, my dear," Mikazu whispered, turning back with a glare and charging towards Sojiro. The young boy smiled coldly, sprinting foreword as well and as he did so, the young girl behind the flash of red Gundashi gi, dressed in her pale purple kimono, caught his eye and his focus was lost for a second.

Mikazu screamed, bringing his sword down and Sojiro silently did the same, ignoring the pain he felt thread into his body. Mikazu rushed past him, standing for a moment before dropping the heavy sword in his hand and grabbing his shoulder with a loud groan.

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**End note:** Okay! GUESS WHAT! We just finished the first of two notebooks! Let's have a little party. Dances. So, that's the halfway mark for this lovely. YAY! Maybe perhaps I'll get some fanart to accompany this lovely little story of mine? Bwahahahah... yeah right.


	15. Brotherly Love

**F's Fan – **No no, the second notebook is only about half filled with the story so the story won't be that much longer. No worries!  
**Mischievous Lass – **Ah! Yes, I just remembered, my apologies for this taking so long.  
**Seta Misao- **Right, the battle will keep going even after this chapter. I hope I did a good job, I was running out of synonyms really fast!  
**Noname – **Aye, yeah, revenge for Yoshi O.o As for your other review Thanks a bunch! I'll try.  
**Sucker – **Eesh, aye aye captain… goodness. And cliffhangers are the best parts of stories! What are you talking about  
**Some Slut – **Hello again. Well, uh, I'm not sure how many more 'hot' chapters there are in here. I'm not sure if there's even one…  
**Charming Woman – **OYE! Thank you so much for that! I've been waiting for some constructive criticism. I know Yasue is foreword, and believe me, even if I didn't think so, everyone else did and they most certainly voiced their opinions in the reviews, but I also didn't want her to be some submissive quiet girl like Tsubame. I was going for more of a toned down mix of Megumei and Karou… very toned down in my opinion. And well, obviously in this chapter you find the answer to your question. As for your second review, Mikazu is a good warrior, and Niro well, is not. But I also wanted another twisted character in the story like might mirror Sojiro's more insane side, the one that's confused and angry. And all that stuff about the shukuchi… didn't even come to mind so thanks a lot for pointing that out (though I doubt I'll go back and change anything .; AND AS FOR YOUR THIRD REVIEW! Well, if you remember, Sojiro was… Sojiro, the Tenken. In this story, Sojiro is lost and confused and adjusting. So I found it reasonable that Sojiro wouldn't be in complete control and would get injured just a little.  
**EK – **thanks for still reviewing my story. I'm so slow at updating I'm surprised I've got a following at all! And yeah, I read a couple before hand where I thought they were really good but the people just… stopped and it pissed me off a great amount (plus I don't like to pay attention in school and it gave me something to do ;D)  
**Kari Ishikawa – **THANKS! Haha, I had a lot of people congratulate me on successfully creating a character un Mary-Sue, but then they yelled at me for having her be too straight and foreword. Oh well, it's nice that you like them since I liked them a lot too. And I'm not a huge fan of them either (weird huh, since this whole fiction is OC) but I wanted to do something on Sojiro after he left the fight, his life after the Gundashi.  
**Another Baka – **HAHAHA! Of course I didn't finish it! Where's the fun in that? Where's the fun in writing a story if you can't torture your readers a little bit once and a while?  
**Wood Worm – **Well, I can't just tell you if he really cares for her or not, that would be giving it away! And yes, the Gundashi has many members in it, but it would be pointless. I mean, the original mission was to retrieve the map to the wealth, not to kill a skilled swordsmen, and Mikazu is the leader of the Gundashi after all so his ego would naturally prevent him from inviting the whole number of the Gundashi down to take out one kid half his age. But you will encounter them later.  
**Streetwise Girl – **Hahaha, thanks for enjoying it. And Niro is important now. He's kinda the portrayal of Sojiro's inner turmoil. Heh heh? wink wink  
**DemonSlayer205 – **Yes, I didn't finish the fight. Yes I forgot about Sojiro's ultimate technique. No, it won't be used in this story. I don't think it's necessary. I mean, the Gundashi are good to some extent, but to use a technique that was equitable to the Battousai's ultimate technique would just be overkill.

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**Author's Note: **Sorry this took so freakin' long. I seriously had a bunch of homework for my AP courses all at once that I procrastinated on anyway. Plus I got DDR... well I didn't, one of my sisters did, and I think anyone that has it can attest to it's addictiveness. And I am seriously addicted. It's like... five hours each night... yeah, just a little obsessed, but at least it's not completely unhealthy, eh? Ahh, well, hopefully it's just a phase or something (shakes head). I'm done rambling for a while. ONTO THE STORY!

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**Chapter Fifteen – Brotherly Love**

_You're dead…_

Sojiro stood silently and watched as Taki held the dying Mikazu, his back turned to Yasue so she couldn't see the waterfall of crimson his careless mistake had caused him. Still, being in this kind of control, why was he still so scattered? Mikazu should never have touched him at all. If he had fought him before he had fought Kenshin, Mikazu would not have taken more than one attack.

He listened to what she said, observed as Taki desperately piled snow on Mikazu's wound and told him not to close his eyes. Niro watched them in angry confusion. "Well, that's not right. My older brother should have at least scratched that boy. What a pitiful fight that was. I suppose my pride for him was misdirected if this is the way he will fall: wrapped in a woman's tender arms comfortably after such a disgraceful duel with such a young opponent," Niro whispered to himself. Yasue struggled against her binds and Niro cut her loose, pointing his sword directly at her throat with an apathetic scowl. "If you leave this spot, your throat is mine. I do not care about the map." Niro narrowed his eyes and walked away, leaving her clutching the very beam she had been attached to for the duration of the fight.

"Niro! What are-" Taki yelled.

"Shut up, Taki. Just hold your precious Mikazu and forget about me. I'm a lost cause, just like everyone always said I was." At the last bit a small grin spread across his pale face, but it was soon smothered and replaced by his characteristic grimace. Niro held his sword lightly by his side, twirling it in his hand before smirking. "Now young boy, you will fight me. If you have killed my brother than I must test my skills as well. Maybe, finally I'll be able to _do _something."

Sojiro peeled his eyes away from the small broken couple and looked at Niro, realizing suddenly how much the boy looked like him. "Are you here to get revenge for your brother?" Sojiro asked, a small smile playing against his delicate face. Niro turned his head to the side, glancing at Mikazu.

"Feh, unlikely. If he lost to you that's his fault. I'm not going to try and make up for it. Besides, I want to prove myself better. Mikazu never let me. My last family member… I was counting on you to believe in me," Niro laughed, smiling, but his smile faded slowly and his eyes softened for a moment as he watched Mikazu fade before turning back to Sojiro with a renewed flame burning brightly in his eyes. "And if no one will believe me, then I'll just do things the way I want without them." Niro sprinted foreword, his sword darting quickly in all directions, or maybe that was just Sojiro's vision swimming from the weight of all the confusion he felt.

In the last moment, Sojiro lifted his sword and feebly blocked the attack, his hands slipping on the hilt of his sword. This has never happened before. In all of his fights he'd never felt his sword slip. Was his grip not strong enough? Why was Taki crying over Mikazu? Where was Yasue? Stop! Stop thinking about those things. It's not important right now, not when you're face to face with an opponent.

But he's just like me, Sojiro thought.

"Are you stronger than you're brother because you aren't burdened by the emotions he feels?" Sojiro whispered, more to himself than anyone else, a rhetorical question. The small dark eyes slipped to the teary eyed Taki and then to the bleeding Mikazu, then back to the stone eyes of Niro, finally pushing back on the sword that endeavored to cut through his body. "You're brother was weaker than me, that's the reason I came out of that fight with a victory. Isn't that right?"

"Well if that's your train of thought, then Yasue should die too since I stronger than her," Niro said, his voice wavering in perplexity as he spoke. Why did the boy suddenly look lost and confused? Where was the fighter that had killed Mikazu so easily? It wasn't fair that his brother got to be defeated by a strong and stoic opponent while he faced the seemingly juvenile swordsman that he suddenly had been reduced to.

These feelings that Sojiro felt deep in his stomach, the clenching knot as he desperately tried to keep the sword's blade away from his skin, the emptiness he felt when he hoped Yasue was okay wherever she had gotten to, the blackness that swallowed him up when he saw Taki cry over the man he had skewered, should he accept them and all the confusion they inflicted him with or would he take the easy way out and stay in the simple impenetrable shield of apathy? There was so much about this world he had no clue about.

With a sharp push, Niro had jumped back and thrown his chin over his shoulder to glare once more at Taki and Mikazu who still stared on. Mikazu was growing paler by the second, turning into the snow around him.

"My brother deserves to die, but not because he's weak. You thought you could escape it all didn't you? You thought by going to your silly sword lessons and living with your sensei that we could just escape the life we'd been cursed to live? Did you think I would be safe with them alone while you practiced? They came home that night and bickered like they always did and eventually momma agreed with dad when he said it was her fault we were so poor. For once I tried to defend her, for once I yelled that it wasn't her fault, that it was his for spending it on stupid things. I asked her why it was always her that had to be blamed. Then do you know what she said to me? Do you know? 'Because it wouldn't be right to blame you.'" Niro's voice was raised as he uttered his mother's words, the anger he felt, the indignation and resentment he had bottled up inside his body for so long came out with those words loud and clear. Even Sojiro could feel it.

"Why would I be blamed, Mikazu? What did I do? I only loved her. I never did anything to hurt her and yet she said it wasn't right to blame me for poverty. Doesn't that means he wanted to? And you, always at those practices, hiding away from your problems. I was just a little boy. I didn't even know how to hold a sword much less how to kill someone with it. I didn't know how to protect myself when father stormed after me and called me names for accusing him." Niro fisted away a tear angrily and glared at Sojiro as though it were his fault. "But I don't care about that anymore." Then with a loud shout, Niro's sword was raised above his head and he was sprinting towards Sojiro once again. Sojiro stopped the attack, but felt himself being pushed into the soft snow under the pressure. Those feelings Niro had were adding to his power, but his only took away from it.

"Why are you fighting me?" Sojiro questioned, but his answer was a hard kick in the stomach that sent him onto the ground. He managed to roll out from under Niro before his sword could pierce him, but he felt so slow, so phlegmatic. Niro stood a short distance away, breathing heavily with his piercing gaze covered by his sandy hair. A silence settled over the group, slowly disrupted by a quiet whisper that quickly escalated to a high pitched and hysterical laughter.

"What am I doing! What do I hope to accomplish by fighting the young prodigy from the Juppongatana, Sojiro Seta? I want to prove I'm better than Mikazu! I never left! I put up and listened to every argument, heard every slap, every broken bottle, every scream of terror, I heard them all! But he didn't. He didn't hear all of them. I never left, but he did. I never left," Niro attacked Sojiro again, clashing swords so close to his face that a few strands of hair fell down the quivering blades as they both struggled to push the other back.

Mikazu watched from Taki's arms, using as much strength as he could to stay alive and watch. Why… had Niro said nothing about this before? All the while he had been protecting his brother while Niro fought to get away from him.

Sojiro pushed hard against Niro's blade, easing him back and ducking away. Niro stumbled foreword, but flipped around in time to catch Sojiro's descending blade. "You're stuck in the past," Sojiro pointed out, looking as confused as ever. Niro gritted his teeth and slipped to the side, letting his blade fall to the ground and freeing one of his hands to swing at Sojiro. The impact sent him tripping over his feet, falling on his sword's hilt with his back to Niro. He heard Yasue call his name and looked to see her fearfully clinging to a wooden pillar, covering her mouth with her hands as those tears streamed down her face.

"I will stay where I want and I will do what I want. Don't tell me what to do," Niro sneered, walking to Sojiro. He tasted the blood in his mouth, so different, so alien. Had he ever tasted it before? Back when he lived with his mother's family he had tasted it almost everyday, but it had been so long. He felt so weak, so tired, but he couldn't die or Miss Yasue would too.

"Yasue…" Sojiro whispered, standing and gripping his sword. That's right, he wasn't fighting for himself anymore. He was fighting for others just like Kenshin did. His sword slipped back into it's sheathe and he faced Niro for the last time.

He would win this for Yasue… so he could say goodbye.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Oh goodness, is that foreshadowing? I think it is. Anyway, thanks for all the reviews my faithful readers! Just a little warning, the next chapter... is short. And completely unrelated to the fight. That's right, it's a flashback! There's going to be a couple later on too, but not ones that take up a whole chapter, just warning you. Anyway, I hope that means that the next chapter will be up quicker than this ones. A million apologies. 


	16. Child's Memories

**Genki Ninjagirl – **Ooie! It's not as bad as it sounds ya know. If you break my fingers I can't finish the story! And I am a most delicate person, ya know!  
**EK – **Heh, yeah I did get OC crazy in the last few chapters eh? Oye. Well, I don't think there are any more if that's any consolation.  
**Mysterious Samurai – **Well, yeh, but all good things must come to a close, huh? But, if you're interested, I do have an account of and I am starting a series for that, but unfortunately that means a rather dormant account for a while. If you're interested, I can give you the link to go to once I get it up. It'd make me mighty happpppy :D  
**Seta Misao – **EEE! I was hoping SOMEONE would catch up on that. In my notebook it does say 'miss yasue' but I figured I would change it because it seemed fitting.  
**Demon Slayer – **I know this chapter is short short short short short, but rest assured, the next chapter is of comfortable length.

**Chapter Sixteen – Child's Memories**

_Kenshin Himura… the Battousai._

Sojiro shifted the weight of the rice barrel on his slender shoulders, grunting as it slipped off. It never got any easier. The rice barrels always seemed to heavy to him that even carrying a hundred back and fourth each day had no noticeable effect. He wiped his forehead free of the sweat that had accumulated and smiled. Only ninety-nine more to go, he thought optimistically.

"Sojiro! You little brat, come out here and eat your damn food." Sojiro ran from the shed, a small, excited 'yes' escaping his mouth as he bounded across the cool grass to the house. When he reached the house and the scowling woman in front of it, Sojiro paused and bowed.

"Thank you. Your cooking is always so delicious," Sojiro said, his mouth salivating and his eyes pinned on the rice she held protectively in her hand. Sojiro looked at her and smiled graciously, the woman's deepening frown having no effect on his bright face at all.

"I hate you Sojiro, we all do," she said bluntly, dropping his food on the ground in front of him before walking back inside. Sojiro clumsily caught the bowl in his hands, only a few clumps of rice falling to the ground, but still, he smiled hungrily at his lunch. It smelled good like it always did, but with his empty stomach, just about anything could smell delicious. He scooped his dirty fingers into the rice slowly, procrastinating from his chores to savor the moist, albeit cold, rice.

He was happy… right? Why wouldn't he be? Food, shelter, family… what more could he want?

"I can't believe we have to take care of that filthy, stupid little runt. If she wants to run off and have sex with everyone, fine, but she should deal with the consequences and not dump them on our doorstep."

"She's dying. Even if she did have the kid with her, it wouldn't teach her much. She's so thickskulled."

"I hate whores."

"I know dear, we all do. Is he done eating yet? I don't want his dirty fingers messing my china."

"I'll go check, ma."

The slender woman approached Sojiro who held out the plate to her with a pleasant, satiated smile upon his pale lips. "It was very delicious. Thank yo-" The woman's hand shot from her side to strike at the boys dirty face before he could finish and her thin red lips peeled back to reveal her sparkling teeth as a red rash consumed his cheek.

"I wish I could do that to your stupid hooker mother too," she spat. Sojiro turned away from her, a grin to his lips as always, but behind those lips his teeth were gnashing.


	17. Bleeding Winter

**Charming Woman – **Well, it's not a series of flashbacks, this one was the beginning of the flashbacks.  
**X-Files – **Aye. Bwahahaha.  
**Genki Ninjagirl – **Yay! Thanks!  
**Angel1808 – **Aye, thanks for the understanding.  
**Babygirl – **Whoa, yeah, but I spelled Sou's name wrong too. I have it Sojiro, but it's Soujiro. Heh heh.  
**Some Slut – **There's always romance between them? O.O  
**DemonSlayer205 – **Did I respond to this? But yes you're right, there is a point to the flashbacks.   
**Mischeivous Lass – **It doesn't have anything to do with him and Yasue, more with himself.  
**EK – **Oye, it helps so much!  
**Nicetoknowyou89 – **Aye, I responded to this one I know. Thanks so much for your review!

**Chapter Seventeen – Bleeding Winter**

_When you're trying to repair a brick building that was built the wrong way the first time, you have to tear the whole thing down before you can begin again. It can't be done any other way because brick is just too hard to change. I was wrong all these years. The one that was right was you… Himura._

"Are you positive that this is what you want?" Sojiro asked pensively, strange grin on his face though he seemed troubled. Niro felt a spark as his eyes fell onto the gaze of his enemy. How dare he! This was no game, no smiling matter. It was time the fallen assassin was taught a lesson. It was time to end this battle.

Niro pushed himself foreword, feet pounding against the frozen ground below and powdered snow brushing against his legs as he drew himself closer to the stationary Sojiro. Just as Niro thought there wasn't possibly any time for Sojiro to attack, his sword was unsheathed and cutting him diagonally across his chest. Niro's eyes widened in pain as he finished his cut, desperately reaching out for contact. He passed Sojiro, feet slowly burying themselves in the snow, and collapsed to the ground with a low groan of agony.

"This is how it ends. This is… this is good. This is right," Niro gasped, glancing at Yasue through defeated eyes as he smiled and settled himself into the snow. The only reply she had was a silent gaping mouth and tears of sympathy. The sight of crimson floods devouring the pure ivory sheets he laid upon burned itself into her memory.

Sojiro clenched his teeth together, hands trembling so fiercely his sword shook itself free from his grasp. Yasue peered at him through the darkness, eyes filling with fear as she watched the blood spill from his wound and land in his quaking hand. Just the sight of it, the sight of his own blood on his body instead of that of another, made him stumble back and crash into the body of the girl he'd put so much faith into.

"No, please. Not you as well," she cried, warm drops falling from her eyes and landing in the frost coated hair of Sojiro as he blinked slowly and tried to concentrate on that pain that he hadn't felt in years. With a small grunt, he lifted one of his hands and gripped her pastel purple kimono. "Sojiro…"

"It was a lie… when he asked me if I was… I said no." Sojiro's body lifted off the ground as he groaned, eyes shut tight as his mouth uttered a sharp cry of pain. Yasue held him tighter. "Yasue, I-" Sojiro sucked in air as another wave of nostalgic suffering consumed his body. "I will not die today. There is no need for you to worry." Sojiro opened his eyes and smiled as best he could, grimacing whenever his wounds made themselves known.

"Sojiro… I love you. I don't want you to ever leave me. Why did I let you get hurt?" she whispered, lowering her head down to his and kissing his shoulder. His sticky fingers wove into her hair and she was grateful for the sign of life.

"If my wounds… and all the blood I shed… means you remain perfect and untainted by swords and hate, I'd gladly fight a thousand battles." Sojiro's voice tightened at every peak of agony, but they were becoming less and less acute. He could feel Yasue's hands, her pure white hands, sliding over his wounds and wiping away the blood with her kimono. He wanted her to stop, the keep a safe distance from the red floor that poured from the three bodies. She must never experience the pain of swords or the agony of being struck down by one. She should be protected from witnessing such deaths.

They sat in the snow in silence, soft white flakes melting into their clothes and hair. Taki sat cradling the body of Mikazu gingerly, staring at Niro with a solemn face.

_Shut up Taki!_

Niro… she had cared for him deeply, like a younger brother. She had protected him, but always had tried her best not to smother him. She knew what it felt like to be condemned inferior by a loved one, albeit ingenuously. She had laughed with that child but an hour ago, joked and teased him and laughed as his soft sarcastic remarks. An hour ago she had held him while he thought. She had tried to be nothing more than a mother, but turned herself into his enemy.

_Just hold your precious Mikazu and forget all about me. I'm a lost cause…_

Mikazu… she gripped him tighter, her stare loosing focus as tears blurred her vision. Niro had thought that? She admitted now that if Mikazu called, she was by his side no matter what. Had Niro thought she didn't care? She stood up, swinging Mikazu over her shoulder and walking to Niro to do the same. Two dead brothers…

Sojiro and Yasue sat in the snow a little ways away from Niro and Taki made her way to them. She could feel her kunai attached to her back. It would be so easy to just slit both their throats right now, but she left with the virulent thought unperformed.

Yasue watched her go. The pain she was feeling was heavier than anything Yasue would have to feel. To watch both a lover and good friend die and then have to carry their heavy shells on your own shoulders… Yasue moved to brush Sojiro's hair free of the winter crystals. At least he hadn't died. Sojiro's eyes were closed and the smile that had once played his lips was gone.

Sojiro was exhausted. After three months of nothing, no activity or serious battles, suddenly executing the Shukuchi had drained him. When he had done it with the Battousai, he hadn't felt the least bit fatigued. He felt disappointed in himself. Why did he let himself slip?

Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana… that was no longer him. He would tell Yoshi's captain he no longer wished to be affiliated with him and he would try his best to live a peaceful life. Even if Yasue was weak in body, she was strong in spirit. He would learn to be more like her in that respect and perhaps that would help him become less of a stranger in the world he had been pulled from as a child.

Yasue stared at the red snow, half in a daze. Her sleeves, the lilac colored sleeves of her kimono, were weighed in Sojiro's warm blood, but she couldn't care less. It was getting cold, or at least the warmth her adrenaline spike had brought her was dying. That drug she had consumed had left her lethargic and numb while it lasted, but once it had passed through her, she felt alert and awake.

"Sojiro? Are you awake?" she asked timidly, letting her eyes fall from the massacre that fascinated her.

"Mm, yes," Sojiro mumbled.

"Are you cold? We should go and clean your wounds so they don't get infected and trouble you later." The cold had made them appear blue, a rather frightening sight to Yasue. Sojiro moved slightly and sat up, one hand spread flat against his chest as though he thought the skin would fall off if he didn't hold it there. He sat a minute to catch his breath and then stood up with the help of Yasue. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"Not really. Not anymore at least. That's the first time I've been cut with a sword I think." Sojiro leaned most of his weight onto Yasue, contorting his face in pain for a moment before sighing and taking a few stumbling steps towards the melancholy shelter. "It didn't hurt like this when Mikazu struck me," Sojiro laughed, gripping his chest and groaning. Yasue jumped in front of him and kept him standing until the pain subsided.

"Don't talk until your wounds are wrapped. It looks like the bleeding has finally stopped," Yasue instructed, guiding him into her room and helping him to lie down on the soft futon. "I'm going to get some water and bandages. Promise you won't move?" She didn't wait for an answer before getting up and running out in a rush. She collected her supplies and returned to find Sojiro sitting in his bed, staring at him blood hands. "Sojiro! You said you wouldn't move," she exclaimed, stringently ordering him to lie back down though he smiled so congenially at her.

"You asked me to promise, but I never actually said yes." Sojiro chuckled a little and lay back down. "Thank you for helping me, Yasue."

"No need to thank me Sojiro, I am happy to help when I can," she said quickly, placing a wet clothe on his chest and rubbing tenderly at the dried blood. She was so focused on her task that she didn't see his happy smile fade to a frown and when his hand slipped onto hers, she almost jumped in surprise.

"Why do you think you are so useless to me?" Sojiro whispered, looking up at her. She blushed and let go of the darkened clothe to turn her hand to his and hold it firmly. She smiled at him, a sorrowful smile.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that." She squeezed Sojiro's hand and went back to slowly cleaning his weeping chest. Sojiro sighed and closed his eyes, giving Yasue a moment to think. The time in which she had been separated from Sojiro was just a blur, a flash of color. She could remember hearing Yoshi yell, but that was all. "I wonder what happened to Mr. Notaru and Yoshi. I hope they are all right." Sojiro opened his eyes and propped himself up on his elbows, looking into Yasue's innocent, yet extremely puzzled face.

"Yoshi?"

"Yes. Did he and Mr. Notaru go to Shizokuma's for safety? I hope they are okay." Yasue clutched the washrag tightly, looking off in the distance anxiously. Sojiro grunted as he struggled to sit.

"Uh… well, Mr. Notaru is fine," Sojiro said with a smile. Yasue nodded and went back to tending to Sojiro's wounds only to stop a short while afterwards and look at Sojiro in an even more worried manner than before.

"What about Yoshi? Is he hurt?"

Sojiro lifted himself to his elbows and shook his head. "He is in no pain." Sojiro haunting smile made Yasue shiver and she lowered her head and sniffed.

"He is dead? Oh… I hope Shizokuma is all right. She does know, right?" Yasue inquired. Sojiro frowned and shook his head, a shadow settling upon his features. "I should go tell her tomorrow. I feel so horrible… poor Shizokuma."

"No Yasue. I will go tell Shizokuma later, but I think we both deserve a rest for a while." Sojiro laid back down and closed his eyes, but Yasue could see a faint anger in his features. She finished cleaning him without another word.

The blood from his chest turned the cloth a deep maroon, making her hands clammy and cold, but it wasn't that discomfort that dissolved her to quiet tears, it was the sight of the actual wound. The blood had concealed it, but now she could observe it in all it's glory, the jagged and torn skin that peeled away from his body. She helped him to sit up and wrapped his body in tight white bandages, knotting it together and then sitting back on her heels and crying into her hands.

"Yasue, might I ask what is wrong?" Sojiro mumbled, sitting up, but not looking at her. She mumbled something incoherent and then dropped her hands to the floor, her head following them down as she sobbed. Sojiro stared at her in tired confusion.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if something really bad had happened." Yasue began to cry harder and Sojiro fought back the urge to laugh at her.

"You certainly worry too much about me. Why are you so upset over something that didn't happen?" With some difficulty, he moved himself closer to her, blinking in surprise when she glared up at him with death gleaming in her eyes.

"I _have_ to worry for you because _you_ don't worry for yourself at all. And it could have happened and you know it. Stop acting like your invincible," Yasue said with frustration, grabbing his shoulders.

"Ivincible? I never thought I was invincible and even if I did I wouldn't now that I have proof I'm not." Sojiro chuckled and clasped his hands behind her back, laying his head on hers as she rested herself on his shoulder.

"I guess I just don't want to see you end up like Niro or Mikazu." The desire to feel his touch, to know he was alive and well was consuming her, but she knew that he wasn't strong enough. "That would end my life with yours."

"Oh, I just remembered something. Before Yoshi died he apologized to you for his outburst earlier." Sojiro looked at the ceiling and sighed. Yasue didn't stir and for a moment he thought she might have fallen asleep, but he heard her exhale. "Are you tired?"

"To think that Yoshi wasted his last words with an apology to me."

"I don't mean to sound cold, but you did deserve one and it wasn't the only thing he said so his breath wasn't exactly wasted. Anyway, Yoshi might not have been prepared for it, but he knew that by carrying around his sword with him, he was bound tog et involved in situations were his life was at stake." Sojiro followed the lines on the ceiling, falling backward when the lines extended farther than his eyes could see. "Today seemed rather short considering all that happened."

Yasue sat up, careful not to put any weight on his stomach, and looked down at him. "Sojiro… something happened to you when you were fighting Mikazu." Yasue grabbed his hands and held then tightly. "You… acted like you were in so much pain and you called out to someone named… Kenshin. You thought I was a distraction to you." Yasue's squeeze on Sojiro's hands tightened and she lowered her face to his shoulder.

Sojiro pushed his right hand up and gently took his own place above Yasue's body. "I would tell you about everything now, but I am tired. I want to sleep." Sojiro smiled at her and kissed her only long enough to let her know that he was fine. "But before you join me, change your clothes. Blood isn't a flattering decoration on you."


	18. Lover's Insecurities

**Hopeless Lady – **Um… adrenaline/  
**Dreamcatcher – **Ack! A sequel? Oh my. Must think about that one. I'm already so slow on updates as it is!  
**X-files – **I liked that quote too. Felt so proud when I made it. Teehee.  
**Wood Worm – **Of course. I mean, the fight with Kenshin left him pretty much broken. It's like in Samurai X how they used Tomo as a distraction to weaken Kenshin.  
**Sexy Gurl – **Bwahahahaha. Certainly love. He aint mine.  
**Resident Evil – **Eesh. It's the shock of the thing. She'll get back to being forward!  
**Insane – **YES!  
**Kari Ishikawa – **Hee hee. Wonderful.  
**Nicetoknowyou89 – **Thanks!  
**DemonSlayer –**Ick. I know. But five chapters in is a little late to change the typo in the name. Bwahahaha.

* * *

_Author's Note:_ I give you all permission to flame me for such a short chapter. I seriously apologize for the freakin long wait. And just for this dinky thing to. Believe me, I thought it was longer. Goodness. I've got a lot on my plate right now (that's my excuse) and couldn't get around to it. I was planning on doing it over Feb. break, but the weekends were devoted to travel for practice (kendo, I know, it's cool ). So apologies for not having this up sooner.

Also, my second excuse is that I just joined last month or something and started a story for that. I'm also thinking about publishing it so... well, it takes priority at the moment. Don't worry, I won't make you wait forever for another half pager again. The next one is much MUCH longer. Thanks for all the reviews and support. I'm going to punch out the next chapter ASAP so review quickly. I'm going to break my record! bows

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen – Lover's Insequirities**

Yasue sat holding Sojiro close to her chest, a smile on her thoughtful face. He had fallen asleep almost immediately, cuddled on top of her body and hugging her yukata tightly. For now she was more of a mother than a lover, but she wouldn't mind taking the place of both if both were needed.

The blow she had received from Niro was swelling into a nasty bruise on her pale stomach and with every breath she took, a small pain would disturb her. She couldn't believe the words Niro had said to her and he had said them so menacingly… so threateningly. He had acted like he hated her, but they had been such good friends before. When she had risen above her dark haze and found herself tied to the post, she had seen Niro and though Sojiro had already defeated the Gundashi, but when Niro looked up to her, she could see the infinite amount of hate soaked into his eyes and knew she was wrong.

The ceiling swam in and out of focus and Yasue closed her eyes. She had thought Sojiro was dead during his fight with Mikazu. She didn't understand why, but when he didn't get up right away, she feared the worst. Yasue's hold on him tightened ever so slightly and she opened eyes only to find her sight obscured by tears. Her stomach jumped slightly with the effort of keeping silent, but she knew it wouldn't be long before the endeavor became to much to suppress. As gently as she could, she eased herself out from underneath Sojiro and walked outside, followed by Sojiro's eyes as he quietly and unknowingly looked on.

She wiped her tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath in, filling her lungs with sweet cold air. Sojiro was right; she shouldn't be upset over something that didn't happen. Sojiro didn't die, and the wounds he received weren't nearly life threatening, just alarming. She leaned against the wooden frame of the shoji, smiling to herself and her unease. She should be happy, not upset. Sojiro was still with her. Wasn't that enough to be happy about? Of course it was and she _was_ happy, but she couldn't just forget about his wounds. There was bound to be more in the future. He was mortal, a human, and he felt pain and agony like every other being. He bled his lifeblood and his from death just like she did.

Sojiro silently got out of the bed, his hakama and bandages the only thing covering him. Yasue's eyes flitted to him as he slowly sat down beside her, easing himself down the frame of the doorway as his wounds brought about an uncomfortable pain.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," Yasue remarked, nodding to him. Sojiro bobbed his head in agreement, but he wasn't looking at the sight in the sky, but the sight on the ground, in the snow, at the three red stains that marked the end of two, and the pain of another. He could tell were Mikazu and Niro had lain; a reminder, Sojiro thought, of his sins, past and present, and whatever ones would come in the future.

What path had Mr. Himura told him to find? How could he find a path, a truth, with no clues? It was clear he would have to travel a little longer and then perhaps Yasue would find it in her heart to accept him back after he knew for sure what and who he was, but even if own mind doubted it. A heart can only stand pain for so long before it searches for an affection to heal it. Besides, Yasue was beautiful and strong, how long would she remember his love and her love when, come spring, so many suitors would come to take his place as a protector? He needed more time to be with her so, hopefully, when he left, he would have enough of her love to continue on his journey. If she found solace in another and was happy, what more could he ask for?

Sojiro felt Yasue lean into him and moved his arm to hold her. He had to find his truth and somehow he would. He would have to leave, but his fuel would be Yasue and the urge to return to her.

_Himura… you helped me get into this mess so now… you're going to help me get out._

_

* * *

2nd Author's Note:_ winces Okay. Bring on the smashing. 


	19. Dreams

**X-Files – **Haha. … I replied… didn't I?  
**Someone – **Hee hee. I did make it into a huge mess, didn't I? Oh well. It gets cleaned up real nice in the end.  
**Wood Worm -  
****EK – **Thanks for the support, EK.  
**Hopeless Lady -  
****Chibi-Kid – **Hahahaha. Hey, plenty of people break up after… and I don't think Kenshin is going to physically make an appearance.  
**DemonSlayer205 – **Severely disappointing? Oh no!  
**YAHOO! – **I cry too. I cry… too. --;

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen – Dreams**

It was a warm summer's day and the sweet, perfumed air caressed his body like silk as he strolled along through the aisle of cherry trees. The feeling inside, the incessant pull foreward and anxiety made him feel as though he were going towards someone, but the path remained clear of any other presence beside himself. They were important, he knew that, and he hadn't seen them in a long time, but he could not remember who they were no matter how hard he tried.

The wind blew through the pink fluff of flowers, detaching the soft ovals of blossoms from their stems and sent them on a journey towards Sojiro's face. There they brushed across, stroked him with an invisible finger, and proceeded to the ground. Sojiro stopped to touch his cheek, pulling his hand back and staring at his finger.

Since when did flower petals draw blood?

Suddenly the soothing air of summer and gentle atmosphere dissipated and the sky above him melted into a deep pool of red. The trees around him launched into an accelerated Autumn and in seconds, any traces of candied pink had disappeared. Everything was drenched in sticky shadows. Sojiro turned around and watched in shock as Yasue sauntered slowly towards him, eyes half lidded, pupils veiled with a darkness she had never expressed towards him before. She wore a kimono of white with bloodied designs adorning the bottom like she had waded through a battlefield and the torn bodied had stained her. Then suddenly her legs gave out and she fell into Sojiro, hands truculently ravishing his arms and chest as her desperate eyes looked up at him.

"Please," she mouthed, eyes widening in what Sojiro feared might be pain as she lowered her hands. Sojiro's eyes followed her pale fingers as they descended between the small chasm of their bodies and gazed in shock at his hands that gripped the sword, his sword, the sword that now skewered Yasue through her middle.

Sojiro tried dropping the weapon, tried letting it go so he could hold his dying Yasue, but his hands only gripped it more firmly and pushed it in all the way through until the hilt stopped it's passage. Only then did Sojiro's trembling hands release it.

Yasue stared at him, her sharp green eyes staring into his own as she collapsed on the ground in pain. The sword was pushed back out and it fell over to the side, the blade red and rusted. Her green eyes closed and she opened her mouth to scream, but no sound perforated the silence. Sojiro fell to her side and covered her wound, trying to keep the life inside though it poured out over his fingers. As her warmth seeped out, he leaned down and rubbed his face against hers in anguish, mouth moving to form words, but no voice ever accompanying it.

_What have I done, what have I done, what have I done?

* * *

_

Sojiro awoke with a start, grabbing his head with shaking hands. It had been so real. He had felt his sword gliding through her flesh, felt his hands extending foreward. Sojiro stood and walked to the window. It'd been three days since the death of Mikazu and Niro and the strange dreams had maliciously haunted him every night since then.

He'd been planning on going to tell Shizokuma about Yoshi today and he remembered Yasue saying something about a visit from Mitsumei. He'd been wondering about that woman, at one point he suspected her of the rumored outside source, but he had managed to divulge the real traitor before he had taken any drastic measures he might have regretted.

Sojiro smiled out the window, a smile of smug satisfaction. He knew who it was and they would suffer. It was one thing to sell him out, but quite another for Yasue to be tricked as well and he would make them realize that.

Sojiro wandered away from the window and sat down quietly next to Yasue. She had slept with him every night since the battle, but, beside the occasional embrace, everything had remained calm. Not once had they gotten as heated as the night Mitsumei had dressed Yasue in Shizokuma's clothing. Sojiro's smile collapsed into a frown. It hadn't been Yasue that distracted him from his duty, it had been his desire to have her. He had always been pushing her away, ignoring as best he could the emotions that welled against his cracked levee, and he refused to realize how badly they had grown until Yasue had stared up at him, helpless and humiliated, green eyes so full of self reproach.

Sojiro turned his body so he was facing her. She was so peaceful in her sleep, so serene with only a dreamy smile to disrupt her face. He leaned down and kissed his softly, only enough connection for him to feel it, but not enough for her. He was happy with her here in this house. He was slowly leaving his other world of murder and fear behind, his other world with Shishio, but the more he entered into this world, the more he failed to understand. He had to go find what he was looking for before the overwhelming sense of confusion completely smothered him and snuffed him out.

Sojiro took a deep breath to steady his thoughts and laid down next to Yasue, snuggling in close for warmth and trying his best not to wake her as he pulled her in close. He kissed her hair lightly, just to feel the texture and closed his eyes. Yasue turned in her sleep to face Sojiro and placed her hand against his chest. It was still rather dark outside. He could still see the stars from outside the window, pinpricking the blanket of night with small dots of color. He wondered what time it was, but he guessed it had to be past midnight at least.

Sojiro held onto Yasue and squeezed his eyes shut. His stomach was burning again, like someone had blown up a balloon in him and filled it with fire. Sojiro opened his eyes and took a deep breath, happy when the feeling subsided just a little.

* * *

"You think you own this house little boy? You think you belong here? Like you're accepted? Stop asking for everything. You deserve nothing. You should have nothing and we'll give you nothing" 

"Why did you take me in then, if you hate me so much? I do your chores everyday and just a simple bath is too much to ask? I deserve more than you since all you do is use your money to get drunk every night!" the young boy screamed. The woman's hand flew from her side to whip him across the face in a wild animosity not obscured the least bit in her angular features. Her indignant face glared down at him as tears formed defiantly at his eyes, his small pale cheek turning scarlet from the blow.

The woman's hand fisted and she lunged at him, punning him on the ground and she bit and clawed at his body, screaming in fury about what a dirty worm he was. Sojiro screamed for help, quite aware that any help that came wouldn't be for him, but for her.

Luckily, no one came and once the woman's belligerence had exhausted her, she returned to the warmth of the house and left the boy beaten and bleeding in the yard. With a small and muted whimper, the boy sat up and cried into his hands, calling out for the mother he never knew, but who's occupation curled his stomach in resentful knots. Why had she left him here? Why did she leave him with these evil people who cut and marked him whenever they were bored. He was a leisure activity to them, an object to relieve their tensions and stress, whatever small one they harbored.

He heard the woman yelling at the others about what horrible things he had done, intentional discrepancies unnecessarily placed to spark the other's anger and loathing towards him. In a fit of fear, his small feet pounded him towards the shed of supplies and hid him behind anything, everything, and refused to move again.

After a while, his fears of another brutal whipping had subsided and he became angry with himself instead of his mother and her family. "Yelling only makes their beatings worse you stupid. Crying only makes them happy and gives them what they want. Do you want to give them that satisfaction?" his hoarse voice scolded himself, but his sad and pained face answered the question with a small shake of the head.

"But it hurts so much. Her nails were really sharp," his callow voice responded. He lifted his sleeve to look at her scratches drip blood down his arms. The sight of his own blood scared him to death even after so many times of seeing it. "I don't want to cry, but it hurts so much. When they touch me all I feel is pain.

"Then you need to stop feeling it!"

Sojiro's head popped up from it's sorrowful bow and stared wide eyes at the door across from him. No footsteps, no sounds but that of his own heart pounding against his ribcage in angry beats. Stop feeling the pain? How could he stop feeling it?

"Don't be stupid! All you need to do is convince yourself that it doesn't hurt in anyway possible and it will just stop hurting. Simple, huh?" Sojiro's small lips turned into a smile and he nodded. Whenever he got sad, he would think of his mother… it always made him smile just thinking she was out there waiting to come get him as she undoubtedly did.

At such a thought, the smile grew, along with the small amount of hope he felt in his heart that someday his life would get better. He just knew it.

Something would come along…

* * *

**Author's Note: **Much thanks to the Miss Regina Lenox for sending a lot of support through the mail. Really helped me out a bunch with pounding out the next chapter. The reason it took so long was because I had about half of it done and then the evil computer boogey monster came and ate it. Then I couldn't find it and had to start over. Stupid computer boogey monster. I wish him upon my enemies. 

Anyway, I have the second one halfway done

So the second one should be up really soon. YIPEE!


	20. Nightmares and More Nightmares

**Mikifiona: **Bwahahahahha! Thanks a bunch. At first, when I was originally writing this two years ago or something, I thought it would be a flop, but it actually finished really nice and I'll admit I'm a proud proud authoress.  
**Hentai Person: **Hahaha! Glad you figured me out. I'm not sure if there are any more lemons... I did cut one out because it didn't have a purpose AT ALL and really botched up the flow. I'm not going to bring it back ;D  
**Khung Long Lua: **AH! Thanks a bunch! I'm so glad you noticed the dual personas of Sojiro. I've been told, by a respectable someone, that he was turning into some everyday nice anime dude, but I was going more for the development. I see her point, though, and she was a little right. XX  
**Angel-chan:** bows wonderful review, love. But men should be able to cry just like a woman can. Of course, there should be a noticeable difference in amount of sobbing, but I wouldn't put it past any guy I know to have a sob fest once and a while.

_**Author's Note: **Wonderful reviews my lovely readers, sorry for the hold up. It's amazing how many freakin problems you can have with a BRAND NEW COMPUTER. We had the mother board changed so all the documents on my computer were put on disc. I reloaded them shortly after and got back to work, but then another problem showed up and we had to reinitiate it and so the documents went back on disc. The problem wasn't fixed, so I refrained from reloaded my files, that's why this is so late even t hough it's a bit short. Sorry, think of this as a bridging chapter. The next two clear a bunch of things up. _

**Chapter Twenty – Nightmares and More Nightmares**

Sojiro awoke from his reminiscent dream with clenched fists. That had been the start of it all: his emptiness, his hate, his insanity…

The sun was coming up over the crest of the clouds and the light was filtering in through the windows at a snail's pace, illuminated fingers stretching across the floor like an abandoned soul in the waste of a desert. It hadn't snowed in a while, but the ground was still covered in white. Sojiro slowly settled himself next to Yasue, reaching over her body and grabbing her hand. It had curled in, her fingers touching her palm lightly. He placed his hand in hers and extended his fingers, surprised at how soft the skin of her palm was.

He dragged his fingers back into a fist and then pointed them out again, following the trail on Yasue's hand. He closed his eyes and rested his lips by Yasue's temple, finally comfortable for the first time since he went to sleep last night.

That had been the last time he had yelled at them, he ad just dreamt of his very last outburst towards his 'family'. They had been a little surprised when he kept his mouth closed and glared, but even more so when he cracked his smile and looked genuinely happy as they struck at him. It seemed that, for a while, it would have been better if he yelled and made a spectacle since they beat him to the point where he slept in his own blood wherever they left him. After a while he just stopped feeling the pain as his other self had told him he would, that is, after he conversed with that ethereal being a few more times in his hiding place in the shed. Then these became fewer and suddenly not at all as his internal soul overcame the external. That must have been the time his feelings were locked away as well.

Yasue's hand closed around Sojiro's and he opened his eyes, pulling out of his thoughts. She was smiling, but hadn't drifted far enough away from slumber to open her eyes.

"How did you sleep?"

"With difficulty," Sojiro mumbled, flopping onto his back as Yasue pushed herself over him and opened her eyes.

"Did you have another dream?" she inquired, brushing at his dusty gi absently.

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me what it was?"

"No."

"So it wasn't like the other ones then?" Sojiro shook his head with a frown and then looked up at her and smiled, dispelling the look of misery that had possessed his features. "Mitsumei is visiting today. She won't be staying long. I'd say she'd be leaving before noon; just a quick visit." Yasue looked at his hair and began flicking it with her pale fingers. "Are you going to be staying with us this time?" Her green eyes fell from his bed head to look at his eyes which averted and closed almost immediately.

"No. I am going to Shizokuma's today. I won't be long either, not long at all," he mumbled, emotion dripping from his face to leave him with an expressionless mask much like the one he usually wore except for the cold smile. Ever since she had told him not to use it, he had really been careful to be aware of the expressions he wore. If it wasn't one he wanted Yasue to see, he instead replaced it with the neutral look of apathy.

Yasue's hand rested on his forehead and then slid down his face until it wiped at a shadow on his cheek. "I might also see Mr. Notaru. I'll tell him you're glad he's okay. He will be happy to hear that." Sojiro opened his eyes and looked at Yasue, eyes flicking after hers as they darted to different parts of his face.

"Thank you. How is your chest, by the way? Feeling any better?" Yasue asked, placing her fingertips on the still fresh looking bandages around his torso. Sojiro nodded and grinned. "That's good, but they still aren't completely healed so I'm restricting the activities you do. I don't want them reopening." Sojiro chuckled.

"I promise I won't do anything too stressful. Is you bruise any better?" Sojiro asked, sitting up as Yasue crawled backwards into an upright position. Silently, she pulled apart her yukata slightly to show him the remains of her only injury. Most of it had turned yellow, but there were four spots inside of the sallow haze that were still deep in color. Sojiro guessed they were from Niro's knuckles.

Then, as he watched quietly, they began to bleed. The four plum spots gushed out blood in torrents and suddenly, Sojiro's sword was injected into them and his hands were on the hilt, pushing it through, just like his dream.

"Sojiro?"

"Huh?" Sojiro blurted, blinking his cloudy eyes of their daze, the vision of his imagined murder vanishing. Yasue's face wrinkled in worry, as it did on many occasions lately, as Sojiro leaned forward, his hand covering the bruise as his lips tenderly kissed her pale neck and moved to her collar bone. Yasue tried to protest, but Sojiro was easing her back down on the bed and his kisses were so warm and passionate…

Sojiro's hand left her bruise and rested gently on her chest, his mouth kissing her jawline and moving to her mouth. Yasue stopped him brusquely, grabbing his face and searching in his eyes. "What's wrong?" she snapped rather harshly, blushing but still refusing to back down even as Sojiro pried her hands off of his cheeks and put them safely on her stomach.

"When is Mitsumei coming, Yasue?" Sojiro asked, the sinuous curve of his flushed lips strangely kind and cozy.

"In maybe an hour, why?" Yasue replied warily, closing her eyes as Sojiro captured her lips again. He leaned in farther, intensifying the connection. After a moment he broke away and looked down at her, a sly little smile playing with the corners of his mouth.

"Perhaps we have a little time then," he whispered, dropping himself like a feather back onto her and covering her skin with tingling sensations. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her rapidly jumbling thoughts. This was the second time, but she felt uneasy and nervous. Something was ripping away at Sojiro from the inside and he was refusing the talk to her about it. But as her thoughts blew up in her head, she found herself unable to worry.

_**Author's Note: **I feel the heat from your disgruntled gazes at the complete and utter lack of length of my most recent chapters. I can't really explain why. Give me a break though, a ... fourteen or so student writing this between boring classes... they're bound to get a little shorter. Anyway, the next one is much longer and the one after that is probably the one you've all been waiting for (It's not a lemon ;) so no need to throw stones or anything. Please o-o_


	21. Mitsumei's Return Visit

**Mischievous Lass:** Bwahahaha!  
**Kiemba: **YES! bows  
**Insane Reader: **Bwahahahaha! I'm a wench…  
**Lovely Babygirl: **Aye…  
**Angel: **Mm.. nods  
**X-Files: **X.X  
**Hopeless Lady: **X.X 

**I think I got everyone. Thanks for the reviews!

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**Chapter Twenty One- Mistumei's Return Visit**

Yasue finished tying her obi and smiled as Sojiro wrapped his small arms around her waist and kissed the shell of her ear. "I love you." Yasue turned and looked into Sojiro's face for the third time that morning, searching his eyes for some sort of sign.

"Really Sojiro, what's wrong?" she asked, struggling against his strengthening embrace as he drew her too close to look at his face. He heaved a great sigh and smiled against her hair, but said nothing. "Something is wrong, I can tell."

"Why do you think that? Because I said I loved you?"

"No! Well… sorta. I mean, you've been acting strange all morning. I know something is wrong. Why won't you tell me?" Yasue asked, suddenly feeling guilty as Sojiro's hands pressed protectively into her back. "Please tell me?" she probed quietly, trying to cajole Sojiro into relinquishing his anxieties. She grabbed the back of his gi tightly into her fingers and rested her forehead against Sojiro's shoulder, careful not to put pressure against his wound. Sojiro stared at the barren wood wall behind her. Should he tell her his dream? The dream in which he killed her? No… she wouldn't understand. Not yet at least. Or maybe he wasn't ready. Maybe he wasn't prepared for it. Maybe it still wasn't the right time. Of course it wasn't… he still had things to do before he left.

"I honestly don't know why I would be acting strangely." That much was relatively true. His… actions… that morning didn't strike him as abnormal. Or was his expression of affection what was strange? If Mitsumei was going to show, he hoped it would be soon. He was due for some time to think on his own for a while and a short walk to Shizokuma would be long enough to suffice. He knew he had to tell her, but he needed to get some things worked out within himself. He needed to get _everything_ sorted out.

Sojiro pulled her away and gave her a reassuring smile before strolling out of the room and into the freshly fallen snow. The blood spots on the ground had soaked into the soil and could no longer be seen under the new blanket of snow. Yasue followed him curiously, watching him carefully, and stepped tentatively out into the snow. "You know, you probably shouldn't be out here still," he called over his shoulder, not looking back.

"I've _rested_ three days already. I think I'm ready enough to be outside. Besides, if I stay any longer in that little, itsy bitsy room, I'll go crazy." She stepped lightly in the snow, jumping into the holes Sojiro's feet had created for her. She was trying her best not to fall flat on her face and spotting the white burrows was difficult since snow never seemed to have any natural shadows when something hit her in the stomach. Her balance was gone and she stumbled backwards, falling on her butt into a rather large mound of snow. She looked up to see Sojiro laughing quietly to himself, covering his mouth with one hand and his other hand on his stomach. He had made the mistake of closing his eyes in his little chuckle.

The snowball hit him square in the head, exploding on impact. Yasue sat in the snow bank giggling as Sojiro's hand wiped away the remaining snow in surprise. She busied herself with packing another snowball and threw it, bursting out into a fit of laughter as it managed somehow to worm itself straight into Sojiro's blue gi. He looked down at it a moment before pulling the cloth out and scooping the melting white powder out with his hand.

Yasue took his distraction as an opportunity to jump up and run into him, knocking him onto his back. She climbed onto his stomach and grinned down at him triumphantly. He smirked sheepishly back at her and chuckled. "You have pretty good aim for a young lady," Sojiro laughed, shaking his head as Yasue smacked a bit of snow onto his face. "I'm joking! I'm joking!" he yelled, wiping away the cold remnants from his eyes. "I'm all wet now."

"Me too, a little. From when I fell in the snow. It's not really all that cold out and the snow is really great for snowballs." Yasue scooped a bit into her reddening hands and pounded it into a ball, holding it out so Sojiro could see it. "See? Perfect." Then she let it drop from her palm and back onto the ground.

She put her frozen hands on his stomach to warm them. "My back is cold. I think I'm getting frostbite on it," Sojiro mumbled, fidgeting slightly under Yasue. She leaned forward and snuck her arms underneath him, creating a barrier between his back and the heat sapping floor beneath him. "You're very warm Miss Yasue," Sojiro commented, patting her back a little.

"Aw, come now. No more Miss, hmm? I think we've been together long enough to drop formalities. Anyway, are you feeling better?"

"Huh? My back? No, no, it's still quite cold," Sojiro mumbled, rocking back and forth on his numb shoulder blades. Yasue stood up and offered him her hand, pulling him up as hard as she could, even leaning back on her heels. The snow really was melting now that the sun was up, but she doubted the weather would last long; it was only a few days into winter.

Sojiro brushed himself off, turning to look at where he had fallen. Yasue took the opportunity to latch onto his back. Her arms closed over his shoulders and her legs around his waist, causing him to stumble a little bit forward before he changed directions and began carrying her back towards the shelter of the house. She rested her chin on the thin platform of his shoulder. "Are you warm _now_?" she inquired. Sojiro nodded a little and turned to look at her. "That's good. It's not really all that wet though." Yasue pulled herself back and looked down at the fabric, finding only two darkened areas.

"Yasue!"

They both looked over to see Mitsumei standing by the path looking almost petrified with fear. "Oh my! Are you okay? What happened?" she yelled, running over to them, the little bundle in her hands held tightly to her chest. Yasue stared at her a moment and frowned.

"I'm… okay. Why do you ask?" Yasue mumbled. Sojiro let her down and Mitsumei's frightened expression dissolved in an instant.

"Oh, never mind. I thought you had gone and gotten yourself hurt with the way he was carrying you. Hi Sojiro. How are you doing?"

"Good. Thank you Miss Mitsumei. How are you?"

"I'm pretty good. I don't suppose you're staying with us this time?" Mitsumei asked. Sojiro responded with a slight shake of his head.

"I have a bit of business down in town so I won't be able to enjoy your company. I am hoping next time you happen to stop by, that I won't be busy and will be able to sit down and join you two."

"Aw, well that's too bad. I'll come soon then I guess."

"Certainly." Sojiro smiled and nodded to Yasue, walking towards the dark path that would lead him down to the small town. Unfortunately, this visit would probably be his last and it wasn't going to be happy one.

"Sooooo…." Mitsumei breathed. "What's been up with you lately? I haven't been here for… almost a week I think. What's happened while I was gone?" she asked ingenuously, grinning with her painted lips. Yasue had forgotten that Mitsumei hadn't been present for most of Gundashi threat.

With a weighted smile, Yasue led Mitsumei inside and sat her down, explaining everything that had happened. The face of the visitor slowly deteriorated as the story dragged on and when Yasue told her about Sojiro's wounds and Niro's words, her hands covered her mouth and she closed her eyes.

"I had no idea all this happened. Sojiro looked perfectly fine when I saw him," she said, her voice low as though he were right outside. She looked like she was about to be sick from all the information that had been thrown her way. Yasue would have felt remorseful had she not known Mitsumei as well as she did. Yasue placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder and smiled.

"He's perfectly fine, maybe a little confused, but he's fine. You don't need worry about him. He's been happy up here, but he's been having these dreams… he explains them to me and they're so bizarre, but they all seem like they're blaming for things. I don't know, but he had another one today and refused to talk to me about it. I'm starting to think it was really awful." Yasue sighed and retracted her hand, shaking her head slightly in perplexity. Mitsumei looked over at the bundle she had brought and tugged it closer, unwrapping it.

"I brought us something to snack on while I was here. Just some small treats, nothing big. There's some really good western candy that you just have to try. You should save some for Sojiro so he doesn't miss out." Mitsumei handed her a small plastic bag with a spectrum of colorful candies inside. "So… I don't mean to be intrusive, but what happened when I left you last?"

"When was that?"

"When I dressed you up like a goddess! How'd it go?" Mitsumei leaned forward anxiously, flicking her eyebrows up and down a little. Yasue blushed and covered her face, groaning. "You did, didn't you? I knew it! So how was it? Is the little kid any good?" Mitsumei guffawed loudly at Yasue's beet face.

"Mitsumei, please! That's a little personal don't you think?" Yasue cried, shaking her hand enclosed face violently. Mitsumei waited patiently. "Oh Mitsumei, please don't make me answer that!" Again, Mitsumei stared intently at Yasue, determined to get an answer. "You're so difficult Mitsumei. It was fine. That's it. I'm not telling anymore." She waved her hand in front of her and held her chin high, signaling to Mitsumei that she was, indeed, resolute.

"He just couldn't resist you, could he? I can imagine it. He walks in and at first he stumbles around, trying to take you in and then he just falls down on top of you and his hands-"

"Mitsumei! Please to not daydream about my love life. It makes me uncomfortable." Yasue opened the plastic bag and extracted a red candy, disturbed more at how accurate Mitsumei was more than at her fantasizing about her in bed with a man. She popped the candy into her mouth and frowned, rolling her tongue over the smooth surface before smiling. "These are sweet!" she exclaimed.

"Sweeter than mochi. I'm addicted to it already." Mitsumei took one and shoved it into her own mouth, a mouth much bigger than Yasue's. They both sat eating it quietly, both thinking their own personal thoughts in their heads.

"Mitsumei?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think your swordsman is still waiting for you back at your old home?"

"Doubt it. The food can't last that long."

"But it's only been a month or so since you left. You should go back and see. What if he's waiting?" Yasue leaned back on her hands and stared at the ceiling. Mitsumei thought about it a moment before settling herself on her back.

"So what if he's waiting? I'd think it's about time. I waited forever for him. You know how long, but he never changed. I know they say absence makes the heart row fonder… but I guess it would help to have a heart to begin with. When I left he just watched me go. He didn't care whether I stayed or not. He even held the door open for me, not trying to make me leave or stay. He just opened the door and stood there like he was _challenging_ me. Daring me or something. I couldn't back down so I grabbed my things and left."

"It _was_ the night after you tricked him. Maybe he was just upset. You should go back. Maybe just to stop and say hello or something. You left a lot of your stuff there."

Mitsumei was silent. She had never thought of going back, never considered it. She had convinced herself, albeit with difficulty, that he was a cold monster, but now that Yasue had said it, she really wanted to and all those affectionate feelings she had felt towards the man that had so indifferently let her slip away came rushing back with an extremely strong force pushing them.

"Mitsumei? You should go back. I'm sure he's there. Maybe he even stayed in hopes that you would come back. You should never underestimate a man." Yasue looked down at Mitsumei. It was of naïve of her to think that considering she was still young and had only recently engaged in her first serious relationship, but Mitsumei had already made up her mind.

"Fine Yasue. I'll go back and see if he's there. But if he's not, then you owe me a bag of these delicious treats." Mitsumei sat up, her face strangely serious.

"Deal." Yasue extended her hand, happy when Mitsumei gave it a firm shake. For some reason, she felt one hundred percent sure that she wouldn't owe Mitsumei any candy.

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_**Author's Note: **YAY! Thank you all for reviewing this lovely little story! So I've decided to give you all a lovely little present! DOUBLE UPDATE! Bwahahahhahahaa. At least we know long car rides are good for something eh?_


	22. Confrontation

_**Author's Note: **I decided to grace you all with a double update. Enjoy!_  
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**Chapter Twenty Two – Confrontation**

_I wasn't wrong for what I did. The one who is wrong is you!_

Sojiro took slow steps towards Shizokuma's little restaurant. He tried his best to look placid, but was finding it harder and harder with every step he took. By the time he approached Shizokuma's, his fists were clenched so tightly he could feel them quivering. He took a deep and pushed himself inside, standing in the entrance and watching the older woman hustle about the crowded tables.

He remained patient, the training from his sword skills shining through though the uncontained emotions were bubbling over their encasement. He allowed his fingers to loosen as Shizokuma glanced over and saw him standing there. Everything was reaching its peak and he had to concentrate hard not to grab the hilt of his sword and slice her right in two where she stood.

"Sojiro! It's been a while since I've seen you. How have you been?" she asked, running over to him and smiling. The happy, easy going smile she wore so confidently made Sojiro's fingers curls back into his palms, but he managed to keep his voice steady.

"How am I? I see your restaurant is back to it's normal capacity. Congratulations," Sojiro said, but his voice was empty and Shizokuma seemed to notice.

"Um… yes, it is. Thanks. I haven't seen you in a while. Where have you been? What have you been doing?" Her smile was back and Sojiro forced himself to turn his eyes away and hide his indignation at her friendliness.

"I was home, healing." He kept his voice as flat as he could and his face masked with the same strange smile he'd worn most of his life. It seemed to slip back so easily around those he hated, but he couldn't keep the newly unleashed emotions from staining his eyes and, if she had been smart enough to look, she would have seen them there clear as day.

"Healing? Did something happen? What did you need healed?" Sojiro's fists clenched even tighter until he could feel his short fingernails digging into the lines on his hand.

"I was healing from your stupidity. I have two scars across the length of my chest and Yasue has a bruise the size of a melon on her stomach because of your betrayal. We weren't the only ones hurt either. Mikazu and his younger brother, Niro, are dead. How does it feel to have their blood on your hands?" Sojiro hissed, narrowing his eyes.

"Wha… what… are you talking about?" Shizokuma stuttered, but her eyes showed what her voice denied.

"They both died… together and the young girl who was with them was forced to carry the burden of their corpses away." Sojiro felt his voice rising, but he felt no restraint of concern towards anyone hearing his accusation. In fact, he felt a part of him _wanted_ them to hear. Shizokuma's delicate hand covered her quivering mouth, but nothing covered her tears. Sojiro could feel the people around him turning their gaze. "It must have been so easy to slip Yasue those drugs, but I blame myself for that. I should have acted on impulse." Sojiro flashed her a quick smile, but as soon as it was up, it was down again and never once did the hate in his eyes ripple; he felt no sympathy for the woman in front of him. He blamed her for all the death, injuries, and suffering that resulted from the fight.

"Sojiro… I… they gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse!" Her desperate face showed remorse and guilt, but Sojiro remained unmoving.

"Is money that important to you?" He kept his voice dangerously soft, like a growling in his throat. She gasped and covered her mouth again, lowering her head in shame and quivering. "That money cost you more than you think." Shizokuma lowered her hands and stared at him.

"What do you mean?"

Sojiro closed his eyes, feeling the hate and ice that had surrounded his heart fall away into a void in his stomach; back into the box that they had come out of. When he finally opened his eyes, they were blank, and his mouth had curved upwards into a disturbing little smile. "Miss Shizokuma, I thought it would be obvious, but I'm guessing it's not by your apparent bafflement that you have no idea as to who the third death happened to belong to." Sojiro turned and nodded curtly to the staring customers nearby.

"Third… _death_?" It was almost inaudible, the whisper that escaped her blood red mouth against the ghost like complexion of her face.

"Yes. I suppose it's a little ironic, but the people who employed you actually killed him."

"Him?"

"Yes. Yoshi." Sojiro said casually, staring at Shizokuma with the expression he had worn so many times before when he ripped the soul from the body.

"Yoshi? No Sojiro! You're lying!" she screeched, falling to her knees and grabbing at his gi. Despite the itch in his fingers and their natural inclination to reach for the hilt in situations such as this, some part of his mind told him not to. Some part of his mind screamed at him and it wasn't in his own voice. He kept hearing, "Let her repent! Let her repent!" but it wasn't him screaming it. And all this time he had thought Kenshin wasn't with him.

"No. I was there. I saw it. He was with Mr. Notaru looking after Yasue when the Gundashi came. Actually, it was a little after we left here that night. Yasue was barely awake from whatever drug you put in her cup. Anyway, they jumped down and stabbed him right through his stomach. It's sad, he said he just wanted to be with you and you were the one that killed him." Sojiro pried her stone fingers from his gi and took a step back.

She stared up at him, her mouth forming silent words. If he had thrown her into the snow, you wouldn't have seen her skin. She looked dead already; dead and rotting and repulsive. "Mr. Notaru sent word to me. He's buried by the bridge. You should go put flowers there. He would have done the same for you. He would have done anything for you even if he had known of your treachery. Anyways, I figured I'd tell you so you didn't think you got away with it. But I have to go back to Yasue. Have a good life, Shizokuma," Sojiro said lightly, bowing to her and the other dumbfounded customers before stepping back out into the cold.

The sun was still out, shining brightly on the dark character that stepped out and walked towards the bridge. He felt disgusted as he took off his gi, holding it out before him by the smallest amount of fabric possible. He was thankful that she hadn't touched his hakama otherwise the walk home would be a rather cold one.

Sojiro walked towards the clear stream and stared down at the frosty water. So much had happened to me in the three months that I've been here, he thought. I've learned so much from Yasue, but… I don't understand it all. I have to… I must…

I can't put it off any longer. I have to leave.


	23. Confessions

**Noname: **thanks a bunch for your support! Mitsumei was a fun, Megumei kinda character that would like to taunt and tease and stuff.

_**Author's Note: **Okay... I completely forgot who i replied to and who I didn't reply to... so I'm just going to give a general reply to all of the comments here so I don't take up too much space. I'm glad people thought it was Mitsumei. I mean, I didn't want you all to be like, "Duh, even I knew that one," and then have me feeling stupid because I didn't really know myself. I didn't have Sojiro kill Shizokuma (Though it would have been fun to write) because I didn't want to deal with teh repurcussions on the police's side because I don't know that whole law thing and because he's changed and he knows how to hold back now._

_Alright, though. School is officially done for me so hopefully this ff will be done REAL SOON! Seeing as how there is only one chapter left and an epilogue... or just one chapter... arg... I can't remember. I've had some suggestions made about having a sequel... and I've decided I'll have one. I've started writing it so it will be a while until I get it up, but if you guys hang in there with me, I'll definately post it. Thanks to all thsoe who have endured this with me through the entirety and thanks to all the newcomers who are giving this story a bunch of reviews. _

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**Chapter Twenty Three - Confessions**

Sojiro walked up the path just as Mitsumei was exiting Yasue's room, carrying his soaking gi in one numbed hand. He had decided to wash it in the water. Mitsumei regarded him strangely, first looking at his face and then at his wet top, but said nothing except a courteous goodbye and then hurrying away as though she had somewhere important to get to.

Yasue leaned against a wall and watched her go, somewhat proud of herself. Mitsumei was finally going back home to that stubborn man, but she just had this strange feeling that things would be working out with them.

Sojiro smiled and grabbed Yasue's waist gently, pulling her into him. He kissed her lightly once, just a small peck on her lips, and then rested his chin by her forehead. She sighed and leaned on him, closing her green eyes and relaxing. "Would you like to take a bath Miss Yasue? It might help if you're sore."

"Yessss…" she moaned, almost falling on him at the suggestion. He laughed and picked her up, holding her by her back as she wound what she could of her legs around him. He walked her to the bathhouse, all the while being covered in small little kisses by Yasue. She giggled and grabbed his face, flicking his parted lips with the tip of her tongue before pushing her lips hard against his and letting her excited tongue swirl around his mouth. Sojiro stopped walking and enjoyed it, trying hard not to smile.

She pulled away and grinned, hugging his head as he somehow managed to find his way into the small room without eyes. He had filled that tub earlier that night with the intention of taking one himself, but once he had filled it with water, he felt fatigued and headed back to bed.

He set her on the side of the tub and went to go build the fire, but she stopped him and began kissing him again. He managed to free his mouth from her and she moved to his neck, taking his skin hungrily into her mouth. "I… can't get your bath ready if… you keep…" She stopped and looked at him, her mouth curved slyly. "If you keep doing that then I'm afraid I can't get your bath ready." Sojiro nodded when she pouted, but didn't back down.

"All right. I'll let you go, but come back in when the fire is ready. It will take a while for the water to get warm," Yasue whispered, touching his face tenderly with her fingers. He slowly back away, nodding in consent before turning and walking out the door.

He almost laughed as he got the fire started. Today of all days he just couldn't touch her enough. He would miss those green eyes and the softness that seemed to stick to every part of her body, but knowing he would eventually come back to it was comforting to the growing sense of a second thought.

Once he got the fire large and hot, he returned to the bathhouse and quietly entered the room. It was already a little steamy in the room and the air was getting thick, but Sojiro didn't mind. It was almost calming and the effort he had to put into breathing took away from his endeavor to forget what had happened with the other woman. Yasue didn't need to know.

He saw Yasue by the tub, her hands behind her back, struggling with the obi she wore around her waist. He walked up behind her and pushed her hands down, untying it himself as Yasue let her hands skim over the top of the water.

When Sojiro finally got it undone and let it fall by her ankles. The air was getting foggy and the steam was turning the room into a nebulous white cloud. Yasue reached up behind her and grabbed Sojiro's hair gently, feeling torpid in the temperature, relaxed. She sighed a little as Sojiro let his hands wander into her kimono and his lips to kiss her neck.

"Come in with me," Yasue whispered. Sojiro's lips left her neck and he looked at her.

"Huh?"

"Come in with me. You probably are tenser than I am so come in with me." Yasue turned to face him and began unbuttoning Sojiro's white western shirt. He stopped her, pushing her hands down to her sides and giving her a quizzical look. "Take a bath with me Sojiro. You've got nothing else to do at the moment." Sojiro looked down to his half undone white shirt and frowned. "Come on." She waved away his objections and grabbed his shirt again. This time, Sojiro remained still as she finished her work.

Once the last button was done, she looked up at him and gave him a small kiss. Yet when she pulled away, it was only enough where they were no longer connected, but where their breath could still be felt. She watched him carefully as she moved her hands down to his hakama, attempting to disrobe him, but finding it more difficult than she had expected.

"This thing is a piece of work. I can't believe I got it off before," she growled, putting her hands on her hips as Sojiro finished what she had started. The hakama fell to the floor, but Sojiro made sure Yasue's eyes stayed on his face. He felt embarrassed whenever he was in the buff with her. For what reasons, he didn't really know.

"Go on and get in," Sojiro instructed, taking her kimono from her and putting it off to the side before following her. She turned to him and smiled, blowing a few strands of her dark hair from her face and squinting her eyes. Would he be able to leave that? Would he be able to leave the place he so often referred to as home in his thoughts? The comfort of this house was something he would be anxious to return to, but would Yasue still want him after he left? Lately he had been trying his best to make her as happy as humanly possible just so that she might be able to take him back after his absence.

Yasue settled herself on Sojiro's lap and leaned her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and enjoying the heat around her. The water almost burned her skin, but the warmth that sunk into her muscles was nonetheless soothing. Sojiro turned her and put her across his lap, pushing her chest against his and feeling the softness from her breasts against him. "You're acting strangely again, Sojiro."

"Why do you always say that when I… er…" Sojiro cut off, coming up with a loss of words. "I'm sorry." Sojiro tried pushing her off, thinking that his touch was what Yasue found so 'strange,' but she pushed herself back onto him and looked at him with a concerned expression. "What's wrong? Did I do something?" Sojiro asked, looking up at her. She looked away and closed her eyes. He sat up a little and grabbed her face with his wet hands. "What did I do?"

Yasue watched his face, observing it in an attempt to see some kind of emotion, but it was only shown in his voice; his expression remained quixotic. She sighed and pulled his hands from her cheeks, keeping them in the chasm between their bodies. "Tell me what's bothering you. I know something is."

Sojiro pushed Yasue next to him abruptly and lowered his head, allowing the dark shadows to fall over his eyes. He didn't react when Yasue splashed around in the water where he had thrown her, surprised at the sudden rejection. He had just tossed her like a bored child done with a toy. Sojiro looked up and stared at the wall in front of him. That smile that scared her so much was present yet again and she felt herself shivering even in the boiling water.

Sojiro slowly turned and looked at her. She stayed rooted to the corner of the tub where she had fallen, staring at him with her wide green eyes. His smile deadened and his eyes narrowed in pity. "Sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked quietly, a strange friction in his voice. She shook her head, concerned for him, but unable to move from her spot. He turned away from her and frowned at the frosty looking water below.

Mitsumei had said once that driving too far into a warrior's past would upset them. She had managed to disregard his wounds enough so she wasn't obsessing over them, but even now, three days later, she still changed his bandages everyday. She wanted them to go away, but they scarred, doomed to remain forever. Even Shizokuma had said that she once lost someone she loved by being too persistent on knowing what had passed.

Sojiro lifted his hand and looked at it, gazing apathetically as it was slowly taken over with a warm and crimson liquid. It was the blood of his victims, all of them, and he could feel the pain they had gone through when he sliced through them with his wakizashi. He knew it was all in his imagination, that he was having another one of his mental fits, but nevertheless, he began to get a little nervous when it snaked up his arm. He closed his eyes, waiting for the feeling to disappear, waiting to become himself again. The Sojiro before him, the one that had spent his life with the Juppongatana, had sprang forward for a second, breaching the lines of security that had been put up around him. He had been disgusted with having someone so weak on him, next to him, with him, and he was angered at himself for loving her, but he left as soon as Yasue had left his skin and now she was afraid of him, scared he would do something to her.

He felt her hand on his shoulder and looked at her. She was ingenuous, pure, and she was afraid. Perhaps it was just concern, but this wasn't the first time he had made her frightened of him. It was possible that she was scared of him at all time, waiting anxiously for another fit of violence to seize him. He was ashamed to admit he couldn't control them or even feel them rise up, but he knew why they were there. Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana was not gone or changed, merely hidden away within the same box he had kept his emotions prisoner in for so long. He was veiled, but not dead, and _he_ resented Yasue with his entire being.

His hand unconsciously reached for the bruise on her stomach, laying flat across the feathering purple welt. He could feel the pain it caused her, feel the pain from each breath she took that stretched it being absorbed into his hand. It was his fault it was there. Because he hadn't protected her like he had promised her he would, she had gotten hurt. There eyes both peered into the clear water to look at it, but it was completely concealed behind Sojiro's hand.

"I had a dream that I stabbed you here. I thrust my sword straight through your bruise and killed you. Then when you showed it to me this morning, it began to bleed into my hands."

"But it-"

"It _did_ Yasue. It did even if you didn't see it. My mind showed me getting your blood on my hands. It's my fault you're hurt there." Sojiro moved quickly and covered her mouth before she could speak up and object to what he had just said. He knew that she would claim it wasn't. "Listen. Before you try and deny everything I say you've got to listen. You wanted to know what's on my mind and I'll gladly tell you, but you can't discourage it right out." She nodded to him and he let his hand slide from her mouth, smiling as he waited for her to calm down, ignoring the request she had made earlier regarding the emotionless display of expression. "I feel like I'm lying to you."

"Why?"

"Because you do not know me."

"I-" she began. The look in his eyes, the frustration and sadness that had been held within, cut her sentence short. She probably _didn't_ know him. Everything in his past was still a secret. Her mysteries had been revealed with the Gundashi, but none of his had come to the surface. "Okay." She said it with disappointment, though it hadn't been her intention.

"I've been a murderer for about ten years. The first victims were that of my own blood and I was merely a child. My mother left me with them and disappeared. Because of her disrespectful lifestyle, they hated me. I learned to take everything they gave me with a smile. When they beat me and blamed me or cursed me, I would take it with a smile. Eventually, the smile you hate so much took the place of my emotions. Around that time I met Makoto Shishio. He had been betrayed by his comrades and was put to death by the flames, but somehow he managed to survive. It made him stronger. I saw him killing the town cops and I became paralyzed by him. Maybe it was his strength that seized my body, but when he saw me, I found myself cowering before him. He spared my life when he realized I still smiled in the face of death."

_Does dying really make you that happy?_

Yasue watched as Sojiro shook his head and smiled. If he was feeling any sort of sentiments from his past, he was doing a good job of hiding it. At least she knew why his smiles were always so empty. Yasue leaned forward and rested her forehead against his chest, taking in the heat it was acquiring from the water.

"He gave me a sword."

"Shishio did?"

"Yes, but I hid it under the shed. Back then, it scared me. I could only think of how much it must hurt to die by a sword. I even once thought of giving it back to him. Yet on my way to him, the family caught me. Mr. Shishio was a very dangerous criminal and was being hunted by the officials around town. They knew I was hiding him in the shed. They said they would kill me and I saw the swords by their sides. I did the only thing I thought I could. I ran to the wakizashi and used it to kill them. I killed all of them, taking no sympathy, even disposing of the woman that had been present.

"When Mr. Shishio came out to see what I had done, he thought I was only smiling in the rain. The truth was, I was crying. The droplets on my face weren't from the rain. I left with him that night and he taught me how to use a sword." Sojiro stopped and looked upwards, closing his eyes. All that training with Shishio…had taught him how to kill effectively, how to move without being seen. In a sense, Shishio had made him paranoid. Even without feeling, he never trusted anyone but Yumi and Shishio. He thought Hoji was too enthusiastic about power when he himself was so weak. When Anji had pulled him from the fire, Sojiro had been confused to say the least. Dumb and weak Hoji was alive when strong and powerful Shishio was not?

"With the training I got from him, I killed many people. Mr. Shishio had been proud of what I did and I became his most trusted ally. I obeyed everything he said and he was, to me, a genius, a mastermind of reality, but when his plot to destroy the Meiji was formed, I remember I harbored one doubt; that the Battousai would ruin it and he did. The first time I saw him was when I killed Toshimichi Okubo."

Yasue tensed and looked up at him. "I did kill him. It was Mr. Shishio's plan to have that gang take responsibility. When they found him in his carriage, he was already dead. Mr. Himura was in the crowds, shocked just like everyone else. I told him he shouldn't interfere." Sojiro looked at Yasue and smiled. She sat in front of him, stunned for the same reason Kenshin had been that one day he had approached the burlap that had been spread over Okubo's mutilated corpse. Sojiro, though, remained placid. "When Mr. Himura and I fought, because I had lived so long thinking the weak die, I thought everyone followed that truth as blindly as me. But Mr. Himura _protected_ the weak. I didn't understand it. I thought that if that was true, he would have protected me from what happened when I was a child and for the first time in almost ten years, I became angry. That's why I lost my fight. I knew Mr. Shishio was wrong and I would no longer follow him, but I didn't know what was _right_. I told myself I would travel for a while to find out for myself."

Yasue reached up and grabbed Sojiro, sitting and pushing his head into her shoulder. He didn't react, merely let her hold him. He was comforted by her, by her touch. Even though she knew about his past, she didn't feel repulsed by him. She even graced him with her touch. He was half expecting her to run from him and hide herself away in her room. Because she hadn't done that, he had hope that she would make it through what he had had to go through.

Sojiro smiled as she pulled him in harder, her head by his. This was her accepting him, wasn't it? Despite his blood stained past, all the agony he had endured through his years, she wanted him, and her holding him like this was confirmation, but she still had said nothing or looked at him since he had confessed that he was the person responsible for Okubo's early demise.

She grabbed the white robe from the wall and stepped out of the tub, turning to wait for Sojiro to do the same. "Come on, let's go back inside." She handed him another robe. He got out and grabbed her before she could turn to the door. She swung the robe around his shoulders and tentatively looked in her eyes. What he saw made his stomach sink. Could he have been wrong?

"You're afraid of me," he whispered, taking a step back from her and moving so his back faced her. He took a moment and closed his eyes, grabbing the sides of the wooden tub as Yasue watched him. Yasue forced herself to take small steps. True, she was afraid, but she couldn't stop. Her arms weaved through his and she hugged his back to her chest. "Please stop, Yasue," Sojiro mumbled, but she didn't. He opened his eyes and stared at the water before him, watching his reflection in the rippling surface.

He was a monster, a killer, a murderer. No one could love someone as wretched as that. No one could love him. Shishio had found himself Yumi, and she had loved him despite all his intents, but no one could love him. He had been different. From killing, he neither gained nor lost, merely did so because he had been told to. Cold killer, without remorse he had slain those that begged him not to, he had stared into the weeping eyes of victims and cut them dead without any stir of emotion. At least, within Shishio's body, there had been some sort of accomplishment, a bit of pride, a flash of progress. He was nothing but the coldest of all serial murderers. He was nothing. At that, Sojiro moved from the tub and planted himself by the wall, looking at his hands as he let them stay limp against the floor. Yasue immediately moved to him and took a seat before him.

_I really am a monster. A horrible killer just like Shishio was. I'm so weak, so lost, I have nowhere to go, to turn to. Does this mean I have to leave without being able to come back?_

"Sojiro…" Yasue touched his shoulder, but he pushed it off stubbornly. In the water's reflection he had seen it. His eyes had gone gray, cold, stoney. He could see it there, the revival of the Sojiro that had been forced into suppression rising up into the features upon his face. He had seen it there, the open and cold eyes of a manslayer. "I do not care what crimes you committed in the past. I love you anyways. I'm sorry, Sojiro." She took his robe into her shaking white hands and held it firmly, leaning forward and putting her face into his chest. When she felt him shaking, she looked up to see his eyes closed, his mouth turned up into a strained smile, and small dew drops of tears appearing by his lashes. "It's okay. I'm not afraid of you."

"You don't have to lie to me."

Yasue frowned. She wasn't afraid of him because of his past. That had been so long ago, he wasn't the same. The Sojiro he had been then wasn't the same as the Sojiro he was now. She knew that because Sojiro hadn't killed Mikazu that first night, but only injured him. It was his restraint. She knew that, because of that, Sojiro would never be the Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana as he had claimed to be. The reason she felt nervous shivers roll down her back was because of his unprovoked belligerence. "Alright. I won't. Everything you said just now isn't what scared me. All that talk of murder and deadly missions isn't what frightens me. It's just… you pushed me so hard I think I got a bruise on my arm." She lifted the clothe from her forearm and poked at a faded red spot on her arm, chuckling slightly. "It doesn't really hurt."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." She brushed his hair from his face and laughed, kissing his forehead. He smiled faintly and looked at her, his eyes dim with doubt and confusion, but at least he had _smiled_. "Let's go back inside now, okay?" she asked, standing up and offering him her hand. He looked at her, face suddenly serious.

"Do you mean it? Everything you said just now, is it all _completely_ true?" Sojiro asked, watching her smile quizzically as she knelt down and took his hand to her heart.

"I love you Sojiro. Your past, no matter how bloodstained and frightening it may see to me, will never change that. That is the complete truth." Yasue kissed his hands and then snuggled into him, sighing as Sojiro tentatively lifted his arms and draped them across her shoulders.

"Thank you," he said softly, sinking into the hard surface of wood behind him.

"For what?"

"For loving me I would suppose." He released a shuddering breath and finally embraced Yasue with whatever strength that hadn't been stolen from his confession, holding her like if he let go, his heart would cease to pulse.

_I'm not alone anymore, Yumi. You don't have to worry about that. Yet coming to terms with that dependency doesn't bring the comfort I thought it would. I suppose that means I must leave as I had known I would have to all along. I suppose I shouldn't wait any longer._

_I'll leave tonight.

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**Author's Note: **Longer, eh?_


	24. Just Sojiro

_**Author's Note: **Bwahaha! Thanks lovely reviewers for commenting! One... chapter left. _**

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**Chapter Twenty Four - Just Sojiro**

She smiled the whole way back, holding Sojiro's hand as he strolled with her towards the house. She slid open the shoji and walked in, expecting Sojiro to follow, but he planted his feet and stood outside wearing the smallest of hesitant smiles.

"Sojiro? Come on, let's get something to eat. The sun is setting." She hopped back out to him, grinning a little, but when she caught sight of his expression, it faded. "You… okay? You look upset again." She touched his face and moved her hand to his forehead, lifting his sandy bangs from his face.

"I can't," he murmured, closing his eyes slowly and sighing. Yasue frowned.

"Why not? Are you hurt?"

He looked at her and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards as he slowly pulled her into him and held her gently. His hands barely touched her back, merely resting on her as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"I have to go."

"Back to Shizokuma's?"

"No, I have to leave."

"Are you going to visit someone?"

"No," Sojiro chuckled quietly, and then took a small step back from her, examining her face so it was permanently in his mind. "I think I remember saying once that I decided to travel after my fight with Kenshin."

Yasue's concerned face became lined with realization and her body began to sag. "I… know…"

"I never finished traveling and I think I should continue." Sojiro looked at her stricken face and smiled. She began to shake her head slowly and Sojiro, in response, began to nod his. He strengthened his flimsy embrace and exhaled.

"No… no,no,no!"

"Yes, yes, yes," Sojiro chuckled, though the mirth was gone from his voice. He squeaked in surprise when Yasue practically lifted him from the ground in the most bone breaking embrace he had ever felt. He managed to survive the duration of her strength and, once she had lowered him down, he looked at her and smiled. She had tears in her green eyes, large pools threatening to disrupt her pale complexion.

"Why? Why are you leaving me?" she gurgled through her tears. "It's because I asked you about your past, isn't it? Oh, Mitsumei was right! I was too snoopy and now you're leaving me because-because-" Yasue broke into a loud wail of childish sobs, falling backwards onto the ground. She hiccupped herself to a practical volume when Sojiro position himself cross-legged and pulled her into his lap.

"You're acting like a baby, Yasue."

"I'm sorry, but I don't want you to leave."

"I'm not leaving forever." Yasue looked to him and frowned, gathering up her courage.

"H-how long?" The more seconds the silence consumed, the more Yasue could feel her stomach sink to her toes. Sojiro fidgeted a little and stared at the snow in front of him. Even with the growing darkness, he could see the remains of their snowball fight from before. The pile Yasue had fallen in to had crumpled slightly on the right side and their footprints leading out seemed more prominent in the shadows of a setting sun than it had before in the full illumination of the sun. That had been the most fun he'd had since the fight even if it hadn't lasted very long. Yasue had never done anything to hurt him, but he had done so much to hurt her he felt ungrateful for the love she gave him. The words nine years barely managed to reach his own ears.

Yasue's breath caught in her throat as she fought mentally with herself. Had she heard right? He had said nine _months_, right? Or was it days? It would have been even better if he had said hours.

"Years?" Yasue's eyes seemed to shrink in her head. "Nine… _years_?" she asked, staring at him in disbelief. He nodded, his placid face unmoving.

"If you decide you can't wait, I'll understand. I just want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me. Nine years is a long time and by the time I'd be getting back, you'd be twenty-six and I would be twenty-seven. A lot can happen in nine years. You're beautiful, Yasue, and I wouldn't want you to waste that on someone like me if you didn't want to. I-" He found himself silenced by Yasue as she pulled his mouth to hers.

"I'd only be happy with you, nine years won't seem so long if you come back, a lot won't happen without you here, and I'm not that beautiful, you made me that way. I could wait twice as long for you to come back and I trust you. I trust you will come back to me." She looked at him and smiled weakly. "When were you planning on leaving?" She figured if he were telling her now, then he would be leaving in a few days. It was like his two-week notice.

"Tonight."

"What! But I'm- I mean- _you're_ not ready!"

"All I have to do is change into my clothes. It's not like I've got anything to pack. I can leave tonight." Sojiro nodded and though to finalize that decision. She shook her head and stood up, pulling Sojiro into her room and rummaging through her small desk. "What are you doing?"

"I'm looking for something." She stopped her searching and gripped something in her fist. She stood and thumped herself over to him, her bare feet hitting the ground hard, and held out her hand to him. He reached out and she opened her fingers, allowing a small hair ornament to fall into his open palm.

"What's this for?" Sojiro took the ornament into his two fingers and held it up, looking at it bewilderedly.

"I wore that the first time we… um…" She blushed and put the heel of her hand into her eye, taking a deep breath and sighing it out. "Do you have to leave?"

"I'll stay for the night, but I'm afraid that I must. Promise me that you'll be happy when I'm gone?" Sojiro petted her soft black hair, running it through his fingers. She nodded quietly wrapped the boy into a hug, noting how warm everything was about him today; his skin, his scent, his aura… it would be the last time for nine years that she would be able to be a part of him.

_I didn't think you were going to help me._

In the end, it was likely he didn't. He had walked into her life for such a short time, only long enough to claim her heart, and then he decided it was time to walk out again. Yet even in such that small a duration, it seemed their relationship had grown so much.

_Do you like the kimono?_

_Yes, but I like what was inside it more._

When he had first met Yasue, his intention had been to protect her to repay Yumi, the one he hadn't been able to save. Yumi might have been infatuated with a cold killer, but when they were alone together, when it was only Sojiro near by to hear her thoughts, she always spoke of her resentment towards Shishio when he would slay and innocent girl or when she had to suffer and watch a child be hurt. He figured if he helped Yasue, then perhaps Yumi would be able to forgive him for running away.

_I'm not really all that complicated Miss Yasue._

Everyone was complicated. True, Sojiro was no where near as complex as most, but he wasn't simple. There were a lot of things about him that just couldn't be explained, like the lost Sojiro he had thought died with the Juppongatana or the one that hid even deeper still that yearned to cry and drop the sword forever, the one that was afraid. Yet as Yasue pulled him in and shut the shoji door behind him, all he could think about was how Yasue seemed to have everything so figured out.

_I love you Sojiro._

This time it would be more passionate, slower. Her hands pushed into his skin, tender fingers working into his skin as she leaned up onto her toes to kiss him. It was a light kiss, barely touching, but the connection was all they had as they slowly made their way back towards the futon.

_It was just an accident._

One big glorious accident. The almost divine woman he loved was never supposed to bend the bars of the cage he had placed over his heart so long ago. She was never supposed to love him, to worry for him, and yet she had pride in doing so. The he felt from having her with him was just as great, yet, admittedly, still accidental.

_I am Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana._

Not anymore.

I'm just Sojiro Seta.

Perhaps someday I'll be more.

It had been an exhausting night. Even when they had no energy to move, they didn't stop making love. When they were finally beyond fatigue, Yasue had snuggled next to Sojiro's rather sweaty body and fell asleep in his arms. The only hope she had was that he would still be there the next morning when she woke up.

But when the sleep left her and she found herself cold, she knew her hope was blind and unfulfilled. Cautiously, she opened her eyes, thinking maybe he was by the window, but wherever she looked, she found no sign of Sojiro. "You left before I could say goodbye," she whispered, walking to the shoji and exiting the room. "Where did you go?"

She sat out by the snow, rubbing her arm for warmth. Despite Sojiro's request she be happy in his absence, she felt tears streaming down her face. "Nine years won't seem so long if you come back." She wiped the tears from her eyes and buried her face in her hands. Without Sojiro, what was she supposed to do? She could fix up the Onkoshi and get back to work. Se could ask Shizokuma to help or something.

Yasue took a deep breath and calmed herself. All she needed to be happy would be with her in nine years. Half of that still was. Yasue placed a hand on her stomach, a small smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. At least she hoped it was.

The view from the trees was beautiful, but it wasn't enough to stop him from thinking about what he left behind. Sojiro leaned back against the trunk, closing his eyes a moment to recollect himself. What he was doing was stupid, but he had to find something, to realize something. Until then, he wouldn't be content in staying put.

His hand disappeared inside his gi, thumbing the hair ornament she had given him as a memento. He would never loose it, it would be with him always and when he got back to her, nine years from now, he would put it back into her hair where it belonged.

Sojiro jumped down from the tree and continued on his way, nodding to the two startled girls who had been surprised by his descent. Nine more years of wondering and he would be able to go back _home_.

Yasue walked back to her room and flopped down on the futon, surprised when it crinkled. Pushing herself up, she noticed a small note tucked halfway under his pillow. The name on the front read 'Yasue'. Inside, she knew it was from Sojiro and that the only thing she could ever receive from it would be relief, but her hands didn't want to open it. A part of her didn't trust Sojiro to keep his vow to return. She was afraid that opening the small letter would only confirm her cynical suspicion. Nevertheless, her nervous white fingers reached for the paper and held it firmly in between.

She closed her eyes and opened the note, taking a deep breath. Sojiro wouldn't just leave her like that. She slowly brought her eyes down to the paper, staring at the first word and daring herself to go on.

_Yasue,_

_I'm sorry that I had to depart, but I hope you understand that I had no choice. I will come back, just like I promised, at the end of nine years. I won't let myself be convinced not to. I did take the ornament as you wanted and I did give you a kiss before you left, but you were asleep and I don't think you felt it. Please be happy while I'm gone. That's all I want for you. _

_I love you_

He didn't sign it, but she knew it was from him anyway. Another fit of tears shook her body and she clutched the letter close. At least he confirmed he was coming back. That's all she had wanted to hear.

The shoji opened and Mitsumei rushed in, taking Yasue up into her arms. "I heard you crying from outside. What's wrong?" Yasue sobbed even louder, covering her face again.

"He left. He won't be back for nine _years_!" she wailed, burying her face into Mitsumei's kimono. They sat for a while, Mitsumei waiting patiently for Yasue to calm. The other woman made no objection to letting the soft fabric of her deep blue kimono be soaked in salty tears. When Yasue had finally calmed down, Mitsumei spoke.

"You know, he will come back. He just doesn't seem like the type not to." Mitsumei smiled sadly and pushed the soaked black hair from Yasue's cheek as she nodded. "Then what is there to be sad about? I'll visit as much as I can and we'll take walks down by the town together so you can get yourself back out to society."

"Would you help me fix up the Onkoshi?"

Mitsumei nodded. "Oh, by the way, you don't have to get me candy. In fact, I brought _you_ candy. Maybe it will help you feel better?" Mitsumei handed her a small bag of the colorful treats and giggled. Yasue smiled and slid from Mitsumei's shaking breast to the floor where she received the gift with excitement.

"Thanks. I take it everything went well yesterday?"

"Yes. He was there waiting for me like you had said, and he even apologized for being such an ass… though he didn't say it quite like that. I think I'll be more lenient on him. I guess I was expecting him to woo me or something. I wanted him to be romantic, but I guess those swordsman don't have much time to contemplate what it is that girls want. We stayed up and talked for a while about the things that happened and then he let me fall asleep next to him. I kept my hands to myself like a good girl though, figured this time it might be wise to take it slow." She grabbed a candy and popped it into her mouth, winking at Yasue before receeding into thought. "So… I don't mean to be hitting on a sensitive subject, but what happened last night that made him decide to leave?"

A small grin spread across Yasue's face. She supposed telling her _some_ of what happened wouldn't be too horrible and she actually found herself _wanting_ to get it off her chest. Leaving out a bunch of details, Yasue told the story about Sojiro and then part of what happened afterward. She could find some ways to be happy until Sojiro came back.


	25. Return

**Chapter Twenty Five - Return**

"Hey… hey mister. Mr. Sojiro? Wake up!"

Sojiro slowly opened his eyes and looked tiredly up at the little, energetic girl above him. What time was it? The girl's happy blue eyes stared at him earnestly, seeming to meticulously watch his every move. "You promised you'd play with me before you left. Mom said you shouldn't because of your wounds, but you promised so you've got to. Either that or I get to break your pinky."

"What? Why would you do that? It hasn't done anything wrong," Sojiro whined playfully. The girl screwed up her lips and placed her hands on her hips.

"We made a pinky promise and if you don't keep your promise then I get to break your pinky." She nodded her head knowingly, smiling for a moment before grabbing his hand and jumping up and down with it. Sojiro groaned.

"I wish you have told me that before. I really like my pinky finger," Sojiro laughed, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "I can play today for a little while, but I've got to get changed first." Sojiro eyed his clothing longingly, but looked away as the girl began to jump on the western style bed he had slept in.

"Hey mister, are you going back to see Yasue?" She jumped up high, landing on her butt, and bouncing back into a standing position to continue her play. Sojiro nodded to her. "So the nine years are almost up? Are you gonna kiss her when you see her?" She landed on her stomach with an 'oomph' and looked up at him in an almost dreamy way.

"I suppose. I might say hello first though. Don't you think it would be good if I said hello first?" There was a silence as the girl thought and then she nodded, standing up and jumping again.

"I hope you get there all right. Are you still afraid those scary Goony guys will get ya?" She stopped bouncing and looked at Sojiro in all seriousness, imploring his answer.

"No, I believe the Gundashi will leave me alone now. But you shouldn't worry your little head over it."

Her laughter filled the room once again as she flopped down onto the bed.

"But I should get changed now if you want me to play before I leave." Sojiro watched her nod quickly and then scamper from the room, closing the door quickly behind her. He smiled. She had been by his bedside when he had awoke the first time, her finger poised to poke him, her eyes glowing with fascination at his wounds. He'd been almost surprised at how it reminded him of Yasue.

Sojiro picked up his red gi and white hakama. He had grown out of the other one a while back and had to buy a new one, but he didn't realize it's likeness to the Battousai's until after he had purchased it and hadn't wanted to bother those kind salespeople again to exchange for another. He did manage to find a white western shirt like his old one.

The inn had been kind enough to take him in when they found him on the streets. He had been right, the former Gundashi members were a bit disgruntled that Sojiro had broken the group, but thankfully, when he asked then of Yasue, they didn't care who he was talking about. The journey home would be long, ten days, but he knew she would still keep her promise to him.

The momento she had given him was still clipped to his jacket an he was always touching it nostalgically, remembering. Unfortunately, some of the blue jewels had fallen out and it was no longer in very good shape, but he would never lose it.

It was warm outside. It was spring, just after the cold winter. He spotted the young girl off in the street and went to play with her for the last time.

--

Yasue sat down heavily on the floor, leaning against a wooden beam and sighing. She was exhausted. Between the Onkoshi and Tsana, she was officially beat. She closed her eyes and rested for a moment, feeling the clench in her feet slowly let go. It was such a nice day outside and the Onkoshi had been packed non-stop and with Tsana running around like her hair was on fire just complicated things even more.

She swallowed and opened her eyes, noticing a man standing near the end of the trail. She stood up and began walking towards him slowly. "Can I help you sir?" she called out to him. She felt so sluggish today. Her mind began to cultivate things to cook up for dinner.

"Um… maybe," he yelled back and began to laugh a little. Suddenly, she stopped, her face lifting up into a wide smile and any sort of design for a meal lost immediately. She screamed his name and became to race towards him, exhaustion gone and replaced by pure adrenaline, her legs stretching to the point where she was vaguely afraid of ripping her kimono up the seam. Finally he was home and she crashed into his arms and knocked him back, falling down heavily onto the ground. Like before, Yasue hugged him so tightly he thought he might break in two just from the sheer force.

"I missed you so much, Sojiro. You have no idea how happy I am you're back." A tear fell onto his white shirt and Sojiro looked up at her face, wiping the tears away. He slowly pulled her back down to him and gave her a much gentler embrace. "I'm so glad you came back to me. Please don't ever leave me again."

"I won't."

"Promise?"

"I promise. Never again," Sojiro whispered. The beating of her heart was fast against his chest and he could only guess how fast his must be going. It was wonderful to have her back in his arms like this, just like before. The love he felt in her hug almost brought him to tears, and the realization he completely understood why reinforced that urge. Never again would he be _able_ to leave her. His grip tightened around her narrow back as he remembered things from before. Soon she would know what he went through on the trip, but as much as he would hate seeing her worry over him, he desperately wanted to tell her everything that had happened and all about his encounters with the Gundashi members.

"There's someone else who wants to meet you. Come on," Yasue said happily, standing up and holding out her hand to him with a smile. With a quick yank, Sojiro was on his feet and racing after an excited Yasue as she sprinted speedily towards the home. She turned to him and grinned, holding him close to her and looking up to him. Her eyes glittered in that mischievous way, just like before, and Sojiro felt excitement welling in his stomach. "She's wanted to see you for a long time." She dragged him a little further to show him a young girl dancing around a spinning top and giggling.

The little girl looked up and stopped jumping around, her eyes turning stoically from Yasue to Sojiro and then back to Yasue again. With an energetic nod from Yasue, the little girl squealed and raced towards Sojiro, crashing into his legs and squeezing them tightly.

"Daddy!" she screeched and Sojiro's head whipped to Yasue and he stared at her in shock. A small blush to the cheeks was the only answer he needed from her and then the little girl was in his arms, her small body light. She grabbed his cheeks and smooshed them together with the palms of her hands. "Daddy, you're silly." He laughed at her comment and kissed her nose.

"How old are you now?" he asked her.

"Eight!" she yelled, holding up seven fingers and staring at them in a perplexed manner. He smiled and looked over at Yasue, giving her a quick kiss. "What's your name, daddy?"

"Sojiro. What's yours?"

"Tsana. Mommy says my last name is Seta. So I'm Tsana Seta."

"Beautiful. That's a really pretty name. Do you like it?"

The girl nodded and kicked her legs. "Can I go play now?" she asked and Sojiro nodded, placing her gently on the ground. She ran back to the top and spun it again, resuming her play of dancing around the rotating toy with a giggle. They watched her for a moment, Yasue looking serene while Sojiro looked somewhat uneasy. He hadn't expected a child. Granted, he'd been told at every inn that the children loved to play with him, but he had never quite felt an attachment to them. Children were so much more complicated than adults.

Yasue turned to him and grabbed his hand. "Come. There is still something I have to show you." But he didn't follow her. Instead, he pulled his hand from hers and began to fiddle with his gi. He looked up at her and smiled, showing her the hair ornament he had given her. The small clip was put in her hair and he smiled again, grabbing her face and kissing her.

"I love you," he whispered, hugging her again. She sighed and closed her eyes, resting her head on his chest comfortably. "All right. What did you have to show me?" His hand was taken once again and he was dragged towards his old room.

"Mr. Notaru stopped by shortly after you left and gave me this. He said something about it being an answer to your question. Here." She showed him an envelope and sat down, instructing Sojiro to do the same as she leaned over his shoulder to see the letter. "What does it say?"

"You remember how I said that I didn't know what to do now that my sword was no longer needed? I asked Mr. Notaru to do some investigating on the Battousai since he had been thrown into the same situation. It says he is currently living at the Kamiya dojo with Kaoru Kamiya. Also that he never kills with his sword and is protecting the weak as a way of atonement. Atoning?" Sojiro folded the letter up and sighed. "Does that mean I should do the same?" he looked at Yasue. She nodded and smiled, leaning over to him.

"We've got a little girl now. You're atonement could be raising her with me. You will raise a healthy child with me as an atonement for your sins." Her head rested lightly on his chest. For once in a long time he was truly happy.

On his trip he had been searching for a truth to live by. Mr. Himura protected the weak and Mr. Shishio destroyed them. But they both had something in common. They both had a woman that loved them. Sojiro didn't need a truth to live by anymore. He didn't need to save the weak or kill them, he just needed Yasue. He had figured that out on his trip. Now that he was home with her, the whole journey seemed to be so useless, stupid. He missed the birth of his own child just to realize what he needed was exactly what he had left.

Sojiro held Yasue tightly and smiled. If his atonement for his sins was to raise a healthy child, then he'd raise the healthiest one there was and maybe later he would be able to witness the birth of another. He was going to make Yasue happy to matter what. He only wanted to see her smile. She kept her promise by being content in his absence, now he would keep his promise and always be by her side.

_I am Sojiro Seta of the Juppongatana_

_I'm just Sojiro Seta, perhaps someday I'll be more._

_Daddy!_

_I love you Sojiro._

"I love you Yasue."

* * *

_**Author's Note:** Apologies to whoever was anxiously waiting for this update for the last however many years. Heh heh. I lost the notebook and couldn't find it. Then I did, typed it up, and here ya go. All done. Sorry for not replying to reviews, but I figure... I won't remember what it was you were talking about anyway anymore._


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